East Asians countries are one of the countries with the highest percentage of people who committed suicide.
But it seems like most of the people here are of the American continent.
Are there any one who lives in East Asia here?
East Asians countries are one of the countries with the highest percentage of people who committed suicide.
But it seems like most of the people here are of the American continent.
Are there any one who lives in East Asia here?
Today I conversed with my friend, and said “I regret not playing a lot last year. I really did nothing in 2017.” Then, she said, “No, you went over to your boyfriend’s house about three times a week and played a lot with him.”
Then, I realized something. As my self-defense, somehow I deliberately erased memories that are associated with my ex-boyfriend.
Deep in my self-shame and pity, I haven’t even thought once of all those numerous occasions of him and me.
They are quite traumatic to me, and I guess that’s why my brain put them in some trash can until now.
Wow. My own brain surprises me.
I […]
After a few weeks of silence, my headaches finally made their come back!
Wow, they really choose their timing freaking well seeing as I’m in such a critical period right now and I really need to focus on my big test!
Along with the upcoming test, I feel like the stress emanating from my ex being such an asshole has to do with all those headaches in the right side of my head.
Shoot.
I feel like shit.
Could this be a start of something new?
Finding someone who doesn’t know me a lot yet, who may love me, from whom I could get support…
My last relationship was such a mess and I was very naive. My self-hate actually got worse from it.
Will he be able to heal the wounds I acquired from the last relationship and help me become a better person?
I don’t know. I’m too nervous.
Relationships have always made me out-of-character. I’ve been not exactly rational when having boyfriends.
I hope this works out well, because he makes me smile and that didn’t happen for a long time since my family became a […]
I didn’t speak a lot today. I don’t think I conversed with more than three people.
The loneliness and the lack of communication combined with stressful situations are making me feel more numb everyday.
It’s like… the more tired you feel, the more stiff you become.
I just wish I can end my life as easy as it is for me to breathe.
The reason is death, in essence, is quite the same thing as breathing.
Both has something to do with life; the only difference being whether you’re erasing or keeping it.
If it weren’t for my mother…. I can’t bear the thought of leaving her when she raised me […]
All my friends (except one) happen to be associates of my ex-boyfriend. After I broke up with him, I couldn’t even bear to look at him, let alone talk to him.
Naturally, I distanced myself from my ex, which resulted in me being distanced from my friends, too.
The thing is my friends started to ignore me. They seem to think that I’m the bad one, when in fact it was probably none of me or my ex’s fault.
So, here I am. F*cking alone.
I have no one on whom I can rely.
I know that only when I tell them what really happened would I be able to […]
They’re getting worse. I feel like I want to crush my skull if it means I can stop the pain.
They’re killing me.
I can’t concentrate.
The worst part is, they’re not migraines. The headaches are most likely stress induced and there is no cure for this.
I hope I just lose consciousness.
I’ve loved music since I was very young. Learning piano from such a young age allowed me to develop perfect pitch, and this ability has helped me a few times. I actually remixed some of the songs my friend liked and scored the music, enabling my friend to play her favorite music with our school orchestra.
My music ability is a gift. Yes, it’s useless unless it’s used for entertainment purposes, and frankly, I’m fine with using it for my happiness.
I can never make “new” songs. I cannot compose. Yet, I’m an excellent “copycat.” I can perfectly hear the notes of the music I hear and […]
I’m so sick and tired of my lousy self.
I’m not gallant enough to tell everyone that whatever they heard about me from my ex is false.
I just didn’t want to give my ex satisfaction that he made me mad.
Oh, this so sounds like teenage angst. Fuck.
Once, I was desperate to get along well with my friends. I paid whenever I went out to eat with them, gave them gifts so they wouldn’t leave me all by myself.
It so happened that I had dated one of my friends. Dating him wasn’t as happy as I thought. That experience still haunts me. The touch, the kiss.. all is a nightmare. Even now, as I trace my scars, I think of him – he destroyed me mentally. Yes, the relationship was toxic.
One might wonder, “Why didn’t you break up with him? Don’t act like a baby.” Well, if you and your boyfriend happens […]
Deeper, deeper, the wound just gets deeper
Like pieces of broken glass that I can’t reverse
Deeper, it’s just the heart that hurts every day
You who was punished in my stead
You who were only delicate and fragile
I’m basically adult in some countries. I’ve almost reached a fully mature age in my country.
Maturity doesn’t give you more control in life, like so many people say. I believe it actually forces you to find a reason to live.
For instance, when I was in middle school and -like so many other girls- very moody, I didn’t give a shit about what my family would feel if they were to be left behind.
Yet, now I’m almost at college, I guess I DO care about my family, however small in size they would be.
I’ve also heard instances from many adults who make a living and work […]
When it became too much,
I drifted apart from you.
I’m lonelier than ever,
but I guess this is the way things have to be.
By losing you,
I’ve gained insights and confidence.
There can’t always be a bad side
to everything.
I thought I was totally fine. I mean, I was sure I wasn’t stressed as much as I had been a year ago. Also, I stopped hurting myself, which is a huge plus.
However, I’ve been suffering from headaches for a few days now. Not your usual not-that-painful headaches. I mean, the ones that make you go home early from school or work.
The thing is there are no causes. It may be stress, it may be my sitting position, but I don’t really know why.
Yep, that’s what I told the doctor.
I know the cause to my headaches. I’ve been fucking stressed from my social relationships for […]
I made a mistake while shaving and I started bleeding. Of course, the cut wasn’t deep and it obviously wouldn’t leave any scars. But still, I was in the middle of trying to stop cutting and seeing the blood triggered something in me.
Stress arises in every situations. But everyone’s way of coping with it is very different. I had a low stress threshold and bleeding was my way of getting the inner demon out.
Cutting is disgusting. I hate seeing my scars even now.
But how should I deal with stress? If I can’t punish myself, who’s gonna punish me?
I’m an atheist, though I don’t like to call myself that way.
How can you believe in things that you know aren’t real? How can you be sure there’s a God if He has never answered your prayers?
Oh, and I thought Christians were supposed like their neighbors and friends. But most of my christian friends never do that. It’s really hypocritical when you force to me to call proper name of God and be selfish and betray your friends.
To me, religions aren’t what I rely on to get through hard times. They’re obstacles. They’re the reason why some progresses were made not as fast as it […]
I was dazzled by how acute the color of blue the sky was today. Blue, like the shade of the ocean so deep and clear.
Why is the weather always so nice when you’re at your lowest low? I want to fully enjoy the weather under the blue sky with clear white clouds.
Maybe it’s just how fate works.
Fate is testing me to see if I can overcome how different the weather and my mental condition are.
I didn’t mind spending everyday in the pouring rain for you.
For you I was so blinded by love.
Making chocolates and paper origami flowers were nothing compared to how attracted I was to you.
You were the reason we changed. Sorry, but it’s true.
Our relationship was quickly becoming abusive. I cut my wrist. I was young. I didn’t think it was you I was so depressed and desperate.
Fuck you.
Why do you keep approaching me? Back away.
Your face makes me want to make me puke.
Don’t have the audacity to touch me, for every touch I shared with you makes me shiver with fear.
I wear a wristwatch just so I can hide the scars under it. In fact, I’ve become so used to hiding my scars that I feel quite insecure without wearing a wristwatch.
I should’ve never cut.
Cutting wasn’t a solution to anything. Damn it, I knew it, but why didn’t I stop? Why, oh why did I cut on the same place over and over again – thereby making it impossible to heal? Self-harming only brought me more hardships and more self-hate. The temporary bliss I felt from seeing myself bleed could never compete with the cuts I inflicted upon myself.
I should’ve gone to a psychiatrist. Anything […]
I used to care a lot about how people thought of me. I was consumed in an everlasting obsession to always show my best side and never show weaknesses. It obviously didn’t affect me in a positive way. I guess experiencing some hardships in my life did bring quite an unexpected, yet positive change in my personality – I stopped caring. This might look like nothing to someone else, yet, for me, this change was so comforting to me. I’ll do whatever shit I want to do, and that’s that.
Then, I also lost interest in maintaining relationships. I used to feel bad for myself for […]
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