The pain doesn’t get better. Each day, my suffering seems to increase. I feel like a ghost walking through my life, I don’t know if anyone sees me or not, I feel invisible. I avoid talking to people for fear of frightening them with the truth… if they listen to me, or look into my eyes, they might see what I try to conceal; anguish and loneliness at the threshold of becoming more than any human being could possibly bear.
Last night, I cried for hours, and fell asleep imagining the instant relief of being hit head-on by a fast-moving train.