How did I end up like this? Lying down in bed and thinking about all the possible ways to die. I guess I’m just too lonely. I literally have no one to talk to. I used to have two really close friends, but then the other one stopped high school and the other one got a boyfriend. Now there’s no one beside me. My family doesn’t really care since I’m eighteen now. I just want this pressure in my head to be away. I want to sleep, but my mind is too busy with all of this darkness and sadness. I’m sad, I admit it, but […]
MotionlessButNotEmotionless
MotionlessButNotEmotionless
I don't want to say anything cliche, but it doesn't matter who I am. I'm here for a reason. Thank you if you read my stuff, it means a lot if someone does.
I feel like it’s just so stupid, but lately when my best friend started dating, she doesn’t listen to me anymore. I talk to her about my day and stuff and she doesn’t even respond to it. My depression, social phobia and anxiety are something I would like to talk about, and actually I need to talk about, but now I have no one to talk to. It’s sad and stupid as I said earlier, but I wish my friend would help me. I feel so lonely and I have to keep it all inside, trying to keep myself somewhat sane. Smoking has grown into […]
I’ve noticed that I can no longer smile to myself. When I smile it is meant for friends or family. I know what caused it. My dad was violent, not against me, but my mother. I was afraid of him, he had rules that I had to obey. I couldn’t disobey, say anything bad about him… I had to be silent, listen and obey. I learnt to be like he wanted. I didn’t have many friends because of it. I was really shy and it took me a long time to trust someone.
Later my parents actually divorced and it made me really happy. I was fourteen by then. I didn’t […]