My “doc” posted notes in an email today telling me that I am now diabetic. This is a death sentence for those that don’t know much about it. She seemed happy about the diagnosis, almost giddy, and decided to throw buckets of pills at me. I told her “no, I am not interested”. No pills or any other crap. I am not going to spend the rest of my short and painful life taking pills and eating oatmeal and salads (gag). This diagnosis is fine with me. I am so done with this life. I just want it to be over and I am too […]
OldCow
What kind of a person prides himself on never shedding a tear or really ever caring when their mother or father dies? This is the asshole I am married to. His dad was a nice guy. He died yesterday and he just shrugged it off as if he deserved to die for believing in the wrong religion. He suffered with COVID and then Pneumonia for three weeks and died struggling to take a breath.
My husband is a selfish person who believes he is smarter and better than everyone else. He enjoys making everyone’s live just as miserable as possible. He is one of many reasons […]
Just wanted to say it to the universe. Thanks… Thanks so much for making sure I fail at everything.
Nothing like being 60, in a dead-end entry-level minimum wage job because you have failed at every other job you have ever had. Only my sister is left in my family and she hates my guts because I am completely disgusting in her eyes. I am short, fat, ugly, and stupid. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror most days. I am married to a man that won’t be seen in public with me, but he is more than happy to have me be his […]
So here we are in this stupid quarantine. Everyone is whining about how horrible it is to be forced to stay at home. I personally see no difference in my life. I have no friends. My sister is my only family and she hates my guts. I never go out, I never do anything with other people. The only difference is that I am working at home instead of at my “perch” in the office.
The place I work does not actually give people like me a real desk. No. It is just a very small table that is just barely big enough for a laptop […]
Does the world notice when one more person dies? These days with people dying by the thousands, would anyone notice just one more old woman dying? I am 59, almost 60 and I am considered a “boomer”. All I hear on the news is how the young are saying this virus is great because it is getting rid of the old useless boomers. The Bommer Remover Virus is fantastic, as far as they are concerned. So, I am here. Waiting to die. Bring it on, I am ready. I have nothing to live for. No family other than a sister that hates me, and a […]
I am sitting here wondering why I am so desperately unhappy around the holidays. Is it because both of my parents are gone? Is it because my one sibling is just a total *****? Maybe it is because my husband is in some stupid cult religion that believes that Christmas, as well as every other “personal” holiday, is wrong or some sort of pagan BS? Is it because I have no children so my work always manages to think that I can work extra over the holidays? Maybe all of the above. Or, maybe I am just a miserable person.
So here I sit without any […]
I won’t bore you with my list of failures for today. Let’s just say that today has been another shitshow in a long life of shit days. Oh how I wish I would just not wake up any more. I just want to go on a vacation somewhere where there is not any laundry, broken toilets, cracked walls, lawns to mow, housework, beds to make, dogs to feed, dishes to wash, or cooking. But, I will never again have a vacation. I can’t afford one, and I never will be able to afford one again.
I am so sick of failing at everything. Other people my […]
I really have to wonder why I am so sensitive. I’ve been a fat ugly cow for my entire life. You would think I would be used to the way other people treat fat pigs like me. But, I sometimes forget and think that maybe for a moment I could be treated like everyone else. I don’t like being fat, but it is just the way I have always been.
Today at work one of the other departments had pizza for lunch. They ordered a huge amount of pizza and there was a lot left over. The members of that department walked around the rest of […]
I really do wonder every single day why my life is so pointless compared to the lives of others around me. They have a purpose and see a future. I have no purpose and I just live in the moment to just get to the next moment because the future is simply nonexistent for me.
It is so damned depressing to be working at my age and realize that I will never have enough money to stop working. Every time I make a bit extra, an expense happens (hot water heater, for example), and it is gone. I used to have a bit of money saved […]
My mom is dead. My dad is dead. My sister hates my guts and won’t speak to me. My husband is a self-centered narcissist that only cares for himself. I have NOTHING to live for. My job is horrible and it pays badly. Every time I spend a penny I have to think about how long I have to work at my horrible low-paying job to pay for that sandwich, or that pair of socks. I have nothing. No prospects, no money, no hope, no friends, no family, and no hope that it will ever get any better. I’m 58 and my life is over. […]
Every day I just feel older and my body is more broken. I’m old (almost 60) and it hurts to stand, sit, lie down, or walk. Every joint aches and my feet, knees, and hips feel like they have been beaten with a hammer every morning. This is the reward you get for working hard your whole life – pain. I will be honest, I am not “in shape” and have never been thin or athletic (not pretty either). I also found out that no one takes you seriously when you are over 40, and some will come right out and insult you in interviews […]
I know I shouldn’t let it get to me so easily. After all, it has only been 5 months since I was terminated from my job (no reason, just termination and a “go fuck yourself”). I should give it another year of job hunting before actually succumbing to the depression and hopelessness. Just like everything else in life, job hunting gets harder as you get older. If you are over 40 you might as well forget ever finding a good job again if you lose your job for any reason. Here in the U.S., everyone seems to think that older workers are slow, stupid, and […]