Hi. I’m going to school right now and… I honestly don’t know what is wrong with me. I feel so emotionless, so stoic. I can’t even crack a smile at my cousin’s antics. I have a lot on my mind and I would like to talk about it. My number is 16363882782 if anyone is willing to talk to me before class.
Please leave me alone. Don’t ask me to listen anymore. Leave me alone. Stop talking! Go to Hell! Burn me up! Stab me in the heart! Choke me! You did it last time dammit! Fag! ******! *****! Die you depressive little emo!!!
I am not alright. It’s that time again. Papa. Papa, I miss you. I want to be with you. Papa. Why did no one tell me how you died? I don’t know anymore. I just want to be with you. Papa. I love you. I am willing to die. You left me. GODDAMMIT YOU FUCKING LEFT ME!!!! I will never ever forgive you […]
I like to smile. I don’t know why, but it’s easier that way. I smile when she hits me. I smile when they mock me. I wipe my eyes and I smile. I smile when they scream and rant that I am not good enough. I should be perfect. So I smile. They want to believe it, so I let them.
Damn those voices. They like to mess with my mind. They enjoy my abuse. I can only smile. ******. ******. *****. I’m Aimee’s *****. ****** ***** ******. Dyke. They scream it at me. They know what I am. And so does she.
I hate […]
I don’t know whats wrong with me. I put myself in therapy but we can’t afford to keep me in it. It was helping, but now everything’s falling. I find it harder and harder to breathe. Maybe one day I’ll stop. I find that thought comforting.
Sometimes I can’t think. I’ll start and stop. People think I’m weird for that. My own flesh and blood don’t understand. And I’ll forget. I want to scream, to tell them that this all hurts so much. But I can’t scream. I don’t know why but my voice is too weak.
Maybe I could blame my parents for this. They […]
i still hate life. i still hate myself. i still hate doctors. i still cry sponataneously. i still get angry randomly. i still hear the voices. i still will never let anyone touch me (i doubt i ever will). i still feel worthless. i still am very sick and losing more weight right now. i still have difficulty waking up. i still hate the world. i still want to beat the shit out of myself sometimes.
but i dont want to die.
granted, i am still an ungrateful peice of shit who should throw herself off a bridge or better yet listen to the Dark Man. […]
reliving the nightmare. a poem by mwah.
he sits there patiently
as i scream
as i yell
when i struggle
I gave in.
I gave in.
he forces me down
when i start to cry
he tells me:
shut up someone might hear.
i push and yell
he punches me
I give in.
I give in.
he pulls out
i scamper and cry
if you tell anyone you’ll die
so i shall slice my wrist
let the blood flow
he promised this
he keeps his promises.
AN: yeah my nightmare i normally have. why else would i not want to sleep? yeah he does keep his […]
people on here tell me to not commit suicide. hm. what if i told you that i am sick. if i told you i was actually sick and lost 10 pounds in the past few months even though i eat, wud u believe me? would u be amazed if i said i am now 80 pounds and am losing more and more?
no. of course not. but its true. and i really dont want to die due to an illness. its my own choice, my death is. and id rather go off in bang than otherwise.
well…this is one of the reasons at least that ill […]
Eyes like glass
Thoughts lost in the sea
The sea of the Abyss
She can’t wish
She can’t wish for this
The ship lurches and falls
Along the rocky waves
The waves of the waves push her on
She wants to drown.
But Hell won’t let her.
i cant stand it. i am angry. goddammit i havent been angry in a while.
my set of few morals:
if it aint your business then dont talk about it to other people.
dont lie to yourself.
dont have sex (as in willingly) until you are 16. (one more year)
yeah, not hard to follow. well, maybe the second, but it can be easy to fix. my friends expected me to break the first! its strange though. i nearly killed tina when she said in her snotty attitude “trade me places i dont want to sit by her anymore” just because i told her that its not my […]
mya. my baby. im sorry you have such a selfish sister. u dont know how close ive come so many times. i cud call a lot of people my guardian angels. but really, youve been bout the only one who has been able to stop me from jumping the gun.
im tired now baby. the dark man’s caught up with me and im breaking. im breaking baby cant you see it? please baby, im a shitty sister and i cant stand it anymore. dont look at my corpse. its too goddamn awful. sissy, i love you but i have failed you. i cant stand living in […]
i feel like i should share my story for someone to know why i have gone, so at least someone can know what really happened to me so i can leave in peace.
my dad is from the west coast and my moms from missouri. how they met is a mystery. somewhere between august and september, the condom broke and i was concieved. i know for a fact that it was a condom that broke because they weren’t married and dad would be cautious. i was then born 9 months later into a fucked-up family. my aunt had two kids, each without a dad (well, you […]
sitting in my chair
sitting in my mind
wrap his hands round my neck
i cant breathe
i cant see
wait for night
to watch life
drain from my eyes
the spirit’s gone, so its no fun.
just mercy, you say.
a mercy killing you say.
my heart pounds as yours does not.
what a pathetic shit, you think.
what a life and not gonna use it.
he will take it for the night.
does everything i cannot
and in the end
the dark man’s gonna kill me, ma.
mama, he’s gonna kill me.
i have learned the meaning of life. i’ve known it for a long time. life is what you make, therefore one must interpret life in their own way to find a meaning of it. there, i just answered the controversial question. i believe i do deserve a treat for that. if there are any other questions that i can figure out, ill be happy to answer.
damn how i should be a philosopher.
im trying to swim
im trying to breathe
i take a breathe
and i choke on water
i reach out for someone
flailing for help
only to be pushed into the water yet again.
i drift underneath
ready to go drown
ready to leave the pain behind.
still i hear that voice.
someone needs me
so i’ll stay alive for a little while.
just for her.
this is for my sister. i was gonna do it, i swear i was. the knife was on my heart. one quick stab and i’d be screwed. but then my sister started laughing in the other room and i couldnt. i […]
i kno its sad but i hve made a list of things i wud like to complete before i die.
one. i wud like to finish reading a tale of two cities.
two. i wud like to start a fight at school with the kids who bully me.
three. i wud like to scream. see i hvent done it and pple say its good for you.
four. i wud like to stay silent for a day at school.
five. i wud like to kiss tina again.
six. i wud like to try a joint of marijuana for curiousity’s sake.
seven. i wud like to scream and […]
i give up.
do you know how much shit you get moving to a predominately white hick town? i moved here 4 yrs ago and i get shit evryday for being a diff race (technically black but i look latino or asian) being quiet, being smart, n being a lez. yeah its a lil hard to live when u hear voices evryday.
the worst thing is tht evryone says: oh ull be alright. NO ITS NOT ALRIGHT!!! when someone gets bullied evryday n hears voices tht means u fucking listen to them instead of ignoring them! ive had enough! im not the trash u throw […]