I’ve reached the point of no longer caring. There are people I care about, but the pain I feel, the depression, the constant struggle is too much now. I have about 5 days till I get paid. I’ll withdraw everything in my bank accounts for cash, box it up and send to my grown kids. They both live 1000 miles away. My tools go to my son hopefully and I’m planning my exit. I have the means to go painlessly and quietly. How others cope with me being gone will be tough for them and will likely linger far longer than I hope, but I must exit this life once and for all. I no longer desire to keep living the lie of this life.
My biggest regret by far, well beyond any regrets I have for my past actions will be the sorrow I leave behind.