Okay, I am being deadly serious now. I cannot be happy living the way I am now, I’m looking for a person(s) who live in the UK who do not want to be a part of this system anymore. We will pack up our belongings and journey, we will just walk and survive. We can live in the woods and build our own shelter or move from hostel to hostel we could hunt for our own food and live life one day at a time. I am a 19 year old male and do not want my life to be about getting up and slaving away for money and living in the same house in the same town, its tedious and monotonous and I cant continue my life like this, if anyones interested just leave me your email.
Life…oh how I loved the innocence of being a child.
I went through the ages of 5-16 a happy “person” (I’ll explain why I put quotes around the word person a little later) primary and secondary school were great, I had lot’s of friends and a healthy social life and was quite the extrovert character. Shortly after I left secondary school things went sour, for some reason my friends just suddenly stopped hanging out with me and decided to spread vicious rumors about me to everyone, I thought to myself “Fuck ’em” and decided to keep away, this lead to me losing contact with everybody I knew and becoming a recluse.
My days since then have been spent at home and alone in front of the computer, I started smoking cannabis with my Dad around that time as he knew I used to smoke it anyway while I was out with friends, I smoked it all day everyday between the ages of 16-18 to cure the boredom, also I like to experience altered states of consciousness.
Now, 2 years sat in front of a computer while high has it’s good and bad points, the good points were that I became very interested in researching many different things that I would never of contemplated while being the extrovert person I was before, bad points are obvious, I became withdrawn from everybody and became sort of afraid of social situations.
So here I am, age 19, I don’t have a job, a social life or a girlfriend, and you know what? I don’t feel the NEED to seek these things, which is bad as I cannot fit into society and be “normal”. I’ll explain more about why I used quotation marks around the word person now. Since I was born I have been fed the illusion that I am a separate entity to everything and everyone else in this universe, that I am this “Person” with my name, my race, my age and other unimportant things. My understanding is that I am everything that is, was and ever will be, separateness is an illusion, I am pure infinite consciousnessÂ having an experience. I have been imprisoned into mind when I should be functioning on higher levels of consciousness, constantly I am being told I AM “insert my name here” and that I am an individual, when deep down I KNOW that we’re all one, we are infinite love all connected to one another.
Now you may be thinking “whats any of this got to do with feeling suicidal”, I’ll tell you.
After coming to the understanding I have come to, 21st century life is all about imprisoning me into ‘MIND’. Everyday I’m being pressured into finding work, socializing with other people, constantly battling with time, everyday having new labels thrown at me telling me I AM such and such, what my name is, what my DOB is, what my race is, what my age is, what my job title is, what my personality is, when NONE OF IT MATTERS, I am infinity. So now I look ahead at my life, what do I have in store, I’m gonna have to work a 9-5 job for the rest of my life earning pieces of paper that hold no value to me which enables me to go out to buy products which are supposed to make me happy in some way and to also pay bills for fossil fuels we shouldn’t even be using in the 21st century as ‘Free energy’ was found a loooong time ago (google Nikola Tesla) and the only reason we don’t have it is so the fuel companies can continue earning money off us and to keep us in a state of servitude.
Everything in the universe is consciousness. Space and time in all planes of reality are only projections within universal consciousness. There really is no here or there for everything is at one place where Mind is. Mind does not move at all. Mind simply Is. Mind is everywhere yet nowhere. Mind is nowhere but Here, Now. We are all existing together as a singularity in one place and time. Everything is one, Here and Now.
Several events in different places that are moving in synchronization may actually be the movements of the same event. Imagine a fighter jet flying in the sky, with several video cameras recording its movements from different angles. Each recording is displayed on different screens. When the fighter jet displayed on one screen turns or moves in a different direction, all other fighter jets in the other screens simultaneously move in a correlated manner.
Every day experience is a projected reality where things only appear to be separated in time and space. In a deeper reality, we are all members of the same body. When one part of the body moves, every other part is instantly affected. Separation is an illusion. There is a dimension of reality where we are all inseparably one. When we feel love in any form, it has the effect of beginning to shatter that illusion.
When two electrons collide, they exchange energy and information with each other. From then onwards, no matter where one electron is, you will be able to tell the location and momentum of the other. When a change occurs in one electron, it will immediately be reflected in the other. You are always able to know in one, what is going on in the other. When you cause change in one, you cause change in the other. We exchange portions of our energy fields with each other when we come into contact, therefore we remain inseparably connected at all times.
Imagine the universe is an ocean and each of us is a wave in that ocean. The wave and the ocean are the same. We are the universe localized in a single point in spacetime. The soul has two parts. It is both local and nonlocal. Part of you is localized and part of you is nonlocal, and connected to everything. You are the universe, located in your body. Not all your thoughts, wishes and desires are actually your thoughts, wishes and desires. Part of them are the very intentions of the universe.
The spirit in me is the same as the spirit in you, and the spirit in all beings. Enlightenment is the realization that you are the universal spirit observing from a particular point of view. Each of us is the universal spirit projecting a particular point of view. My self is inseparable from all that exists, just as your self is inseparable from all that exists. You are an aspect of infinite intelligence, and infinite intelligence is the source of all that exist. Therefore you are the source of all that exist and you create your own experience. Everything is possible because everything exists within you. The same unbounded potential of the infinite spirit also resides in each and every one of us.
Your soul is the reflection of all souls. You are the Other. Without the other, you would not exist. You are defined by your relationships with others. You would need to describe the whole universe in order to define a single person. Therefore every single person is the whole universe. Your soul is both personal and universal at the same time. Everyone is a reflection of yourself. You are in a hall of mirrors where every reflection of yourself appears different. Others you admire reflect the qualities you most cherish in yourself. Others you detest reflect the qualities you most deny in yourself. Each person you see is a different version of you.
All the cells in your body start from just one cell. That one cell in the womb is fertilized, grows and divides into two. The two cells grow and divide into four. This process happens fifty times until there are one hundred thousand billion cells in your body. Thatâ€™s where the replication stops. Just as a single cell in the womb differentiates into brain cells, nerve cells and retinal cells, and through them give us experience of the world, so does the single spirit differentiates into all observers and observations, inner world and outer world.
The whole universe is one reality which is pure consciousness. Pure consciousness is absolute existence. In the beginning the One differentiated into the many. The One entered into the many and became the Self of each. The being within everything is the One. When you merge with this nonlocal self, you become one with the Self of all that exist. The One is the Higher Self of all. You are the One.
So to sum it up, my life ahead consists of being a slave, to be another cog that helps the well oiled machine function correctly, I am forced to socialize and communicate with people who do not understand the concepts I am talking about and think life is about getting drunk at the weekend and having meaningless sex (Not everyone is an idiot I know, but it’s safe to say the majority of people are)Â I do not want to be a prisoner ofÂ ‘Mind’ I want to return to the source which is free from mind, and the source which is infinite knowledge, infinite love, infinite consciousness is free from body and mind, which means one thing..
I went off on tangents a lot here, and I’m not even sure if this is going to make sense to anyone out there, it makes sense to me, perfect sense.
I would start with a bit of information about me (age, interests, blah blah blah) but that is just ego and unimportant, lets get to the reason i’m feeling this way.
I feel so caged and alone, i have no friends, my only family member is my dad, i have no love interest in my life as i seem to always push most females away with my “clingyness” but people just won’t grasp that all I want is to be loved and cared for, if I meet a girl I like I treat them like a princess, like they are the only thing on this planet… and that is rarely reciprocated which hurts…alot and i end up being avoided and eventually told to fuckoff, everyday i sit in front of this computer knowing nobody out there is thinking about me or that loves me.
My contact list on my mobile is literally empty, i have nobody to call when i’m feeling low, i have never done the whole “cutting yourself” routine as that is subconsciously just attention seeking.
Now people might say “get off your ass and get a job, it will keep your mind active and help you meet new people” now yes i understand where you are coming from if you want to suggest that BUT i CANNOT find happiness in slavery, i do not want to work 9 to 5 every single day of my fucking life earning pieces of paper to spend on BULLSHIT products i don’t want or NEED and to also be shafted with bills WE SHOULD NOT FUCKING BE PAYING AS WE SHOULD BE RUNNING ON FREE ENERGY BY NOW, do some research on
Nikola Tesla and you will understand what i mean, is that all 21st century life is about? Work, sleep, work, sleep and then get a pat on the back and some pieces of paper to go out and spend on crap? This is NOT freedom, i CANNOT be happy if I am never free, i swear i’d be happier living in the jungle with a tribe living off the land and TRUELY being free.
Ugh, i won’t go into to much detail about how we are being systematically fucked over by the powers that be, if only i had that someone in my life to make it worth living i just wanna be held and cared for and to be told i’m loved, I’ve tried dating sites…the majority of women there have no brains whatsoever with 2 line profiles and only care about themselves and maybe a lay..and then i ponder to myself “what will i do when my dad dies?” i will TRUELY be alone, we live in a council house too so nothing belongs to me, i will have nobody and nothing, he is the only reason I haven’t killed myself already even though we barely communicate.
Please…get me out of this 3 dimensional prison….NOW.