I know I am responsible for my own life. But it has become so hard.
I don’t know if it is flashbacks or just sickening fantasies. It makes me sick. It makes me anxious. If it is flashbacks then it is reality and I can’t live with that.
I feel desperate. I need rest.
I am scattering into trillions of pieces. Not coping at all. Why would I have such sickening fantasies. What is wrong with me? But if it is true, what then. I don’t know where to turn. Exhausted