It’s the first post of today, it seems late… it’s cold and lonely… I’m too scared to go back to work, i can do the job fairly well and they like me but it’s so much stress i get physically sick just thinking i have to go in. I can’t sleep because I’m afraid of being late, the hours are brutal too midnight to 10 or 11. Idk why it’s so terrifying for me it feels like anything else would be easier and i want to just quit but at the same time i have people who need me there at least to give them time to replace me but like I said it’s so terrifying for me idk what to do. I just want a low stress job where I have minimal contact with people, but when I’m almost 30 and don’t even have my ged yet my options are limited. That’s just one aspect and I’ve left out allot…but I just want to end it all.
, why do I let myself suffer? Who’ll be there to really help?idk, and no one there’s only one who keeps me here and that’s because I can’t stand the thought of her going through her brothers suicide, if I can let go of that then I can be free .
And Anyone else wish we as individuals didn’t need validation?
Are there any guys on here who’ve decided they’re done with women altogether?
Cutting with a heated blade? That sounds so amazing.
Anyone feel up to talking?
So interesting thought here ive struggled with suicide/ depression over half of my life. I finally found some help that actually worked(anyone wants to know just ask). So after that, i got thrown back into the same situation before i got help and my depression was at its worst. Most people i think tend to either fight that darkness or don’t know how to embrace it without the crippling self pity. After I had my emotions played with last time, think i have found my balance of embracing the darkness and pain without the need for self harm. I fully accept it and am coming to enjoy it now,i love my darkness everyone else can fuck off.
We are steph,
Your heart will be adapted to ours.
Emotions are irrelevant,
Your Love is Futile.
Just something i got inspired to write.
A wooden doll, burned at the stake
Crackles with the pain of hellish laughter
In the rising smoke of the night
You see the shadows dance and play
They don’t know they’re damned for eternity
A child’s tears awakens the grave
As the headstone is praised
A voice from nothing calls for death
A reply taken in a melancholy breath
Don’t fucking trust a stephanie…
And don’t trust a fucking stephaine.
Just someone to listen…
No not about Corona…
I’m just looking for love. I hate being in this world alone i just wish i had someone
Just want to die please…please let me die i don’t care anymore I’m worthless and only suck up life just end it
You know what i hate about dynamics is their not consistent
as unknown and yet we are recognized, as dying and yet look! we live, as punished and yet not handed over to death, as sorrowing but ever rejoicing, as poor but making many rich, as having nothing and yet possessing all things.
Dreading the dread I must face
- Hello is anyone there? Can you hear the screams from my mind and the tears from my heart?only delusion and madness respond why don’t you let us go we’re starving to get out we want the taste of fury to satisfy our hunger but then regret and sadness com in to spoil the flavor so what do I do?I have an empty plate of abyss spiced with rage and peace they do not complement each other well but, add a bit of fear to even out the contrast and to get that apathy to rise. make sure the taste of anger is subtle for it is a strong taste that no one will enjoy. now moving on to the side dish of despair it’s a dish all by itself filled with loneliness accompanied with a drink of pain the only way to enjoy this dish is to be alone without candlelights for darkness is the proper setting for devouring this meal. as it is this meal is so heavy you would rather have skipped this meal altogether but then you wouldn’t get to taste this inglorious entrée that is served to you morning,noon,and night you try to ignore this meal but you are so hungry to feel pity for yourself that you must eat no matter how painful, the substance of perspective temporally takes away the bitterness but the disturbing taste always returns, you feel the need to release your distaste for sanity releasing the rage…