Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

5

Voices in my Head

  May 19th, 2009 by voicesofdoom

I try to remember why I wanted to kill myself. I don’t know. I can’t recall, but somehow I still know why I want to be out of this “reality”. Sometimes I wish I was in an empty space, where I can hear nothing, not even a sound, not even me breathing, nothing at all.

I was 12. It was long ago now. I wanted to die, but i never found the courage enough, then this person cae to me, she helped me a lot, and I don’t even remember what she looked like. I felt I was I love with her, she took care of …

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2

He Didnt Know

  May 17th, 2009 by wristcutter

he started at 13

it got worse every year

i guess it was an escape from harsh reality

 

she loved him with all her heart

she wasnt aware of his problem

she really cared

he didnt know how much

 

he was 17

she got a phone call

he was going to jail

she finally saw

the intensity of his problem

 

they didnt see each other for 6 months

she started to care a little less

they wrote

and called

but she was slipping away

slowly going downhill

he didnt know

that he was the source of her problems

 

he came home

she was happy

he had changed

she was glad

he lied

she found out when they took him away

he didnt know how much it hurt her

to see him taken …

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0

Silver Tongues Speak Only Lies

  May 17th, 2009 by FallenAngel

Ive always lied. Everyone does. At first its just the small things. But then it gets bigger.

Im flunking the 8th grade, but my dad thinks im fine.

Ask me if im ok? ill say sure. ill think, bc im ending this soon anyway

my parents are devorsed and just reasently my dad got into another devorce, but i woulnt use that as a reason. A couple years ago I think I cried so much(EVERY FRICKING DAY!!!!UGH!!!) that i cant do that when im sad anymore… I just always have this door in the back of my mind thats shut with all this negative stuff locked up inside. It …

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0

ups and downs

  May 13th, 2009 by upliftinglydotcom

I’ve never really understood things the way others seem to and I often feel out of place.  It seems just when I start feeling good about life and feel like there is something I can really get behind and feel proud about supporting, I get shot down by obstacles and people (sometimes those few who are close to me).  I’ve always had a view of the world tinted by dreamer’s eyes, and so realism isn’t exactly always my forte.  I can get passionate about anything, but I can also get down and out about anything.  At the drop of a hat I can turn from …

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16

Goodbye Cruel World

  May 13th, 2009 by Eddie1331

So is it so bad to be a gay male.. Yes it is, from how I’m treated.  You’d think I was a fucking childmolesting murderer for how the people at school treat me.  But no, just gay.  It’s my senior year of high school too and you think it’d be the best but it has undeniably been the worst.  I never knew that coming out would have such negative consequences. WTF was I thinking!  I live in Montana in a small town FULL of homophobes.  And everyone knows that I am gay so that past five months since I did come out have been hell. Everyday I go through the same ritual …

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1

Today is the end

  May 11th, 2009 by robins

Every day I feel less like living more like dying.  I feel like a zombie going through the emotions of life only to be grasping.  My husband truly hates me.  How do I know?  He tells me that I am a horrible person who has no redeeming qualities.  All I do I do for him and our child.  He just hates me and I am not sure what to do with that.  We have been together since we’re 18 and I just can’t see how to go on without him.  That’s all I ever wanted to be was his wife.  I really have no life without him.

I …

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3

7,7,7,0

  May 10th, 2009 by AbsentFeeling

I forgot about everything. Just a total blank out and then I fell apart. Tears were pouring down my face. When my mom finally came back from work we decided to go for a car drive. She said, as she often does, that something wasn’t quite right about me. Then she asked if I was at all suicidal. I quickly told her no, hoping to hear what would happen if I had said yes. She did a small cough/laugh and said that if I said yes I would go straight to the Mental Hospital. I know for sure that I couldn’t talk to her about …

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5

Untitled

  May 10th, 2009 by painterofmusic

No one is going to read this. I don’t know why I came back here to this website. I figured I never would after I found it the first time, but here I go again… This is exactly like when I found out I was pregnant, to a T; I was going to end my life, but then, an opportunity presented itself. I saw what might be a reason to live. Judging by before, assuming that the past paints a pretty good portrait of the future, I’ll be worse off than before. If I had gone through with everything before, I wouldn’t be hurting this way …

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5

Untitled

  May 10th, 2009 by painterofmusic

I’m not entirely sure what I’m thinking by posting this. I’ve kept to myself for all this time, no one is going to read this, and no one on here cares anymore than anyone around here. I mean, people say the words, but they don’t really mean them. You can hear, “I DO care about you!” but as soon as they say that, they’re off doing something else. But I guess if I’ve come this far, if I typed the words on the search engine that led me to this website, if this really is some low blow at getting suicidal people reported, whatever the reason …

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4

  May 8th, 2009 by erased_orion

I dont really understand why i feel this way…come to think of it, i dont really have as much problems as other people, i mean, I’ve never been raped or anything like that….so im sorry for taking your time. It’s just that…i have no other way i could let this out. My best friend doesnt like to let me talk to her about things like this, and i can’t tell my parents…They’re not here. It’s just that i feel so…empty and alone…always. Im also no good at anything…i cant do anything right, and i have average grades, but i know for a fact that that’s …

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5

I Almost Suceeded

  May 7th, 2009 by NoWayItsRick

It’s been almost three months since I almost suceeded killing myself. I had everything planned, right down to the bottom line. I had called to say goodbye to my mother and grandparents. They had no clue what was actually going on. They figured I was just saying goodnight like I do everynight. I was going to take the entire bottle of serious pain killers I had. I still had a small bit of doubt and I tried to cling to it. The pain became too real for me. And it grew steadily worse. I started cleaning my room up. Organizing everything. In my own sick …

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7

I can’t even escape myself in my dreams.

  May 4th, 2009 by YourAnonymous

I had a dream last night. I remembered it all. I haven’t remembered by dreams for about 2 years.
My dream: I was at my old grade school in the library. My age now, just there for some reason (it’s just down the street from my recent school now). I remember hiding behind the bookcase so nobody would see me. Then I was on my grandmother’s old Condo balconey. On the 19th floor. I’m afraid of heights and always felt unsafe there. Theres two beds on the small balconey, I’m laying on one by myself and the other one is occupied by two other people. One is …

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0

i want to die! – but i dont

  May 4th, 2009 by olzielawzy1996

Put yourself in my shoes and see what you would do.. in all honestly. I’ll take your opinions into account and within 20 days I’ll either be still alive or dead.

 

Ok.. My name is Ollie and the only thing good in my life is my beloved grandma. she lives out in the country with 16 dogs and kennels she has alot of land and we love each other so much. I go out once a week on a saturday when i’m not at school (i’m 13) and occasionaly dont go becuase shes showing but if its local i go with her. The bad things.. I’m …

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4

Slow death

  April 25th, 2009 by MaybeGodStillLikesMe

Took about 20 iron pills around 11:00pm yesterday from all the crap my parents put me through. I thought I would die in my sleep. Until I found out today I will die a slow death when I woke up today and researched it . I’m transitioning from stage one to 2 soon. It would take me about 3 days to die give or take if I’m not in a coma. Well it could take a week that I could die from an overdose. I told my mom  after I woke up. She made me puke up everything several times after drinking loads of water. Though that …

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2

Why bother, it never gets better.

  April 24th, 2009 by DrDillo

Every time I get a real good feeling about the right woman, I get shot down. Its always been “Your nothing”, “You don’t deserve her”, and such. And i’m really ready to just end my life. There’s no point in love or my life, im sick and tired of amounting to nothing. Being nothing is all I’ve ever been and all I ever will be. Every love has been a big f%#@ing dud, a flat line, another piece of me I just give away. I’ve been in this path of hate for 8 years now. And all its been is hate, anger, and depression. I see no point in …

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1

I Don’t Know How to Feel

  April 24th, 2009 by Kieylee102

Everything is falling apart and I don’t know what to do. My family is being torn apart and I can’t stop it. All I wanted was to have a family that loves each other and doesn’t fight. Every once in awhile is okay but not this. Then I found out me dad has bleeding ulsers and if they don’t get better they could turn in to canser. I just want everything to be okay it doesn’t have to be perfect but at least okay. I don’t want to be the reason he ends up in the hospital. Then I made he so mad yesterday. So …

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3

Where are you love?

  April 23rd, 2009 by Whereareyou143

Ever since my mom died when i was 14 i’ve been depressed. I was a momma’s girl, i slept in the  bed with her till i was 12. Alot of things happened to me as a child. My father left when i was 3 and I was molested by a friend of the family when i was 8. I remember being really shy as a child and scared of everyone and everything. I was constantly teased by my older sisters for being so cringy and i’d cry.  Then one friday morning, after fighting a long battle of breast cancer, my mother died in her bedroom. When she died noone even acknowledged my presence. …

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1

What has happened to me?

  April 23rd, 2009 by howmuchcanibear

I am a 39 year old female, who has worked hard my whole life and up till a few years ago could not have been prouder of where I was, and how far I had came. I have never been in trouble with the law, and have been with my husband for over 20 years, and could never think of life any other way. Till 3 years ago. I had a siezure. I had not had any health problems at all before that, but after that first one, I had 3 more within 2 months. After many, many different doctors, we never found out why. …

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3

From someone who has loved…lost…heartbroken….and is slowly picking up the pieces…

  April 21st, 2009 by kay

In September my mum took her own life, she brought me up as a single teenage mum and made my life as amazing as she possibly could. She went back to school, achieved a business degree and got a great job helping small nurseries improve their business and the standard of child care. She was a beautiful, intelligent, creative, funny, loving and much loved woman…my heroine and inspiration. She also suffered varying degrees of depression throughout her life and tragically last summer had a nervous breakdown – sadly due to the stress of her job and bullying in it. She

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5

It’s Hard to Believe That it Came to This…

  April 21st, 2009 by drearyvampire

Oh god. I hate myself. I hate myself and everyone and everything around me. Where do I start?

My issues started when my mum and identical twin died in my old American habitat. I was 5. Then my dad made us move to England, where I started school. I never fitted in. I was always an outcast. They bully me mercilessly, still to this day. Then in 2008, I met my future boyfriend. His name was Stefan and he was Italian. We were together for 4 months, when I said I loved him. Do you know how painful it is to tell someone you love them and …

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