If you were given 3 wishes to use for the purpose making your life better than it is now, what would you wish for? (No wishing for more wishes!)
My own wishes:
1. I wish I was in better physical shape.
2. I wish I never had to worry about money ever again.
3. I wish I could keep the knowledge Ive gained while resetting my life to when I was 14.
Our time on this earth is fleeting. Maybe its time to focus more on what Id like to do before I die, while I still have time to do them.
Id like to say thank you to those who have left advice on my posts lately. Your suggestions have helped greatly.
Maybe things are already like this, but I thought of something. I hold myself to a sort of “take a penny, leave a penny” policy here on SP. I write my own post if I feel it would help me, and after I do, I also make an effort to help 2 other people. This way, the likelyhood that someone posts and receives no human reply from peers goes down. We are all in a similar boat here, and I thought that maybe if more […]
Just for Today, I choose Life.
I choose to take into account every positive thing I have.
I choose to take care of myself, and to make healthy choices for myself, both physically and mentally.
I choose to acknowledge those putting effort into loving me and making my own world a brighter place.
I choose to brighten other people’s worlds, too.
I choose to grow. To do my best. To stand back up. To fight. Just for Today.
Today while I was at work, I got a call. Turns out my apartment building caught on fire somehow. All 3 floors have burned to the ground.
Im at a loss, but somehow Im laughing about it. Maybe its just disbelief/shock. But I dont feel as worried as I probably should.
My cat is safe, my soon to be wife is safe, and thats all I really care about at the moment.
https://www.lansingstatejournal.com/story/news/2022/12/21/meridian-township-fire-apartment-building-knob-hill-okemos-road/69747784007/
Take the time to consider those who put effort into making you feel loved, even when you dont love yourself.
I care about you guys. So, Ive come back to share whats working for me, in hopes that just maybe it will help one of you too.
A while ago I came to the conclusion that, as suicidal as I may have felt, I probably wasnt ever going to kill myself. I couldnt. And it was for the same reason I couldnt build a happy life for myself: I didnt have enough self-discipline. I was really good at making plans in my head, and really bad at actually doing what it takes to make those plans a reality. The thought “Im gonna kill myself” had […]
My whole life I have hated myself. I dont remember why I started hating myself (I suspect childhood shit), but It’s become apparent lately that I have very little practice being self-loving. Lately, I decided I should try to develop more self-love, as long as I have that option before suicide. After all, if Im going to die–one way or another–then I at least want to accomplish loving myself. When I imagine dying, knowing I never loved myself…Im just not happy with that result. I want to defeat that shadowy monster always lurking behind my back, whispering all kinds of negative things into my ears. […]
1. My life isnt over. I still have time to accomplish things.
2. There are people who love me as I am right now, flaws and all. I am not unlovable.
3. Today Ive chosen to intentionally love myself despite waking up with painful feelings, and that means that Im growing and making progress.
Todays goal: Less thinking, More doing.
1. I have a decent job
2. I can learn to love myself again
3. Strong Coffee
4. Long hugs from loved ones
5. Im more resilient than I realized
DISCLAIMER: This post in no way, shape, or form has anything to do with anyone else’s post. This is about me, my own journey, my own decisions, and nothing else. Any similarities in topic/content are purely coincidental.
Today’s goals:
A. Get homework done
B. Go to the gym then take a shower
C. Clean the house
Things Im grateful for:
A. The ability to adapt positive habits
B. My soon to be wife
C. I have time
D. My current state doesnt have to be my final state
In my opinion, there are few things more relaxing than getting really high, taking a nice, long, hot shower, and then having a cup of coffee after. I havent felt very happy lately, but Im grateful at least to have had that small slice of heaven today.
I think I need to relearn how to love myself.
Im so fucking stupid.
I wish I wouldve went to college right out of high school.
I wish I never wouldve tried drugs.
I wish I wouldve taken care of my health.
I wish I never became a felon.
I dont have much to look forward to now except a lifetime of work, go home, get high, sleep, repeat. Decades of saying, “maybe I should kill myself” without ever doing it, and then laying in my deathbed as an old man wishing I wouldnt have waited so long to die.
Im considering blowing it all to Hell. For real. Having daydreams about jumping off the […]
It seems like today Im especially aware of my desire to be liked and acknowledged by other people. Despite my feelings sometimes, what I truly want is for my life to matter. But Im also aware that these desires have been holding me back from living authentically. Its almost like Ive been stuck in a lucid dream and now realizing that the time has come for me to cut the shit and wake up. I have to let go of the desire to be liked, because when Im not liked, I suffer, and then I suffer anyway because I forget who I even am in […]
I didnt realize until last year, in my early 30’s, that I was supposed to be building someone this whole time. I used to think people were the way they came, and that was it. Now I know that the majority of who someone is has to do with what theyve built themselves up to be. Of how much effort theyve put into building their lives up.
I look at my time differently now. Do I choose to play video games or to go workout? Do I work on that book Ive always wanted to write, or do I get high and watch cartoons on […]
Not too long ago I made a post about suspecting something was wrong with me other than depression. Tonight, I figured out what it is:
My ability to empathize with others is damaged. Im so self-absorbed that I dont even see it. So selfish that this ephiphany shocks me to my core.
Something must be wrong with my conceptualization of love.
Lately, Ive been wondering if something else is wrong with me besides depression. I suspect something is wrong with me, and that I dont have complete enough self-awareness to determine what it is. At the same time, I want to be careful that the problem isnt simply that I THINK there’s a problem where there really isnt any. Anyway, I suspect something is wrong because even though I’m intelligent enough to analyze my behavior, I still find myself unintentionally doing things that other people find annoying, antagonistic, rude, etc. And I dont mean to be any of that! It’s a social problem, I think. I […]
1. I have today off of work
2. It’s sunny and crisp instead of raining and muggy
3. Fajitas for dinner tonight
4. I have the ability to question my own thoughts
5. I live with someone I share Love with
6. Journaling has helped me analyze my thoughts, feelings, and actions
Ive been knocked to the ground. Lately, I’ve let my negative thoughts and feelings get the better of me. I’ve been suffering because of it. I’ve been bullying myself inside my head. I’ve been resorting to killing my pain, instead of embracing it or facing it head-on.
Today, I choose to stand back up, dust myself off, and take back control over my thoughts and feelings.
Below is the video that inspired me to recenter myself. Maybe, it will be beneficial for someone else here, too.