just found out my babushka (grandma) has cancer.
its absolutely ruining me and i don’t have anyone to cry to about it. she’s in hospital currently and I’m sitting at her dining table with her cat, i haven’t drank alone in a long time and i hate that this is the reason i am. I’m crying so much i feel like I’m gonna throw up. she was already in hospital for an infection and needing extra care, she wasn’t able to look after herself or even walk; now that we know about the cancer i can’t see her getting any better. i was already worried about her health but cancer makes it so so so much worse. she has been sick for a while now but I’m not ready to lose her.
after my parents divorced in 2016 my dad hasn’t dated since, recently he’s been seeing someone new and they officially started dating yesterday. she was there when he told us about the cancer, i understand he needed the support but i barely know her and i found it so uncomfortable she was there. i needed to cry but i just couldn’t in front of her. maybe its wrong of me but i don’t think she should have been there, it isn’t her family.
I’m not well enough to handle this, i dont know what to do
? ????? ??? ??????? (i love you babuhska)