I was thinking about suicide and came to the conclusion that it is also a very “romantic” and passionate thing to do. This may sound awful, but I enjoy reading and hearing about suicides online and in the news. I do feel sorry for their loved ones, but it just inspires me and makes me think if they can do it, so can I and other people who no longer desire life. I try to put myself in their shoes, alone with some gun or rope or at the edge of a cliff ready to dive head first….adrenaline and excitement in their blood knowing life, hopelessness, and suffering are soon to be over. God what a feeling of power…to be able to end one’s life. In the afterlife (if there is one and we somehow retain our memories and personality) I know I’ll look for and give those people a lot of hugs, love, and respect. It takes a lot of nerve to surrender everything and suicide in hopes of peace and freedom. It takes a lot of will. Unless, of course, you’re one of the impulsive types, but still it takes a lot of nerve.
We deserve the right to die with dignity. No adult should feel forced to live against his or her will. If a grownup really wants to die, there should be nothing denying him that right. I don’t want to risk surviving a fatal suicide attempt. I just want to die and be free from Earth. I’m tired of playing in the sandbox. I’m tired of the competition, mysteries, and hopelessness and I deserve a painless, easy death. We’re all going to die anyway and possibly lose everything, so why does killing oneself have to be so hard. I’ve thought long and hard about this and understand the effects of suicide. I’m as prepared as I can be for death, but there’s still the uncertainty that I’ll fail or be in awful pain before I die. It’s not fair.
What would your answer be?
For me, Earth would be a great place to live if all was fair, equal, and just.
There are over seven billion people living on Earth, and I am just one person. I did some math and realized that one person makes up less than 0.0000000143 (one hundred forty-three ten billionths) of a percent of the entire population. One percent of 7 billion is 70 million. That’s 70 million people with names, feelings, personalities, beliefs, moms, dads, and problems. If they all just died, then the world would’ve only just lost one percent of its entire population. I don’t know more than a handful of people. Really just looking at the numbers you can see that a life isn’t worth much. What’s it matter if ONE person dies? There are still billions of phantoms out there living lives we’ll never know anything about. Suppose 1000 people care about me. Even then, 99.999% people still won’t know about my death whenever it happens or care what I did in life. It’s all insignificant… Even the lives of famous people are nothing special. In a hundred years, 99.999% people won’t even think of them.
Why does anything matter…?
A 17 year old named Draven managed to do it and made it on Yahoo news. It’s sad when you think about his final hour of life or even his final day on Earth. Maybe it’s a little inspiring too because if a 17 year old can do it right who can’t? I don’t know how hard his life might have been, but I personally respect him. His loved ones are now going to go through a difficult time, but that’s typical when a death happens. It’s an everyday reality that’s generally unexpected…
Wherever you are now, I wish you the best. Just my 0.02¢.
(And other suicides that happened yesterday.)
And here are 100 reasons to keep going.
A few might be similar to each other, but nothing’s perfect.
You should live:
1. Because you care about the world.
2. There’s a lot to live for.
3. You have dreams to fulfill.
4. Life eventually gets better.
5. You’re afraid of death.
6. Because you can flip your life around.
7. Because people need you to live.
8. Because someone out there loves you.
9. For religion.
10. To help someone worse off than you.
11. To find the perfect job or career.
12. To fall in love.
13. Because there’s a reason we’re on this planet.
14. You want to experience future music, movies, games, technology, cars, buildings etc…
15. You want to make an impact on the world.
16. Food, pleasure, and comfort.
17. To enjoy beauty and art.
18. To mature.
19. To learn more about people.
20. To earn money and rewards.
21. Vacations… To explore and travel the world.
22. To create something of value.
23. Because our bodies are designed, programmed, and hardwired to live.
24. To experience good and bad.
25. To finish the story.
26. To party and have as much fun you can.
27. Because you are responsible for people (and/or pets).
28. You have goals.
29. You enjoy being happy.
30. Because you love doing something (i.e. playing games, exercising, cooking)
31. To find your niche.
32. For your friends.
33. You don’t want to be a ghost yet.
34. Because opportunities are coming your way.
35. For moments that take your breath away.
36. You want to carry out your destiny. (Whatever it may be.)
37. There is someone you want to meet.
38. Because everyone else is living.
39. To share wisdom with a younger generation.
40. To strengthen and help others reach their potential.
42. To experience change.
43 To become a better individual.
44. To prepare for death.
45. Because you’re obligated to live.
46. To surmount an obstacle.
47. You want to do everything on your bucket list.
48. Because you’re supposed to leave your mark on the world.
49. The pleasure of success.
50. You love yourself.
51. You love your life. Even when things aren’t going well.
52. To see if there’ll be world peace.
53. To see how strong you are and how strong you can become.
54. Because life really is good.
55. It’s your duty as a human to live.
56. For thrill and adventure.
57. Because you’re too young to die.
58. For addictions. (The good kind I hope.)
59. To beat your rivals and those who ever doubted you. Show them who’s boss.
60. To make others laugh.
61. Maybe to get revenge on someone.
62. To finish collecting something.
63. Because there’s so much you haven’t done yet.
64. People are believing and counting on you.
65. That feeling after making someone else’s day.
66. For the little things (driving, getting some air, walks on the beach, grocery shopping, etc…)
67. To recover.
68. Because it’s not time to die yet.
69. You want to set an example.
70. Because no one else can breathe for you.
71. Because life is short.
72. To make more memories.
73. To prove your worth as an individual.
74. Because you want to enjoy and make the most of your life.
75. To serve your country.
76. To give love and hope.
77. Because you can!
78. To be better than you were yesterday.
79. Because there’s no one else like you in the world.
80. Because you belong here.
81. Because the world is your oyster.
82. Because your parents and guardians wanted you live.
83. To leave behind a legacy.
84. Because you want to figure out what life is all about.
85. You like a challenge.
86. Because you are unimaginably amazing.
87. Because you only get one life. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.
88. You want to contribute to society.
89. To pursue happiness. And love.
90. Because you’re important.
91. For moments that make you laugh.
92. Because you have boundless potential.
93. You don’t need a reason to live.
94. To give what you owe to the world, a god, or an individual.
95. Why not live?
96. Because you’re someone people would look up to.
97. You’re supposed to live. That’s why you have a life.
98. Because you’re loved even when it seems like you’re not.
99. Because there’s no logical reason to kill yourself.
100. You don’t want to die.
- Because there’s always something or someone worth fighting for.
Feel free to share this, but don’t forget to mention me…
See, I can come up with 100 reasons NOT to live.
- Life is too demanding for you.
- Because there’s nothing more you want from life.
- Because there’s nothing really significant you can do for the world.
- No more having to prove you’re good enough for people.
- No more having to lie and pretend.
- No more being treated unfairly.
- No more holding the weight of the world on your shoulders.
- You’re tired of being judged.
- No more being ordered around by people.
- No more competition.
- No more debt. You actually won’t need money anymore.
- Because nothing can fix your problems. Not you, not therapy, or Waldo.
- Because you’re going to die anyway. It might as well be on your terms.
- Because no one really needs you.
- No more being used.
- No more being disappointed in yourself and others.
- You will never be jealous again.
- No more suffering at the hands of others.
- …Because you’ll be away from it all.
- No more wondering why you should live.
- No more obligations.
- No more feeling ashamed of yourself.
- No more feeling like you have to impress or please people.
- No more being in awkward or uncomfortable situations.
- Because you’re lost. Profoundly.
- You don’t fit in anywhere.
- No more difficult decisions.
- No more disappointing people.
- No more being a push-over.
- No more secrets.
- No more worrying what people think of you.
- No more struggling with things.
- Because there’s nothing you’re really good at; you’re tired of being average at best.
- You want to know whether a god exists.
- You’re ready to experience the afterlife, if there is one.
- No more feeling burnt out.
- No more dealing with sadness and despair.
- No more trouble.
- Because you don’t know how to make and keep friends for some reason.
- No more dealing with favoritism, prejudice, and stereotypes.
- No more feeling like you’re part of some cosmic experiment.
- No more pressure to obtain success.
- You wanted to end it over a year ago.
- Because you can’t think of any good reason(s) to live.
- No more worrying about the future.
- No more having to put up with stupidity.
- Because drugs, antidepressants, and/or addictions shouldn’t inspire someone to live.
- You don’t want to get old.
- You don’t want to fail at anything anymore.
- No, you’re not giving up, you’re letting go of a world that doesn’t give a damn about you.
- You won’t have to deal with bigotry anymore.
- Because living (or continuing to live) the life you have is absurd.
- No more wishing you were someone else.
- No more being bothered by shallow, ignorant, or immature people.
- No more deadlines.
- Because the world doesn’t need you. You’re just 1 of 7,000,000,000+ people.
- No more sadness and tears.
- Because you have an awful past and a bleak future.
- You’ll never be a burden on anyone ever again.
- No more tests, be they academic, social, or whatever.
- No more needing anything like food, water, or shelter.
- No more wondering what people say behind your back.
- You’re tired of feeling inferior to others.
- You’re tired of feeling numb and empty.
- You’re tired of acting like you’re fine when you’re not. It’s like everybody expects you to be “fine.”
- No more being a victim.
- No more dilemmas.
- No more saying the wrong things to people.
- No more having a hard time getting people to understand you.
- No more being betrayed.
- So long government and your many issues.
- No more having to hurt people’s feelings.
- No more having to adapt to uncomfortable situations.
- No more frustration.
- Because you’re all out of options.
- No more waiting for the promotion, for love, for friendship, for someone to change, etc…
- No more having to “put up” with people.
- You won’t need luck anymore.
- Because life doesn’t interest, stimulate, or excite you anymore.
- No more depression.
- No more getting your hopes up and then being let down.
- No more being told or feeling like you’re not good enough.
- Because no one will remember you 100 years after you’re dead anyway.
- Neither the world nor the universe would shed a tear when you go.
- No more having to deal with foolishness.
- Because you realize that nothing’s worth it anymore.
- No more depending on people, on luck and chance, or on fate.
- No more mistakes and setbacks.
- Because there is no point to life; no finish line.
- No more giving people your heart and having them stomp on it.
- You want to be with deceased loved ones.
- Because regardless what anyone says, life will never be important to you.
- You won’t suffer anymore, at least in this life you won’t.
- You didn’t sign up for life or request to be born
- Because Earth isn’t the place for someone like you.
- Life discriminates. It makes people weak and others strong. It makes people rich and others poor. It makes people kind and others hateful.
- It would cost too much to turn your life around: too much time, money, and energy.
- You’re tired of giving it all and receiving little or nothing in return.
- Because next to no one can relate to what you’re going through.
- You just don’t want to live anymore.
- Maybe because the love you desperately need is impossible to find, replace, or reobtain.
So this is my letter… I don’t know when exactly I’m going to do it, but hopefully by next spring. PLEASE help me proofread this! I want to make sure my relatives understand my decision and can go on without me. I’m 21.
I know this will hurt you for as long as you live. I don’t know what to say to ease the pain I’m going to cause, but I know that ‘sorry’ changes little. Though I will tell you why I did this, I know you’ll still be overwhelmed, confused, and hurt. Everything that was going through my head before I did this can be found in the Notes and Momento apps on my iPod if you’re interested. Everyone will probably think that this was an irrational decision done on impulse, but it wasn’t. There was a lot of thought put behind it, and there are hundreds of things I’m going to miss and not experience. But just so you know upfront, college, social anxiety, depression, and lack of self-esteem and meaning are the primary reasons why I did it.
The saddest part about dying, besides leaving everyone you love, is that people forget you. After some number of years, my name will be forgotten and I’ll be nothing. Being that I hate my life here, I actually look forward to oblivion. It’s one of the few things I know is going to happen to me and most people. I also see no point in sustaining a body I don’t like and didn’t ask for only to be forgotten.
I’m not going to lie: I have a ton a problems, including being terrified of death. I’m especially terrified of the moment I start to kill myself. But I’m also kind of happy that the misery I endured to this point will soon come to an end, at least I hope.
I’ve had enough of life. It’s not for everyone, and nor is college if that’s somehow relevant. I also regret wasting your and dad’s time and money. I have tried my best to live for you and held out as long as I could, but I’m tired. I give up trying to fix myself and my life. They’re both lost causes. If you’re wondering why I isolated myself from everyone, it’s because I knew I would end up committing suicide and didn’t want to hurt any more people than I had to. No matter what, I probably still would have done this within 10 years. I hate how oppressing it is here. Please take care of my piano and put the guitar in the case when I’m gone. I really loved music, especially piano…They gave my life meaning and happiness, and I regret leaving them behind.
Also, if by some chance I wind up alive in some undesirable condition remember that I’ve had enough of life. I just want to make it clear that I no longer want to live. Please pull the plug if by some stupid chance I survive unable to function like normal. I don’t care what you do with my body after it is dead. Donate it to science if you want, cremate it, but understand that if I survive I will not be convinced to live, and I am sorry if that makes me a selfish coward, but I cannot do this anymore. I am done; I lack the strength to continue. When people ask why I killed myself, you can just say I was sad.
Again I really hate myself for hurting you like this, but there was no other way. Sometimes giving up is the only solution to a problem. I can’t accept my body, my poor luck, the insults (i.e being an innocent, good person who’s suffered injustice after injustice his entire life), the bleak future, and not knowing why I exist anymore. Also no one wants me I think. I’m sorry you gave birth to me, I’m sorry I kept quiet about all this, and I’m sorry I couldn’t be more strong, but I won’t continue to torture my soul by living anymore. I beg you to forgive me, but more importantly, to understand.
Bye mom, dad, B, J. L. All of you were a huge part of my life. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you.
PS. Buy a pet.
I’m not sure where to start with this, so I’ll just pick a place and begin. Currently I don’t have any friends or anyone to talk to. I don’t want to get attached to anyone because if I do decide to go through with suicide, then it’ll just be another person I hurt.
I’m 21 and over the last five years, my life has been nothing but oppression. High school was hell. I could not fit in with anyone and was occasionally picked on because of my unnaturally high voice for a guy. I basically isolated myself from everyone since I was ashamed of my voice. Online games were how escaped from everything. At home, my family accepted me, but I kept to myself most of the time and never talked much about my day. Though it was not good, my life was at least manageable at the time. And then I graduated.
I thought college would be where I would find myself and truly begin to live. I was wrong. Horribly wrong. Because I isolated myself, I lacked the necessary social skills to bond with my roommates. They were nothing like me. They talked more fluently, had a good sense of humor, and weren’t as serious as I. At the time, I lived on campus about an hour away from home. I did everything I could to avoid my roommates. The library was where I went to after class. It was my sanctuary. I stayed there for hours sometimes until closing time, doing nothing really. The reason I did this was because I feared my roommates would reject me. I just knew they would because of how weird I was. Oh and by the way I’m gay. I hated when it came time for bed and I had to go in and see them. It was extremely awkward. My second semester, I slept outside the dorm in an uncomfortable chair. But when I could, I had my aunt take me home at night and back to college the next morning. I owe her so much.
I experienced true loneliness my first year of college. But I accepted it.
Being alone meant no one could hurt me. Being alone meant I couldn’t hurt anyone. Another thing that happened was that I lost my faith. I didn’t see the point in worshiping a god (if one even exists) that allows innocent, good people to suffer. Basically, the whole concept of religion started to make no sense to me. So I started to view life as meaningless. I couldn’t find a reason to live, and I still can’t. Sure life offers a lot of pleasing things such as food, movies, games, and music, but it doesn’t offer an ounce of meaning. Why the hell are we on this planet? How did we get here? What’s the truth?
So I had a lot of time on my hands to ponder these questions. I searched and searched for answers but only came up with more unanswerable questions. Meanwhile my grades slipped. I was just barely getting by. I told my mom and sister I wanted to end it all at the end of my third semester. I told them that I had lost my scholarship and that I wanted to take a semester off to “recover.” I did nothing but bum that semester. So after six months, I transferred to a new school and became the music major I am now– much to my parents’ displeasure. The first year as a music major was okay. I commuted to class, but still couldn’t make progress socially. I didn’t know how to interact with people, and I still don’t. I don’t like myself (I actually wish I were someone else). I hate my voice, and I’m pretty much still an outcast. I’m not ugly, I’m just tired of being me.
I’m at the point now where I just don’t care about anything. Everything’s meaningless. I’m insignificant, just like everybody else. If I died tomorrow from a heart attack (cross your fingers), the universe wouldn’t shed a tear. I might be able to deal with the meaningless of everything if I just had someone to love, but I don’t think any guy wants me like that, and I don’t have the desire to go looking for one. I mean why bother? Happiness? Happiness is just an emotion. Why do I need emotions? What do I gain from being in a relationship? No matter what, I’ll just end up losing the guy and back at square one.
Right now, the professors are asking too much of me. I don’t want to disappoint them, but I seriously don’t want to do what they’re asking of me. I don’t see the point. People tell me to go out and have fun, but I’m just not interested in anything. All I know for sure is that I’m going to die and be forgotten among the other billions of dead people. So what’s the point in living if this is our fate? Now I love my family and playing music, but I’m tired of everything and have had enough of life. Life is a sandbox, and I’ve outgrown it. I’m sick of being in my body, and I didn’t ask for life. I know I’ll miss a lot of things (food, music, games especially), but oh well. I’ll have to part with them one day, so…
I finished writing my letter. I don’t know when I’ll try to off myself. I’m real scared of death because I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. I am trying to learn how to lucid dream so that I can practice…doing it, but I’m not having much success with that. Sometimes I wish someone would just come along and shoot me. I don’t want to hurt myself (or anyone for that matter), I just want out of life. I’ve outgrown it…