To be honest, I like getting drunk and listening to sad music. It makes me feel alive.
The Rising Sun
Being suicidal is just like being an alcoholic or a drug abuser… you might think you quit but is always in the back of your mind.
I feel like I’m being stabbed with a knife that is a reflection of my life. And every cut reminds me of my mistakes; mistakes that I don’t want to remember.
Just when I thought everything was going to be okay… it isn’t. I feel like I’m living a very bad rerun of my life.
I feel alcohol helps me get through the bad times. Anybody else feel the same?
I think transparency is the key here. That being said… I like being somewhat depressed or stressed out. It makes me feel alive. It makes me love life.
Sometimes it’s so bad that I feel angry. And I hate myself for it. I feel like I’m hurting others just by breathing.
Everyday I think it’s going to be all better and everyday I let myself down.
It seems no matter how hard I try I am destined to fail.
Been thinking of what to write and just realized how difficult it is to open up about suicide.