I had a dream where I was in class and for some reason this girl just came to me and stroked my face randomly out of nowhere. It was such a beautiful feeling and then I just woke up. I wonder if it feels this nice irl too. The sad thing is I know this girl from the dream. I think she even liked me but I havent managed to do or tell her anything about it in 7 years and now its gone… I dont even wanna think about all the other opportunities that I wasted in life. I am just sad. Sad coz […]
PatheticMale
I am just wasting all my time and I dont know how to stop. I have no willpower to change. I am the laziest person you ever heard of. And if I wont stop soon I will be facing some serious problems. I am 19 and for as far as I can remember I have been doing nothing with my life but playing computer games (and also getting high in like past 2 years). I am socially isolated. I have a couple friends in my class but I am graduating high school this year so they will all disappear and make new friends and I […]
So today I was crossing the street near a roundabout and I saw a taxi car exit the roundabout without using his flashing light. (Really dick and dangerous move especially in this snowy weather… On top of that it was a fking taxi driver… A guy whos job is to drive and he cant do it fking correctly) So I yelled at him something like : “Use your fking flashing light you fking degenerade”. He screamed something back but I just didnt care and kept going on. Little did I know that he stopped his car and went after me… He then grabbed and pushed […]
So today I started my detox from over 2 years of daily smoking weed. Even this first day was (still is but Im over the worst today I think…) horrible. When I came home I was just doing nothing for hours but thinking whether I should relapse or not. At one point I even loaded my bong but I ended up resisting and not taking the hit.
My goal is to be able to last a week at least but I keep asking myself what is the point of it when after a week I will just return to my old habits again… I really dont know if […]
I have this unrealistic childhood dream which I should have given up years ago but for some reason I cant. Its probably (definitely) just an addiction at this point. It is time to become an adult and give up on childhood fantasies but I just keep prolonging it on and on and on… I cant accept the fact that I failed and move on… but soon there will be no room to procrastinate… The responsible adult life always seemed so unappealing to me but I need to get used to it soon or I am not going to survive… But that means radically completely changing the […]
Today. Today is the day. Today is the first day without weed in about 2 years and a half. Lets see how it goes…
Life without love is so tiring and pointless…
I am just lazy and there is nothing more to it. I am not like you guys… I bet most of you try your hardest in life and feel like shit regardless… But I am not like that. I literally put 0 efford into this life … How could I even expect having some self esteem? I am so naive. Self esteem is a reward for doing something hard and meaningful. But I dont do anything besides smoking weed and playing video games in my moms house like every stereotypical loser. Its no wonder I feel like shit… Its no wonder I […]
This fking gillette ad is fking disgraceful and since it got viral (in a negative way but it doesnt matter, all it matters is attention) it will only mean more sells for them… I swear to god these libtard suckers wont stop untill every man on this planet gets his fking dick cut off. Why is it so wrong to have one? I didnt fking choose it. disgusting
What do you think depression is? I would say it is an emotion. I think people who dont experience it commonly misunderstand it as something like “series of bad thoughts” or just some unhealthy way of thinking. I dont think its about thinking. It is not rational but emotional. It is a feeling not a thought. When Im really fked up at my lowest I dont think. I just stare. I stare and stare and stare at anything (any object rather, I have problems looking on people especially in the eyes). I stare and my mind is empty. No thoughts. Just this feeling. I would […]
I have woken up at 3.15 pm. Again. That means I was sleeping for 14 hours. Damn. Idk why do I sleep that long sometimes. Its probably some defense/coping mechanism of my body. I normally never have dreams coz I smoke so much weed. But when I sleep this long I have them. I dream of having a better life. I dream of having someone that loves me.
Waking up every fking morning to go to school only so then I could wake up to go to work for the rest of my days? What the fak fak for? Why would you do it? For money? What a fking joke. Money is just just a fking illusion to make you not feel like a slave when clearly you are one. I swear if I wont find a job that lets me wake up at least at 9am I am ending this bullshit. Clearly not worth it.
(made by: miles_art)
Do you think humanity is good? Do you think its existence is justified? Would you erase humanity as a whole if you could? Why/why not?
I would say I am pro-human. Sure, the majority of people are ignorant idiots (people can be so dumb sometimes, its really mind boggling) who will take advantage of you whenever possible. Most of people are caught up in their own reality and dont see the bigger picture, they dont even want to see it. And then there are some people that are just straight up pure evil. But I also believe that there is much good in average people too […]
I feel so fking lonely right now. I am craving any form of human contact but at at the same time I am terrified of it. I cant remember the last time when I physically toched someone (cats doesnt count).
I feel lonely even when Im talking to someone coz I never allow them to see my true emotion or personality, just my fake clown mask. The worst part is that I perfectly know that I did all of this to myself. I could have have been happy right now but I am weak and I let my fear and insecurity grow inside me to the point […]
I could have a life I always wanted. And it would be so easy to get it. My whole life has been so fking easy. I know exactly what should I do to be happy. Get rid of my addictions, start socializing and learning. That is pretty much it. Not that hard is it? But I still wont do it. I could have everything I want.
I could go to the most prestigious collage in this country to study physics or math (in fact I could get there even with my current lifestyle but I am gonna drop out soon because of it). Im in last […]
Hey. I just wanted to say merry Christmas to everyone. I hope you all are having a good time with friends or family. I just wanted to say thanks to everyone on this site. You may have noticed that I had been feeling a bit better lately but unfortunately again, I didnt manage to follow my relief of depression with any actions so I can already feel myself slipping back with nothing to grab onto. Nevermind. I dont wanna make this another rant. I just wanted to say I love you all and have a great holiday.
I am sorry dad. I am just done. I cant stand it anymore. I have decided. I no longer wanna see you ever again. Sorry. You are just a stranger to me now. I had to do this long time ago but better now then never. I always regret the time I decided to spend with you. Always. You are just cancer. You do nothing but torture everyone around you. Me, my mom and most importantly your own mom. I cant even believe what you are doing to her. She just cant let you go because you are her child and she is too old […]
This is what is left of my phone after I red the messages from the human garbage that I have to call my father. I am rarely choleric but this time I just couldnt control myself. I had to just fking smash something so I did it. It was not expensive as you can see so I dont mind.
He just wrote to me that he is a “great father” and that my mom just spoiled me. How can anyone be this delusional? Are you fking serious? just fking eat shit you fking asdasdasdasdasdasd.
He told me that I have problems with my arm because god is […]
Seriously, just fk off already. I have had enough of this bullshit.
I was at a dinner with my father about 2 weeks ago. We just talked, he was talking crazy as always but it was alright. We got along normally. But now this fking piece of shit bastard writes endless messages to my mom about how horrible person I am and how she failed to raise me. All that just because I didnt pick up the phone and didnt talk to him for a couple of days. He called me and my mom an emotionless cesspool (the thing where shit goes to when you flush […]