As all of you may know, I’ve been harassed lately and now I’ve found a way to cope with my depression. My friends told me that I can’t just hide from society even if that’s the only way to feel better, they also told me that I have to face my fears. A method they think could help was try and meet new friends, which is understandable. And the other one was listen to music that made me feel comforted and special, they suggested a bunch of artist but the one that stand out for me was BTS. so I started listening to their music and it really felt like I was being comforted and especially the lyrics of the songs are just so good. Why I like them was because they help keep my suicide thoughts out of my mind, so I’ve been quiet happy lately. So this August 25th I’m going to there concert with my friends. Cause I have more reasons to live now and that made me and my friends happy.
If I killed myself tonight would I start over again from the beginning as a different person?
I still remember the day all of it happened, it was 5 years ago at this day. I remember
what exactly happened. Exactly 8:00 am when I transferred into a school in the Philippines, at first I thought everyone there was friendly because I have friends who study there. But, no I was wrong. I was harassed for being Korean, it sucked and I had to endure it up to now (I’m still in school) they would throw things at me. heck it even went to my classmates throwing rocks at the place I stay in. I would literally cry for hours during the night cuz’ I had no one who would defend me. after a few more days everytime I would come in to the classroom I would always see things written in the board and on my desk. It continued to be like that for a few years and eventually my grade 8 teacher saw what they were doing to me and had them expelled. I was told to go back to Korea to stay there for a while until they talk to their parents about them getting expelled. While I was back at Korea, I told my parents about everything that happened and they felt sad for me. After that, you think it was over? oh hell nah.
during my 9th grade I was harassed more in my classes and that’s when I started thinking about suicide. First time I attempted to kill myself was back in my dorm, I originally planned to do it with a knife, but my roommate saw me and she stopped me and contacted the school counselor to come to our dorm and talk to me. I still, try to do it now but I don’t have the opportunity to do it. But does it really matter if other people saw me jump off a bridge? They probably wouldn’t, right?