Wow, Hey guys. Haven’t been on here for a very long time. I want to be able to say that I have gotten better, I want to be able to say that I’m happy. But the truth is I just don’t really know how to be happy anymore.
Anxiety and stress are controlling my life at the moment, No matter how hard I try I usually end up giving in to it and cry. I would be completely lost without my boyfriend, the five hour time difference doesn’t even bother me just so long as I have him on skype. I still feel comforted even when he is asleep. I’m so lucky to have him in that respect, but on the other hand. He can be a complete asshole., to the point where I don’t want to talk to him anymore but can’t hang up the skype call for fear of what might happen if I don’t have him there for support.
It’s just his nature though, I’m so in love with him and I know he feels the same about me. He wouldn’t ever deliberately hurt me, and he canÂ recognize when he’s done wrong. Without him, I probably wouldn’t be here right now. These past few weeks have been really rough, what with my mental and physical health deteriorating. All this stress has really taken a negative impact towards my body, brilliant.
I feel like I’m slipping back into that dark place, and I can’t help it. No one is there to help pull me out. I don’t wanna become suicidal again, I know what it does to people and it’s horrible. I just want to feel normal again.
My biggest concern though, is you guys. If any single one of you, and I don’t care whether we have spoke before or not, needs help or just wants someone to talk to then I strongly urge you to contact me. I can’t promise a happy ending but I can promise support and a shoulder to cry on if needs be. I just don’t want anotherÂ valuableÂ soul lost to depression and suicide, It’s not right.
And remember, You are completely worth the time and effort, so none of that either. You are here for a reason, just most of us haven’t found that reason yet. Please don’t give up just yet <3
Comment if you are interested in my email or skype.