There isn’t any place as welcoming and unforgiving as it. Actually, that’s wrong. Hitting rock bottom means everything you have done may not be tolerable, but maybe it might be forgivable in the next life. And so here we sit. Alone. Cold. Empty. Loving and hating every second of it. Loving, because the hatred gives you power. Something to feel. I’d rather feel bitter than this damned sadness all the time. Ignorant to other emotions. Numb. The soft buzzing in your ears allows you to focus on your own problems. That’s all everyone is doing, anyways. Dealing with their own problems. What’s it to you if mine are complicated?
Hating, because as empowering as it feels you don’t want to be there. Not essentially. You know that some how, some where, there are smiling people who are happy and have real nice lives and that’s how everyone should feel, right? Hating. You feel absent from them.Â Different.Â As though you live under the same moon but you couldn’t be worlds apart.
I know. I know, and I have been there, and I am still there. For those of you who read this and think this is complaining, read on. I envy you the thought that such a place exists. But for those of you like me(the ones who are considerably stronger) know that you are not alone. That at least someone, some where, has had a slight idea of such pain.
So let me tell you a little about myself. My name is Skylar. I am 18 years old. I graduated in June from highschool ontime. My life was on track. I was senior, ready for university, ready to get on with my life. Ready to make my mark on the world. Then things got complicated…..
If this gets good responses, I will put up another part to this. Thanks for your time. All criticism appreciated.