I’ve just lost the most important person in the world to me because of my depression. My boyfriend of one year broke up with me last night. One of my best friends says that he did it because he was afraid that he would lose me to suicide. He was afraid because he doesn’t know what it’s like to be at rock bottom, and therefore doesn’t understand which led to that fear. That makes sense, I guess. I’ve been doing a lot worse lately emotionally. I still haven’t cut or taken any pills in like a month though, but god, I just feel like such […]
Xia
I have long since given up in trying to defend myself in any kind of argument I have with my family. I just can’t win. This morning my aunt drove us to the vet so we can get our cat fixed. On the way back she kept criticizing me on how my mom took $40 out of her account so I could pay my cell phone for this month and she said that if I do it again she’s going to take away my phone. I’ve already paid my mom back $20, and I was going to pay here the other half sometime in the […]
Today I realized that I don’t have an “I love you” type feeling for my family. It’s more of an “I tolerate you” kind of thing. Maybe it’s cause they keep lying about how they’ll help me that I have a hard time trusting people, especially when I’m upset. One side of my brain says “I hate you,” the other more logical side says “You don’t really hate this person, you’re just misdirecting your feelings.” I want to take a bat and just hit stuff whenever I get that mad, but then the logical side steps in and i don’t do a thing.
Sometimes I hate […]
and I guess some of my other family members are too, though my mom is the one everyone bitches about. It’s not as bad as the ones you see on tv though, thank god. But I’m still sure it’s hoarding. She doesn’t throw anything away and because of that she doesn’t clean. When she does “clean” she just takes whatever crap she’s trying to get out of the way and either puts it downstairs or in her room.
This morning my grandma called a little before 7 am(about 50 mins ago) and told my mom to go pull out a cabinet my aunt was trowing away […]
by myself for the first time ever. I guess I’m not so useless after all.
🙂
My mother and I are staying at home instead of going to my aunt’s pool party today.
Why?
Well due to one of my car’s turn signals being broken my mother though it best to not have me drive it to one of my aunt’s houses(this aunt was supposed to be our ride for the pool party.) “Why couldn’t you have driven it anyway?” you might ask. Well, I haven’t driven for a year due to having no insurance/being at school. So instead of risking it and going ahead driving and signalling turns with my hand, I decided not to risk and just ask the aunt who […]
At around 3am this morning I started having a panic attack. Whenever this happens, my boyfriend says I can call him so he can help me however he can even though he’s 1,000 miles away. This one was going to be bad, I knew it. When he asked me what was wrong, I replied, “Maybe it would be better if I were to kill myself.”
“Why would you do that?” was his reply.
There are times when I really wish I could make him see the world as I see it. Not just to describe my problems the way you would describe the world around […]
(I’m sorry for this rant but I’m really pissed still)
First of all, it would be great if they could get their facts straight instead of just assuming that they know all the answers.
I DID NOT RUN AWAY. When someone runs away, they usually take their stuff with them due to the fact they won’t be living in the same place anymore. All I brought with me was my mp3 player. The reason I left was because I was upset because my boyfriend and I were arguing about my self harming. I left so I wouldn’t lock myself in the […]
Article & video:
http://www.bilerico.com/2011/04/transwoman_severely_beaten_at_baltimore_mcdonalds.php
How could they do that to someone? People are still so ignorant and hateful of things that are different and unknown. One of my best friends is transgendered, so this story is a lot more personal to me than for some other people. I hate how no one really tried to help her except for that one woman, and no one bothered to call the police till she was on the ground seizing!
Welcome to the future. I wish for the best, but look at all of the darkness we have…
Comments?
It’s fun when you can find a song you can relate to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E31eh1L7h1s&feature=related
I try to look calm on the outside to hide what’s going on inside.
The truth is a war’s being raged in me.
Two sides always trying to take control, but neither has won yet.
It doesn’t stop,
So let’s drown out the noise with some good tunes.
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Your work is the best Nujabes. RIP.
I’m taking things slowly, so we’ll see how this goes.
I know this won’t kill me. But this is the first step in destroying myself.
So here we go.
So yesterday I told my aunt how I’ve been feeling these past couple months. She’s the first family member that I’ve really tried to talk to about this. Her responses really aren’t going so well with me. They all seem to be those “I’ve been there before, here’s what I did to handle it” situations, but there’s really nothing about the depression I’ve been feeling. I’m wondering that if this is how she’s treating the situation, maybe I shouldn’t tell any of my other family members cause they’ll address it the same?
I’m trying to find help with the people around me, but really nothing ever […]
When it comes to death, life is a waiting game.
It’s something that will happen to everyone eventually, but sometimes people grow impatient. That’s why you’re reading this, right? You came to this site because you grew impatient. Death didn’t come to you when you wanted, so now you seek it. Or seek a way to prevent you from greeting death early.
Everyone has their own reasons.
For me, my situation keeps changing. It constantly switches back and forth from being good or bad.
Yes, life is a waiting game, and I’m just waiting for the next chess piece to move so I can see what my new […]
Hello there. I found this site a few days ago and have been debating on whether or not I should join. Well, I joined.
I created this story as a way to try to express how I’ve been feeling lately to my friends. I’m not quite sure if they understood it though…
Anyway, I’ll try to post more info after the story. It just seems like it would be easier to me that way.
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A figure walks into a room and inside the room is a wizard. He walks up to the wizard and asks, “I have heard that you are a great […]