do your emotions hold weight?
I mean, real, actual weight.
my sadness is stronger than I am. right now it feels like I’m wearing cinder blocks as shoes, like I have sandbags tied to my wrists, as if my limbs weigh 100 pounds each and I can’t move around. I’m at work, just trying to get through this last hour before I close up, but I feel so fucking heavy and I can’t find the strength to break free of it.
I keep checking my phone. I don’t know why. I’m sort of hoping to get a message from someone who can distract me, or make me feel something. but my phone screen is blank. I’m tossing the idea of getting a drink after I clock out back and forth in my head. but for me, there’s no such thing as just a quick beer after work and going home. one leads to two, to three, to….blacking out. but I need to feel something. Today is one of the days that I can’t feel anything at all. except the feeling of this heavy, sad weight dragging me down.
does anyone else experience this?