My doctor took my advice and put me on klonopin. Which is doing wonders for my anxiety which was all day every day. It doesn’t change my feeling of wanting to hang from the rafters. I don’t know exactly whats stopping me. I’m selfish and I know this because of my children. What is stopping me? I don’t know. Sorry for the ramble but F*** this!
unknownsoldier
I keep trying to do better with my life. I keep getting kicked back down. I took a huge step back (or step forward) and bought rope which I haven’t tied yet. I keep thinking more and more about a bridge about an hour from me that is a popular spot for jumpers. The fall is not what scares me it’s what my family will think about me if I do this. I have no notes written at this point and don’t know if I will. Just tired of this life that I have been dealt. My kids deserve better than this they truly do.
I don’t want to come off as sounding like a whiny ***** but I’m tired. I’m tired of being the only certainty in my children’s life. I don’t want to do it anymore. Everyone tells me that things get better but they never do. I’m trying my best but it never seems like its enough.
Nothing I have been through in my life could have prepared me for depression. Not my time in the service or my childhood could have prepared me for what a constant struggle is. I wish there was someone who could help me, but sadly there isn’t.
That’s a fucking wrap. I’m done with this life.
Although I should not be drinking it helps kill the pain. I raise my glass to all of you.
Im tired of not having someone to talk to in my life that I can tell the truth to. I have scared everyone off that has every meant anything to me. I fucking hate my life. I wish I hadn’t gotten out of the military.
I’ve fought enough battles to know this is not one I can win. I’m tired of being strong and putting on a show of being fucking ok.
so about 4 months ago I applied for a service animal then I was hospitalized twice in three weeks. I got an email this morning that because I was hospitalized that I didn’t qualify for one. What the FUCK do I have to do to receive one, lie about it?
Have any of you heard of this? Or have any experience with it? I have gone to a few sessions of it and it seems to be helping. I just wanted to put it out there because it may help some of you. It’s not your normal therapy where you go and dwell on the past and it makes things worse. I challenge you all to at least look it up and see what it’s all about.
M
I have a lot and yet I still feel so empty. I have this urge to start cutting again. Fuck this