Going to college has always been my dream but after 1 year I can’t afford it and I refuse to work my ass off in a minimum wage slavery job until the day I die. There is absolutely no happiness in this world without a degree and without the money that comes with it, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to serve stuck up pricks burgers for the rest of my life I REFUSE!
The financial aid office offers no help to independent students and my drunk deadbeat dad cannot cosign a single loan for me, and I have no biological mother in the picture. I got rejected for every student loan I applied for on the basis of having no cosigner. Donald Trump ended the Perkins and other federal loan programs that I would have qualified for here. everything just keeps going wrong and my dream is dead in the water before I can even begin year two. I’ve applied to over 200 scholarships and gotten 0. I’ve even started a go fund me because I’m desperate. I’m out of options.
So I made a deal with myself.
I self-harmed for the first time in 3 years last night by burning my arms with a torch last night.
I 100% will take my own life If I have to drop out of school. There is no way around it that my entire life is ruined without college. bottom fucking line. With that being said I plan to dump a canister of gasoline on my head on our common lawn at school and light a match. Hopefully, then somebody will fucking change something.
Regardless of if they do or don’t the pain will finally be over for me. Can’t come soon enough.