There are times when I feel like a normal person. I’m happy at work, home and out with my friends. I feel like I’m an attractive young 25 year old girl (as long as I stay away from the mirror). And I’m truly happy. Proud of myself for overcoming my depression and thoughts of fading away. I’m high above despair and I feel normal. Not like a superhero, just a normal functioning person.
And then I’m reminded of how little I matter. How wrong I am. How much of a disappointment I am. How inadequate I am. I begin to hear the silence again. And the strangest thing, I finally feel safe.