And i give up. I can’t watch all of the sorrow i create around me. I have ruined so much. I’ve used up my attempts at having a good life, being a good person. I go through the work week so numb and on the weekends i sit alone, numb, in bed. I drink till i fall asleep. and then do it again. i can’t go on with this garbage. and so i deserve death. no more pain for those around me. no more wasted time and others money. Ill live alone and die alone. goodnight.
In recent years, for some reason i keep thinking things may turn around. what shit. things only get worse, like the growing pain i have living. in recent years ive had 2 sepereate relationships ending in getting cheated on.. i dont complain to people i know, as i would burden and alienate them, as i have done to all of my friends. i recently lost my best friend to suicide. I have no one to talk to. i lost my car. my job. my frinds. family. and parts of my body from accidents. I have cancer.