I first became suicidal shortly after graduating high school which was 5 years ago. At the time i had the brilliant idea of pushing away friendd and family so that it’ll be easier for me to end my life. I found out that wasnt the case. The more i tried to push my mom away the closer she got. Its like she knew that i was planning on ending it. Thats back then when i was 17, now im 23, 6 years has passed, in those 6 years there was alot substance abuse alot of going to the pyschward, at time spending months. I was naive back then. Thinking that a pill can change everything. So naive i was back then. Now i know. I have a personality disorder, no amount of pills or therapy will change that. I have accept it, which is why i set my day for tomorrow. See yall in the after life-KR
Families are always rising and falling in America, thats the one thing that stuck with me from the movie ‘Departed.’ it seems like ever since I was born my family has been falling. I wish things were different but if i dwell too much on it I’ll just end up trying to OD on pills again. Anxiety and Depression can be a *****. Im trying to cope with it all. And writing it down helps.