Shephard

Lana Del Rey — God Knows I Tried

https://docs.google.com/uc?id=0B1LpoE-P3Sg-aFE5Tl9URzJzMWM&export=download.mp3

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[The following was written 10-Aug-19.]

It has been almost two years since I moved to Australia. Two whole years, and I’ve achieved so much in that time. More than I thought I ever would, if I’m being honest. Back in February I resigned from my position at the company, citing a stagnant work environment and lack of progression. It took a week for my bosses to actually pass my resignation up the chain to the two directors, but once they did I made my side very clear to the man […]

A collection of dreams I’ve had recently, as written in my dream journal:

050520 Dec 19

Veronica showing someone around as I was tidying up. Saw that she wanted me to tidy one part in particular. Went and began to tidy it…

I fell back to sleep shortly after. Unsure as to what else happened.

ENDS

~

280315 Nov 19

Evac from a metro area with a small GP of people including Daryl (Norman Reedus).

Ended up inside a small compound which was familiar to me and a couple others. We shut off the only entrance to it from the train station.

Things got dark and a small team headed off to a contested […]

In two weeks time it will have been six months that I’ve lived here in Australia. Friday the 13th is meant to be a day of superstitious hoo-doo and what-not, but the day I arrived here – and all that time since – has been the complete opposite. From initial fears of being away from everyone I know and love, to the adjustment period of getting re-acquainted with the nasally Australian accent – the going has been somewhat tough, but I have, without a doubt, well and truly settled in.

Two months into my new job, and I’m loving every moment of it. Sure, I do […]

Sydney.

It’s too fuckin’ hot here. No wonder the locals are all bloody miserable.

I miss my superwine biscuits, and tea. The bastard I’m living with is a lazy son of a *****, who continues to avoid doing his fair share of work – his fuckin’ room makes me sick. I suppose the locals are nice enough though. Aside from the questions about my accent that is.

*sigh* Here I am, cleaning up the mess made by someone else. Were it not for my mild(ish) OCD, this house would remain a radioactive wasteland. Bastard…

I have my GTFO fund in case my compensation ends […]

It’s a little warm outside, but here in my corner the air remains chilled to the bone.

Me. The corner. My thoughts.

Things could’ve been different… yet here I am. Fighting to stay alive, only to live in even more pain. The kicker to it all? I brought this upon myself.

I’ll quit my whining soon enough.

[Weapon canted to the left]

– Working parts cocked fully to the rear and back to the front
– CLAP the feed tray cover open
– SWEEP LEFT removing rounds from the tray
– SWEEP RIGHT to ensure no rounds or debris are still in the tray
– SLAM the feed tray cover shut, weapon in the shoulder

[Trigger squeezed, no shot should be fired]

[Weapon canted to the right]

– CLAP the feed tray cover open
– REPLACE the ammunition belt into the feed tray, inline with the feed claws
– SLAM the feed tray cover shut
– Weapon in the shoulder, working parts actioned fully rear to […]

101613 Aug 17 (I drafted this earlier today)

– Innovation and Information Technology Management course completed. Pass mark of 92% with four submissions made to community discussion forum. Handouts/transcripts deemed essential to maintaining the knowledge gained from this course have been stored via cloud storage.

– Tomorrow (Friday) slated as rest day. Rolling refresh of foodstuffs and hygiene products to be made at local supermarket.

– Headaches still… problematic. Continuing to manage with strong pain relief and adequate rest. No remarkable change in either symptoms or relief.

– Serviceability checks to be conducted on Mossberg shotgun, Gerber LMF II knife, and field equipment. These have not been serviced […]

Years have now passed since that fateful time
Yet those moments still haunt me within memories I cannot forget
Ignorance at the fact and of those events
Do little to quell the emotions within
At once the fuel to the rage and fire blackening my soul
Now strengthens and guides my resolve
“Don’t look back in anger” nor let it seep into the path ahead
But let it be a part in forging the roads on which you shall travel tomorrow

Those words left unspoken should be etched on my grave
Carried to my death and burdening until the end
A centrepiece of dream scapes and many […]

https://docs.google.com/uc?id=0B1LpoE-P3Sg-cVN0Y2w0dEtEYUE&export=download.mp3

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Life now is but a constant stream of memories, distorted by the harshness of reality. When sentimentality is your affliction, only the facts will sober you up from your misguided ways. That’s all it amounts to once the dust settles — being misguided, and going against your better judgement.

That’s all I amounted to.

But things have changed. For better or (hopefully not) worse, I have no choice but to discard my old self and embrace a new path moving forward. The path I was always meant to take, but shied away from due to an acute case of loverboy syndrome. Despite it all being in […]

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it”.

– Terry Pratchett

Look after yourself; look after one another. Best of luck to you all.

– T

https://docs.google.com/uc?id=0B1LpoE-P3Sg-aHdNb2l1dWdPZ3M&export=download.mp3

…can’t believe it’s almost my fuckin’ birthday again. Either I have something to show for it this time around or I… end up hating myself even more. But seeing that I’ve been at war with myself for the past decade; the latter seems the most likely to happen.

“All you need is some peace while you are here” — That’s a tall order for someone who’s been surrounded by violence in one form or another since their birth, Ms. Grant. I’ll carry your words though.

~

The first week of September will mark the start of my “internship” (as you Spams would call it) at an IT […]