staggered overdose is what im thinking . I know how painful it is with liver failure but im willing to endure the pain for the end result. Â I just cant bare it not looking like a accident something like a car crash or hanging would be too traumatic on my family .. I always thought pill overdoses were stupid and merely for attetion but now i feel like im left with no other option. suggestions experiences??
I know genreally pill overdoses fail and such but mine is well backed up my extensive research so its not a option. I know there is the chance i will end up in hostipal in agnosing pain as my liver will be completly destroyed after 200 pills of these kind but thats a risk im willing to take. Hanging was my go to for a long time but I just cant bare for my parents to hear “your daughters hung herself” its just too brutal exleast this way they will get to be by my bedside in hostipal. It pains me to be typing this so casually knowing the pain my family will endure its selfish of me but i need them to know this is noones falut but my own I am a pathethic excuse for a human being dont try to tell me otherwise because you dont know me just belive me when i say that. I wont explain the circumstances that lead me to this but just know its not a simple breakup nor teenage problem. It is a mental disorder that ive suffered 8 with for years Â ive tried 6 antidepressants been to therapy for 2 years , simply the pain outweighs my coping mechanisms. I wish you all luck on your journey in life or death and hope you can find hapiness. Bless you all.
suicide is a permanent solution.Â
to a temporary problem.
Today I turned 18, im offically a adult and everyones acting like I should be over the moon and celebrating please tell me why I would celebrate a life i dont want? Hi im zara 18 as Â of today I have severe social anxiety and by severe I mean I cant do anything with my life. I had to leave my final year of school have lost all friends have a abusive mother who laughs at my nonability to even leave the house. Ive been to several therapies and tried 4 medications but nothing tames the severity of my anxiety thats where depression and suicidal thoughts have become my reality. Ive had suicidal thoughts for about 2 months and in the last week they have become ideation and it has become apparent it is my fate. Ive gotten to the stage where ive written my suicide note, planned where and my method. Im not looking for sympathy simply other people to relate too that feel suicide is something that seems like the only option. Sorry im so negative thats what depression does hey.