Some days all i can think about is killing myself and wanting to die. Then others i worry incessantly and panic about the possibility getting some horrible disease (mostly cancer) that will kill me. WTF? Does anyone else have these crazy swings? I dont know how to make sense of it.
Walstib
When I read all these people saying to reach out, to get help when talking about the Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade suicides, i get mad. Help can be of so little value. Yes you can call the suicide hotline and it might talk you off the ledge for a night or so but it doesn’t help much in the long run. You can go to therapy. Take meds. And still feel every single f’ing day that you want to kill yourself. Still feel the agony. If it were as easy as reaching out for help, we wouldn’t have so many people […]
I think that i have come to a realization tonight in the midst of all my tears that might finally give me the courage to go ahead and kill myself, end it all, pull the trigger…whatever you want to call it. I think i have to live and die for myself. What has been keeping me from killing myself this last year or so has been my nine year old son mostly, and to some extent my dad and some other people in my life. Not wanting to hurt them. Not wanting to irreperably damage my son especially. But i am tired of living […]