My laptop screen got broken in a fight tonight with my husband. He couldn’t understand why thatmade me so upset. “It’s just a laptop screen” he kept repeating.
This laptop, which I finally paid off in December, I bought it to do my second online job. I need it for that. I need that money. I have absolutely no money to spare. My next student loan payment is due Wednesday, I realized today I am just around $2.50 short.
Further, I am very clumsy. I have had to replace laptop screens multiple times. I hate it, it’s time consuming. And, I have so much to do on my plate already, this was like the straw that broke the camel’s back. Great, one more task I have to do. Research laptop screens, pay a hefty price for it…shipping will undoubtedly be nasty as well. Oh and it was a touchscreen, so Im sure that will complicate things wonderfully.
I had to self-harm a bit to calm down, it’s the only thing I can do when I’m so upset. I’m just so tired now. I hate how much effort it is to plan dying. I hate how often I have to consider this. I’m almost 32, and since age 18 I’ve concluded suicide is my only option countless times. Y’know, I really think I ought to listen to that rational voice, it’s been right this entire time.