I realize methods are against site rules, so I won’t mention methods. But it’s for real this time. I have a plan. Once the summer is over, I’m crashing at my dads place to watch the house. Thanksgiving is the last day on this earth for this weary soul. It may be selfish but I’m tired of it all.
The other day I wrecked my mom’s car. I barely have enough to cover the fucking mirror not even the door. So college is out the door. I had to turn down a great job opportunity because it’s in the city and my mom said I can’t take it. Nothing is looking up. I’d rather drown it all out but I don’t drink.
My hopes and dreams end in the heart of a graveyard.
So, let’s start this off right, shall we? I suffer from psychosis. Meaning, I suffer from hallucinations on top of my major depressive disorder. These voices are evil creatures. James – The ring leader – wants me dead. Hailey wants others dead. Jimmy – The nice one – left years ago, I’m assuming hallucinations can off themselves too. I’m so sick of hearing from them. And yes, I’m on medication. And again, yes, I have been taking it. I’m so sick of this world. Nothing good comes of it. But god help me if I don’t want to live in this filth encrusted world we call home. The one true love of my life left, she brought light to my world but no more. I might give in some day soon. This is not a cry for help, but an outlet for my stress. No one listens to me. They all want me to be locked up in mental bins. F— that. I’m not going back.