I dont know how I got here, but I still want to end this pain Im trying because I do have somethings to live 4. I never cared about friends but I need one now I am so lost
no name please
no name please
My mother controled me all my life. I worked hard gave her my money thought she was doing right by me. When I married she became pure evil to me, she loves my husband(if she can even love). She stole money from me we had the same account but when I joined my husband she denied my half the account. She has destoyed me. I lost my job because she is my tormentor, I hate her. All she wants is my daughter, to control her and destoy her as she did me. I do hate her. Growing up I wondered why she kept me she was never a mother. She sent my other brothers and sister to a foster home and detention center, my sister is messed up. I was always the normal one. Had an awsome therapist in my 20s, she told me I was fine my family had the problem, I hope its ok to say her name cause she was good and I need her now, lydia gadd. Well my mother kept me because I was the money maker, my dad died when I was little and she got money till I was 16 then she got welfare until I was out of school, no wander she didnt care if I flunked another year of money. She took my money and now that I have no job my husband works even wants apart time job. My mother wont lend me money to get food, gas anything, shes evil. I havent eaten in 3 or 4 days, I thought I would do a spiritual fast. It seems as it rains it pours in golf size hail. I have no phone I wanted to die tonight I wanted to slit my wrist found alink that lead here. I love my husband and daughter I dont want to leave this on them finding me and asking why, I may have all this pain, am I as evil as my mother to leave them with that pain. We want to file bankrupsy but dont have enough money, Im afaid one day I may hav to go to court because of the bill collectors, and losing my house. GOD where is GOD I use to seek and find him but eveything I know to do has failed I have failed my child, husband and GOD, AND THAT BRINGS MY MOTHER JOY. I tried to hide how deeply I hurt tonight, he tried to comfort me but my mind was set, he had to go to work I know he was worried about me, but he cant lose his job, he told me to be hav tonight like he had a feeling, he does know me. So this site is a start what do I do, cause I still hurt so painfuly.