…Jump. Been in the longest relationship with her my whole life. Even though I’m pretty young, it feels like it’s been forever with her. Funny I never liked people. I counted it off as being anti social or just not being able to put up with people’s shit. It felt cool. I always ditched public outings with”friends” just to hang out with her. Even in the emptiness I find peace.
They always ask me, “why don’t you come around”. I say “I’m busy; I’m busy with her”
‘Who is she?” Man I couldn’t tell them. Well to be fair I didn’t know who “she” was. Did she have a name? Did she like Chinese? How could I Tell them that she’s inexistent?. “She” is lonliness I said to myself. The lonliness that comforts me. The quantum leap into series of depression and crippling anxiety. “Am I worth it?” “Will I ever be good enough?” . Thoughts like these she put in my head. Making me wanna jump. Pick up the knife she said. So seductively you’d think she studied it. “Hey there’s oncoming traffic, you know what to do”
Will I succumb? Maybe maybe not. Well find out soon enough.