I wrote an essay on how to be happy and remain in that state of mind no matter the situations in your life. It basically focuses in changing your mental process. i believe that if we learn how to control our thoughts, we can control our emotions and actions. For example, if you catch yourself having bad thoughts, learn how to replace them by good thoughts. Its a long process but it can help you if you put effort into it and continue to practice it with patience and belief. Some of us have gone through the worst things in life, in fact, depression and suicidal tendencies themselves are one of the worst things a person can endure. BUT it is possible to overcome them.. situations that leave you hopeless.. turn them around and use them as learning experiences or to inspire people who are struggling in life as well. We can all overcome this, believe me. Its in the power of our hands even if we are at the lowest of the lowest. Its a day to day process. Achieve to get to bed at night and wake up to face a new day with strength. WE ALL HAVE STRENGTH. THE FACT THAT YOU ARE READING THIS RIGHT NOW MEANS THAT YOU ARE STRONG. I wish i could be there for every single one of you, so if you want to talk i will always reply to you at Jazminbaltierra@yahoo.com please reach out. i sound as if i dont know what depression is like… but the fact is that i struggle to make it to bed every day that passes by.. but i make it.. and that … what we all go through.. symbolizes hope that we can make it out of this cycle. I love you all.
searching for hope
Depression/suicidal topics seem to be a taboo maybe worldwide. So there’s a lot of people that don’t understand the difference between temporary sadness and depression. Depression is considered a disorder that should requiere professional help. Sadness may lead to depression so it should be a serious matter as well. But let’s be serious now depression is when it lasts longer than two weeks. Some ppl can come out of it easily by solving their situation that is making them depressed. Don’t rely on good things happening to you for happiness bc that is temporary happiness. Materialistic happiness is also temporary. So how do you find real happiness? By being satisfied with your life and yourself. Did you know that the richest ppl in the world have depression? Happiness is choice to work on. So if you have depression, seek mental health services. Medications, therapy, group counseling, that can all help. BUT what really matters is that YOU put effort into getting better. It is tiring and stressful, but don’t give in. KEEP ON GOING. EVERYONE HAS THE POTENTIAL WITH WILLPOWER. I have depression and I was close to getting inpatient treatment bc I became obsessed w wanting to end my life. But my insurence didn’t cover it so they sent me to a place where it would be cheap or even FREE. Then my sister got angry with me n started telling me really mean stuff. Understand that your loved ones may react in certain ways because they love you and are scared. They don’t know how to handle a loved one who wants to die. Listen to that! Its scary for people. And that’s why its a taboo subject. However, you have all the power in your hands to take action against depression. You CAN overcome it. Its a day to day process. I wish I had the support to get help, but I don’t and I’m 17. I’m going crazy with these thoughts but I’m still holding on. I have a little bit left to turn 18. I will then seek help and use it to my full advantage bc ik I need the help. Its okay to be human and need help. Please take positive actions. Within time, you will see improvement. Just keep on going. Relapses are natural but get back up. Thank you for reading. I love you all.
I used this website for a bit and it helped some to communicate with people who can understand the struggle of depression. i think i managed to be okay for two years.. but i had a downfall and im not really sure what exactly caused it but the point is.. im back and personally it got way worse.. i had mentioned how i had tried taking my life but i dont remember ever doing some of the things i have done in the past months.. almost a year already that i guess “the cycle” came back. ive actually reached out to professionals and i went to a mental hospital n they wanted me to have the inpatient treatment but my insurance didnt cover it. however, my family doesnt quite believe this is a serious problem.. i think they dont believe in mental illness if thats the right term.. kinda find it offensive but hey its what we understand it to be that matters. so now i have no other option but to deal with it on my own with the exception of my schools counselor and a social worker.. my friends are supportive as well but i feel like they get tired of hearing the same stuff over and over. i started self-harming again but this time to prevent myself from committing the deed.. then it became a habit/addiction for me and now i have to fight the urges of self-harming and the â€œbig urge.â€ ive been close to actually doing.. closer than i ever thought i would be but im still here… because i cant leave behind the ppl who care abt me damaged for the rest of their lives. AND also bc im hoping to overcome this and pursue a career in the psychology field to help people with this.. i understand what its like and i want to be proof that it can be overcomed. i want everyone who is reading this to know that we can all and we WILL overcome depression/suicidal tendencies. its a learning experience but just take it one step at a time. its hard n we have moments.. sometimes very often where we feel like .. why fight it.. but if we can just stay strong as we are.. because we are fighting basically withing ourselves.. in our minds.. and that to me is being strong. relapses n episodes r part of this struggle but what matters is to keep on going. i will continue to write on here to speak with yall if i need someone or if yall need someone to talk to. i wish i could magically make depression disappear from life bc no one deserves to go through this. I love every single one of yall. Heres my email : email@example.com if yall wish to email me.. i will reply within 24 hours.. most likely as soon as i get it unless im in school or without wifi. oh and im 17 almost turning 18. when that happens i will seek prof. help again.. but now w/o the need of parents being there. we all just need to hang on to life, for ourselves. and our loved ones. take care.
its been a long while since ive touched this site, but here i find myself again in a bad way. i feel like trash in many ways.. with who n how i am n how i look. it hurts bc i know its wrong n im only harming myself. i hope to never wake up again but im still here. i am capable of taking my life away in so many ways. but there goes my conscience telling me that ill hurt my family, ill ruin their happiness, ill disappoint them, ill mess everything up n ill leave them with guilt. but i find no desire within myself to stay alive. well i do have dreams, but i feel that i wont reach them bc ppl think they r unrealistic n it brings me down. i feel disgusted with my weight, i have trouble choosing an outfit for the day. i had cut my hair short, it makes me feel ugly sometimes. im different from everyone, everyone views me as a freak at school, n in my family i could feel so lost sometimes even if my sisters n cousins have the same likings n stuff as me, i still feel like i dont belong sometimes. the only way i could feel 100% happy is by going to rock concerts n that doesnt happen very often. the day a concert never comes to an end will be then when i can be numb.. no feelings of pain. my cousin cut herself again n it was for a boy.. i had told her that nothing n no one is worth for her tears n pain n that for her not to harm herself, but yesterday i found out she did. i talked to her with empathy. told her not to do it again for those reason and that one day if she keeps on doing it, shell cut a vein, next thing shell be dead. n ill be after her. but here i am so close to cutting so close to deciding to hang myself. i can help others but not myself. :C
i don’t know what to do anymore. i am just a dead person walking this earth that doesn’t need me.i just want to break n scream. but here i am silent in my own tears. ive tried talking with my sisters, but it doesnt help me. sometimes i even wish for us to crash n for me to die n they’ll b ok with no injuries. i can’t find a way to be truly happy with myself. i have fun sometimes, but my pain is still there. i dont know what to do, i feel so lost. i wish i had someone that would care n listen n stop asking what is wrong with me… there r so many things wrong with me.. thank you for reminding me.. how about “what causes ur pain?” or “talk to me and tell me what hurts you” i wish i had someone who could just hug me n hold me next to their heart n let me tear away until im ready to talk, but i don’t and it truly hurts.
UM, HI. ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE IVE GOTTEN BACK ON HER. BUT I JUST WANTED TO LET YA KNOW THAT I CREATED A WEBSITE FOR SUICIDE. BASICALLY THE PURPOSE OF IT IS FOR US TO COMMUNICATE.. POST STUFF.. HELP EACH OTHER. IF YALL WOULD LIKE TO VISIT IT AND JOIN GO TO.. http://iwillgiveyouhopetolivefor.webs.com/
I WILL WRITE BACK AS I HAVE DONE ON HERE… YOU CAN SEND ME N OTHERS MESSAGES.. I WROTE INFO THAT I WOULD LIKE YA TO READ. NOTE: I HAVE TO MAKE SOME CHANGES.. I SAY MY WEB HAS ME AS A MALE.. HAHA. AND I MADE ERRORS N STUFF, BUT I REALLY HOPE THAT MY WEB WILL HELP YA. SIGN UP IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO. 🙂
hi, im back. i knew i wasn’t fine. i knew the next time something simple would happen (like a little argument with my family)i would break down. i ma at the moment. i literally would be cutting if it weren’t that im trying to type up my feelings before i actually do something that i know will kill me. i see no reason to stay alive. no one cares. dont try saying that you care because ive heard it and it doesnt help. even if i know you truly care. anyone has the ability to bring me down. i fel sick, emotionally sick. i dont need life. i rather bee free, in a beautiful place called heaven. i fear it. i fear that i am going to achieve suicide, its been too many times. and ive had it with my life. i love helping yall out. but no one can help me. im dead already, ive lost myself. i try to find myself, but i just cant. its all a fake smile and happiness. do i even know how happiness feels any longer? im alone i have no one that is trying to help me. i know people notice that i need help, but they do nothing. maybe because i am no one.im tired of hoping to get better. nothing helps. you dont know how much i really want to hang myself right now. im tired of all the bullshit. its killing me. i feel even worse. i hear of “SAE22” no more. i told her if she kills herself, she will kill me too. not hearing from her is killing me already even more. i have no more reason to live. i failed her. my words were not good enough for her. i could have saved her, but i feel i failed her instead. even if i know it was her choice. and i hope she is fine. hopefully she is still alive. how much i wish i had a hug. but instead i have loneliness with me.
hey, ive been waiting anxious to see a post from you will come up… at least it will be a sign that you are still alive. i hope you are okay. i’m tearing up. you don’t know the way i’m feeling right now. ill still be waiting for your response. FUCK THE ASS HOLES WHO TOLD YOU TO GO DIE ALREADY!
well, i guess i’ve been doing better. i’m not sure. nothing has happened lately to make me sad, but when it does, i know ill be worse. i feel that im blocking my feelings at the moment, but i know im not happy. im stuck in between. i feel blank. but i hate feeling blank because it makes me feel confused. school stresses me out a lot. all these projects that i have to work on are not helping. i feel like ive lost myself… i feel boring. it sucks. im just living with the same old routine everyday… waking up at 5am, going to school, waiting for the school day to end, arriving at home, doing homework, having no time for myself, sometimes i fall asleep as soon as i get here. then i go to sleep at 11- the earliest. it all repeats over and over again. i feel frustrated with myself n my life. i just feel like breaking my head with the floor or window. i have anxiety and it is getting me angry with myself. and my friend does no help… she has to say “today is a crappy day” or she talks about stuff that irritates me… every day. i know it sounds mean, but she is not in depression, she just says that all the time bc she has nothing else to talk about and sometimes ruins my happy moments by saying comments like that, and when im actually sad or depressed, she doesn’t act like a friend… she thinks i want to be left alone just because that’s the way she feels when she is down. i told her, but aghh! and ive been acting so aloof lately, my sisters tell me to smile and be happy, i just ignore it… because i cant, it hurts, it makes me want to cry. and after reading what i wrote, i guess im not doing better, i let it all out.
sometimes we need distractions- they can save us from an amount of time that we spend thinking about everything and end up more depressed.
so i wanted to give some ideas. only for good intentions(: and i hope no one gets offended by some of them or anything like that.
*turning to God(:
*writing happy poetry
*watch a movie
*read a book
*search interesting stuff in the internet like… new creatures found, news about the world, planets, jokes, games, videos of tours around the world, nature, pix of the sky, space, stars, moon, planet, nature, flowers.
*then try to draw them?
*hug the people you love and tell them how much they mean to you
*sleep? since its late… 😉
*play an instrument
*spend time with your pet(s)
*talk with someone positive
*play video games
*read comic book
*invent a new twitch? lol jk
*take a bath? (:
*umm experiment with make up or your hair or clothing and take pictures bc u r beautiful
*smile bc u r still alive(:
*anything you enjoy… or always thought abt but never tried it and would like to try it (positive)
i hope this helps(: or at least got you out of your thoughts, even if you hate my post thingy. (:
hello, im 15 years old. i search for help to have hope. there are many things that bother me. every time i get upset or someone i know gets mad at me and argues everything comes down on me. i hold grudges i suppose you could say, but not with anger, only pain. my pain stems from elementary school where a lot of people would laugh at me and be mean because i was chunky, short, and ugly while every one else was skinny and in good health. they also made fun of me because of my mexican accent. moreover, when i was five, i started to try and learn to speak english, but my teenage sisters (at that time) would make fun of me, and thats where everything started.the kids in school would tell me stuff like “learn how to talk english.” it hurt me really bad. what hurts even more is that to this day i am self conscience because of all those little things, i let them lower my self esteem, and you might be thinking “they were only little kids” but it continued onto my teenage years. people stare at me a lot and the only thought that goes through my mind is “i want to hide, they are judging me and how i look.” i hate presenting my work in class or reading out loud because that is all i have in my head. i know i am supposed to let go of this, many have told me as well, but i can’t seem to be able to do that. i lack confidence and i hate myself for letting them do this to me. i watched my sisters grow up with my dad taking us out to fun places, but as they got older, the problems started to increase which meant the fun time decreased. i always watched them have fun between themselves, since i was too young, and hoped that when i get to live their age iwant to have fun like them and have childhood memories. but instead i watched my sisters rebel against my father, i watched them fight, scream, hurt each other, i watched my mom get beaten by my dad sometimes. to this day all i could wish for and all i focus my life into is forming memories with my family, but its hard b/c my parents always say no to our invitations, even to restaurants. however, when it comes to my oldest sister, they are there as fast as they can, when she was the one who hurt my dad the most, and also wasted his thousands of money he had saved up from all that hard work. he now has $1,000 in his bank. it gives me pressure, i want to be older already so i can work and help him out. i watch my parents get older and older every year. it scares me to think that one day i will have to let go of them. i have always been a very sentimental person and it is easy for me to fall into deep depression. i have lost the talkative side of me and my friends as well. i feel alone. i have a few friends in school. my “old best friend” and i stopped talking these past few months, it hurt because she was the only one i had, even if i knew she would sometimes hurt me. we barely started talking, it is not the same. i have lost myself, the happy person i was. many have noticed. yet no one knows why. i have talked to my close ones about this, but they say “you’ll get over it/ we lived through those moments too/ you’ll grow out of it” but what happens if i dont. i have attempted suicide many times. i stopped for a while, but this weekend the pain came onto me to hard and i couldnt help but harming myself. i feel scared when im on the process. i know i dont want to actually die. its just a scream for help. I tell my new best friend, i think she thinks ill get over it. i told my sisters, mom. they think the same. no one takes me seriously and it angers me, causing me to do more harm. i dont know how to stop myself when i am doing it. i feel lost all the time. i have lost interest in stuff that i used to love or look forward to, my friends have noticed. on monday, after i tried taking away my life again my teacher who i am comfortable with asked me if i was okay. i smiled, but i knew he saw my pain. this week, everyday he has asked me if im okay, or “how are you doing” im tired of saying fine. its all a lie. even to my best friend im tired of lying. but she knows that i am going through this. i am doing a project on teenage suicide, i chose that topic to seek for relief or hope in my search. no one notices how many signs i have been showing that i need help. they think that i will get over it soon. I don’t want to be another suicide story/case in those books.