Hi there, I posted here about a month ago, maybe a month and a week, when I’d felt like killing myself. I’d just had been through a breakup with the first guy I ever liked, and I was stressed about college, and a variety of things happened that contributed to the feeling. However, this post isn’t like that. This is a happy post, mostly.
To start off with, when you love someone, it’s either going to end in a harsh break up or marriage. Â Usually at a younger age, it’s a break up. Â There’s not a whole lot I can say on the matter except this : You are perfectly fine. Whether you initiated the break up or you’re the unsuspecting one, there’s nothing wrong with you as a person. There’s no such thing as ‘one true love’, because there’s so many possible combinations of you and a person that there’s no way that there’s only one person on earth who fits you. Keep living, and I promise you’ll find relief from the heartbreak.
When it comes to serious stuff, you can cry and break down, and that’s okay, but eventually you have to wipe the tears, stand up, and say “I don’t want to depend on my parents, I don’t want to depend on some guardian, I want to be able to support myself and live however the fuck I want!!”. It’s not immediate, I’m still lacking a job, but it will happen.
When you feel like giving up, don’t. I used to think about how people referred to their youth as being the best part of their lives, and how if that’s so, I should end my life now because this sucks. It’s not true. When you live on you gain more freedom, and that’s what makes life better. The freedom to go where you want, be with who you want, make good or bad choices without worrying about what your mom thinks of you, those are why you need to not give up.
My friend and I had this ongoing Â joke in our English class, it was kind of sad. She was dealing with trying to live with her guardians although they depressed her, and I was dealing with older siblings/father trying to step in and decide my future for me. Both of us were nervous about college, and it turns out both of us were less-than-experienced with our sexual orientation preferences, which is more stressful than people would like to think, because you have to control yourself and hide part of who you are. We’re also Potterheads, and whenever she’d get overwhelmed by life, I’d tell her “It’s okay, it’ll be just like magic, we’ll turn 18 and poof! Life will be tolerable.”. She’d laugh and tell me “Magic isn’t real, it won’t work like that. It doesn’t just magically get better.”. It does, though. At least, it does to me.