My usage of psychedelics, especially mushrooms is letting me slowly exit my chemical lobotomy and into a state of awareness and ability to have common sense, energy, endurance, drive, determination, willpower, intuition and able to reason, be assertive. Now that my level of consciousness is higher than it has been in the past several years flashbacks are getting more intense and distressing. I’m starting to realize how braindead and blind I really was in the past and I can’t describe what it’s like to be aware of this other than downright disturbing.
I decided to start fasting to try to make my tits shrink. Though I think I’ll likely give up and start eating again, mostly because of boredom and hunger pains. Currently I’m trying to apply and smell essential oils frequently because your sense of taste and smell are connected so smelling essential oils acts as kind of like a substitute for eating. Also I’m focusing on the traumatic experiences I’ve endured in the past and the things about me (my body, brain, etc) and my life I’m ashamed of to distract myself from food. Does anyone have any tips to make not eating for a long period easier?
I’m guessing it’s because so many people in the world don’t have internet access, what do you think?
Now that I haven’t been having so many physical problems, I have nothing to do. I find it really difficult to transmit my thoughts into words to communicate them with other people. I have a difficult time separating the past from the present, and if time is just an illusion, I guess there’s no difference. I’ve had a hangover from magic mushrooms for literally almost 7 weeks now, and before that I had a shroom hangover for almost 4 weeks and after about 3 1/2 weeks I did them again and got another hangover from them. I would really like to try dmt but I have no idea how to obtain it or a pipe to smoke it in. I think I may never have the opportunity to try it for the rest of my life.
I really want to eat right now, I can’t tell if it’s because I’m bored and I’m used to stuffing my face with food several times a day, or I’m low in nutrients. I hate my roommate all she does is ***** at her dog, it makes me feel bad because I’m too much of a ***** to do anything about it. I wish I could move to another place.
I can’t help but feel ashamed of the decisions I’ve made in the past that have left me utterly trapped, confused, hopeless and miserable now. When I was 13 I was admitted to a psych ward where I was prescribed risperidone which I took every night because I was too much of a ***** to refuse. I tried to spit it out but the nurses gave me orally disintegrating tabs which made it practically impossible to do so. After a while there I gave up and decided to just start swallowing it. I now regret it more than ever.
Psychiatric drugs have permanently ruined my body, most notably my brain I am now 19 and my life’s been pure hell, emptiness and nothingness since then. I wish I would’ve refused to take them, even if that led to being held down and given an injection of the meds against my will at least it wouldn’t have been my choice to take the destructive chemicals. Now I feel like because I chose to take the drugs it’s my fault my body’s malformed and crippled and my brain dumbed down and foggy. I can’t initiate or start anything any more, it’s like trying to grow a tree without planting a seed, or a deaf person trying to listen to a song.
My hangover from the last time I did mushrooms is going away. It has lasted for over 6 weeks. IÂ honestly couldn’t tell if I was ever going to feel stronger and regain energy or not. My energy’s been fluctuating…I hope I don’t crash and end up exhausted and hungry again. I honestly can’t tell if I feel exhausted, drowsy, hungry, and miserable all the time from my hangover that will go away in days, if not weeks, or I’m just going to be like this for the rest of my life.
I have no one to trust or talk to. Not even myself. I’m too embarrassed to overview my thoughts with myself. I’m getting tempted to eat because I have absolutely nothing else to do. Psychiatric drugs have devestated my brain, left me in a permanent confused oblivious fog. Post here if you have the timeÂ to communicate with me.
Do you think you could do it?
Praise of big tits, reminds of the days in china where bound feet were seen as better than unbound feet. They’re both painful to have and debilitating. I see it as oppression under a veil of enthusiasm.
Write anything you feel like here that doesn’t fit other topics. Honestly I’m scared to post everything on my mind because I think some of my thoughts, if I post them I’ll be banned.
I’m wondering how old everyone on here is, it seems many of the posters here are teenagers.
I am 19.
I’ve been having numerous problems over the past several years (living in fear, confinement, fatigue, weakness, headaches and other physical problems) and I can’t help but pity myself over it, but I honestly don’t feel that bad about it because my life would’ve been boring without having to deal with the hardships I endured. Life is pointless, especially in this society where all it seems to be about is work and money. It’s a shame, I don’t think I could find a purpose to living even if I had the opportunity no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried. It pisses me off when people say things like “think of how lucky you are compared to most of the world” because they think having wealth, food, clothes, shelter etc equals having it better than humans who do not. Is numb, boring and pointless really any better than difficulty?