I really hate the word reality. I hate when my mom storms in to my room and tells me that lying in bed and taking naps all the time isn’t reality. She tells me I have to get up and sometimes I feel like I can’t. I don’t want to and it would be heaven if I could stay in my bedroom forever. It’s my safe place and I feel like no one can hurt me here. Today my mom came in to my room and she told me I had to start working on my summer reading project for school. School is probably the biggest source of anxiety for me. Last year I couldn’t go to the last two weeks of school because I was so afraid. And that book and its assignment are a symbol of school so of course I didn’t want to do it. I couldn’t do it.
I just wanted to share this song because I love it so much and I hope some of you do too. Also I recently found SP a few days ago and it’s really awesome. It’s something that I’m happy to be a part of now. People who understand almost exactly what I have been and am going through is just what I need. Plus, I know that nobody judges on here and thats such a relief:)
I genuinely believe that some people don’t belong in this world. This atmosphere is just too much for us and we need an escape. I am one of those people that just isn’t meant for this environment. I need a different way and I think heaven would be so great. I know it would be great. I just wish I had the courage and strength to go there.