I just want this pain and loneliness to go away. I feel trapped. My depression is getting worse. I want to be gone already but im afraid to kill myself. Everytime I try to attempt suicide I fail. I dont know what to do for all this pain to go away. I hate myself and everything in this world. Why isnt god helping me? I ask for help but my life is actually getting worse.
Tomorrow is the day my mom finds out I wont be graduating. I am so scared because she will beat me very badly when she finds out. Im going through enough with my depression. And now my anxiety is kicking in.
Well I am new here and im only 14 years old in 8th grade going into high school. I am going through depression and have had many suicidal thoughts and attempts. To start off with school is stressing me out right now and theres only a few days left. My grades are horrible and I might not graduate. I have no freedom because my mother doesnt let me out and I stay in my room all day. My friends are always together out being teenagers and I am just at home arguing with my mother. A few days ago my mother told me that if I dont graduate that she will beat me so hard ill remember it for my whole life. That made me feel worse because I know I wont graduate and im scared. Today there was graduation practice while everyone was so happy theyre graduating the teachers put me in the corner and I just watched and cried. Im so unhappy and depression is taking over my life and im not the same. I eat more than I ever did and im starting to gain some weight. I cry all the time about how lonely and sad I feel being in my bed all day with out doing anything. Whats the point of living when you are always crying and so unhappy? I also have so much anxiety. I hate it. Everything is just a mess. Ive been depressed for over a year now and it wont go away. I think its time for me to go. I know im young but I feel so worthless. All I want is to be happy and enjoy my summer and have fun. Just live my life you know? But I cant with mother never letting me and this depression im going through. It feels like im in the dark alone and will never come out.