I got a text from my girlfriend today. She told me there’s another guy who she likes. She says she loves me ano not him, and that she just felt something for him briefly… Because we hadn’t talked in a few days (she’s been traveling). So I don’t know why it hurts but it hurts so fucking much. I nearly had a panic attack when she first told me and I’ve just been sad since. She’s the first person in a while I’ve fully trusted, and I feel like I can always trust her. But i don’t know anymore.
It was going really well for a while. There was a girl I loved, and she loved me back. I was happy with her. Then we broke up… She told me she had too much school work and anxiety over it, and that her mom told her to (this is 11th grade, mind you). I was completely fucked to begin with but I was okay. I thought I moved on with my life. Then, out of nowhere, she sends me a picture of her with a guy. The fucking *****. I hadn’t talked to her in a month (pretty much since the break-up). I texted her and she said the guy had sent it, she didn’t know. But bullshit. And suddenly all my fucking emotions opened. She told me she lied about why we broke up, that she really broke up with me because she can’t love anybody. She fucking lied to me earlier, twice. It just hurts so much and I still love her I can’t stop.
It’s so hard to function. I feel the oppressive weight of loneliness on me constantly. A single second of alone time, and it’s like a million years. It’s not that I don’t have friend, I just don’t always talk to them. Fuck my life. I’m so fucking tired of having anxiety over every single little decision. Fuck.
I’ve never really liked going away from home. I used to be okay with it though. These past couple of years everything has changed. It started off with being unable to leave for a week. Then two nights. Then one. Now, even a full day trip causes anxiety. I’ve determined it’s not that I’m attached to anyone at my home, it’s my home itself. I am, however, going to college in 2 years. I’m scared as fuck. I’m really smart, and I have the grades to go anywhere. I’m afraid that my emotional problems will hold me back, leaving me unable to go anywhere but community college. I keep telling myself I’ll grow out of it but it just gets fucking worse instead. Idk why I’m even putting this here, I just feel like I have to do… Something :/
I guess my problem has always been loneliness… been at school all day, then i did some sports and… still. I literally have like 2 hours of alone time and i cannot stand it. I feel like im losing my friends. My ex-girlfriend wants to get back together, told me her friend told her to break up with me. As much as I still like her, I cant do that. I was clean from porn for three months and now… one day. Shit is falling apart.
feeling like shit today. stayed homd alone all day and watched porn three times… feeling so disguisted with myself. All i want is to stop being so damn lonely… not even about just sex (although that would be nice) but just someone who loves me. blech 🙁
i guess im just looking for opinions
everytime after i watch porn, i feel terrible. i feel like a piece of shit. ive promised my friend (who has the same issue) that i wouldnt do it again, but i keep doing it. i dont think its an addiction because i only do it about once a month, and i dont find myself craving it. its just that, in the moment… i cant really stop myself (or dont want to). im not very religious, so im not sure why im having such a negative reaction. does anyone know why, or have any advice on how to quit, or anything? thanks
My best friend in the world just said she didn’t want to be friends with me. Said we don’t talk enough in person. We tell each other everything and text all day. But we don’t see each other much. Dammit.
Happy! Sad! Happy! Sad! Laugh! Cry! Laugh! Cry! You love her! You hate her! Love! Hate! Love! Hate! Confused! Clear-headed! Stressed! Okay! Stressed! Okay! Confused! Fuzzy! Clear! Fuzzy! You love this other girl! Hate! All in the space of half an hour. Can’t do it. No. What’s wrong with me?
Freaking out. Freaking out because my friends all abandoned me because I told them I was depressed. I’m having a panic attack. I can’t deal with this. Freaking out. Freaking out.
I think I’m bipolar. One time I was sitting in bed and I was happy (like a 9) and my mom turned off my light and in less than a second I was in complete and total despair Â (like a 2)… I’ll feel incredibly happy and excited and productive and then horribly depressed seconds later. Help. How can I know?
Three years of hell.
Three years of being turned on by people I trusted.
Three years of crying for help.
Three years of no one helping me.
Three years of no life.
Three years of depression.
Three years of getting scars that will stay with me forever.
Three years of pain.
Three years of everyone hating me.
Two years since then.
Two years of friends.
Two years of scars.
Two years of happiness.
One month of depression.
One month ofÂ indescribable pain.
One month of thinking I’m bipolar.
One month of having to act normal.
One month of hiding my feelings.
One month of Â pretending to be happy.
Hi I guess I’m new here.
I’ve wanted to kill myself for a while (I’m 13), and I finally found a site that I think might help me.
I would, but I’m too much of a coward to
But since I won’t I’m too much of a coward.
I just hate everything
Can’t stand life anymore