By reading most of the post’s here really revolve around love. Or lack there of.Â Usually a father or BF/GF thing. I know some of my issues stem from relationship shit. Why do we insist on letting our selves be torn apart by the opposite sex?
I have gotten nothing but bad news for weeks now. One huge kick to the teeth after another. And it would be difficult for life to throw anything else at me that has not already been done. However, I have done a lot of thinking and have decided that I will NOTÂ just sit here and let all of these people take away my soul, my dignity, my self respect and my life. I am going to make a stand and become more proactive in these problems one at a time untill I reclaim what is rightfully mine. I want my life back. Sitting here thinking of all of the pain I am in and the pain I would like to inflict on a certain person is getting me nowhere.
Ending my life now would be like conceiding and letting them win! Not this time, I wanna be the winner for once. just once.I honestly believe if I make a stand and really put forth the kind of effort into going after a chance at a real life, that I put into trying to end it, I will succeed! Dont get me wrong, I still have the same feelings as before but it was something I heard on tv last night that clicked in my head. (glad it was not a gun). It just rang my bell like a wake up call. I am still in huge troube financially, and will still be losing my home on august 1st and I still have no food but I dont care anymore! Somehow I have been here before and have managed. I have lost all that I have worked so hard for and have never been able to replace it but I still got by. I have a friend who has invented a machine for processing gold and he worked on it for several years and is worth over $600 MILLION dollars, his stock holders took over and have basicly stolen his entire life! He has not received one CENT from HIS invention. However since he spent every dime of his personal life savings building it, he is flat broke and living in poverty. But this is a man who made his first million at the age of 24 and he is going to fight untill his last breath to get it back. So when I spoke with him he lit a fire under my ass and what he said really motivated me to get back up and reclaim my life and go after what is mine. Nobody is just going to give it to us. We have worked hard all of our lives now we need to work harder, longer and better. So to the ASSHOLES of the world, I am back and now Im PISSED!