I trusted you. I told you things I didn’t tell anyone else. You played with how I felt about you. And now I feel more alone than ever.
It is the eve of a loved one’s birthday who passed away years and years ago, and it still brings up the dark feelings of powerlessness and abandonment that I have felt my entire life. Years and years later, I still feel the pain of people in my life leaving me. And the one person who makes me feel okay, who makes me believe that some people can stay, I can no longer confide in because…here’s the truth…I love you and that’s why communicating with you makes me feel worse than I did before, when I was all alone. CAN ONE PERSON PLEASE JUST LOVE ME BACK AS MUCH AS I LOVE THEM PLEASE PLEASE
I feel dead inside. I’ve started abusing substances. I still feel dead. What’s the point of living if I am incapable of being loved or even feeling alive?