do you guys think about ending it all the time to because it’s all I ever think about.
Anyways You guys saw my SP from a few days ago so you understand
Now after everything and what is happening the bills, the debt, the loneliness, the friends who ignored and left me, Witnessing couples and others having it all, being single my whole life yup I’m 26 and I have never had a girlfriend in my life to experience love or any relationship with, living through my father and his debts along with my mom who only talks to me when she needs something like money fuckin money MORTGAGE MORTGAGE what an anxiety alert !!!
and so finally it comes here in my early teens I was put to work in the summer I’ve been bullied I’ve been emotionally abused by my dads lextures every night being told while banging “YOU ARE SHIT YOU ARE NOBODY” over and over despite working on summers and giving him money to help pay the mortgage on the house shoot and it was always while we were watching a basketball game which is why today I can’t watch it nomore even with my little brother I’m too traumatized. I never was suicidal until I was 17 when my dad passed because I saw that life I was going to have. but now it’s gotten me. I attempted suicide quite often over these years which was a lost cause. I cut sometimes like I did 3 years ago but now I’m 26 I’m older and for me to still be this way says a lot about it thanks to my family, and that house I hope it was worth it because this is all I think about now.