General

For general topics related to the site.

6

Crazy.

August 25th, 2009by courtney.

I know I’m going to end up doing it one day. I always find a reason to wait, seems the longer I wait the more crazy I become. I feel completely fucked in the head. Always having internal battles with myself. Feeling so happy and normal one day to going into a comatose state the next day. If anything I wish I could just be numb.neutral.

Anything but crazy.

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7

Why suffer?

August 24th, 2009by beautiful_disastor_

I was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago. I went through the chemotherepy, and i stopped responding to treatments. I didn’t know what was going to happen, and I didn’t wanna go through anything like that anymore. The doctors started me out on a new experimental medication, and i was on that for 3 months. Turns out, the medicine didnt help me at all, it actually sped up the spreading of my cancer, and now, i only have like a month left.

Everything is going downhill for me, and I have nothing to live for. I want to die so bad, I hate the pain im …

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6

i dont know why

August 23rd, 2009by sunset_rain

i dont know why but i feel like my world is crashing. my days started to brighten until a few days ago for some reason. The only person that i can talk to about it is my boyfriend. whenever i have the urge i can talk to him and he’ll talk me through it and make me feel better,but now hes gonna be gone for a week because his mom is  going to California. I have tried taking an overdose before and it never worked,and my boyfriend helped me quit that,and is trying to help me stop cutting,but it has been a slow process. it …

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3

some place else

August 22nd, 2009by emily25

Not that I want to be dead, really. I want to be saved. Loved, maybe? Not feel completely alone on this earth. I know there is people off much worse than I, which makes me feel guilty about the way I look at my own life. People without anything really. I have a pretty good job and my family hasn’t completely fallen apart. Slowly it’s fading, but then again, what doesn’t? My “best friend” refuses to talk to me anymore. It’s been a really long time. I don’t think she will forget about anything and I don’t think she will be my friend again even

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2

I hate myself sooo much!!!!!

August 22nd, 2009by kiwigirl41

Hi,

I am feeling quite depressed atm.  I am under a mental health team and have a keyworker and a CSW(community support worker) the latter whom I had a falling out with a few weeks ago.  I feel as though I am being pressured into just putting up with her demeaning  and negative attitude towards me so that I will “keep the peace” between service providers.  I grew up in an abusive household and was also bullied at school, home and then at work, where I remained putting up with insults about my weight, etc for most of the 15 years I worked…… I have tried …

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5

” You think you want to die, but in reality you just want to be saved. “

August 22nd, 2009by attachbutnevercombined

Yes, I am up at 3 am, on a suicide blog, trying to make sense of ANYTHING that is going through my head. I feel completely lost, and emotionless every single day. I’m writing this because I’m afraid. Really really afraid. I finally graduated highschool this year. I anticipatingly dragged myself through my last year hoping with every thing that I had that somehow I would be free from everything once I got out of that place.

I became friends with a girl who was loud, and really didnt have any morals. All my friends hated her. I thought she was simply amazing. She listened to …

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3

August 22nd, 2009by helper

im scared

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2

Newby

August 22nd, 2009by Death by Boredom

So never done this before but fuck it, the spelling and the grammer too. Grew up the oldest of six. Mom probably never wanted me and don’t remember many memories of Dad except for them fighting and all of the unhappiness. Felt like a daddys girl but whatever. Went to church alot when I was a preteen and yes, i still believe in God. Good girl until about 14, started hanging out with loners and troubled kids because I was so insecure that the other kids didnt like me. Always insecure, thats me. Mom and Dad divorced around 10 and mom remarried to a verbally …

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1

lost/trapt

August 21st, 2009by emily25

i feel so lost. my mind is lost in memories of him. im trying to lock my tears inside like my shattered heart. i cant seem to find anything good anymore. i smile but it isnt the same as it once was. it isnt real. it isnt me. i dont know who i am anymore. i still have my life i am just treating it different(as someone told me). i dont want to treat it this way. full of anger, hatred, sadness, envy and tears. i want the friends i had. but i burn everything that is anything to me. i run to the wrong …

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2

August 21st, 2009by mugs

I don”t know what to write. There must be something wrong with me. No one ever stays with me, I try to be nice to people, but for some reason they just hurt me. I don’t want to write anything now. I think i will just take a sleeping pill and go back to bed. I wish I could sleep forever.

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7

Why do I even try?

August 20th, 2009by broken_julie

I don’t want to feel pain anymore. The last year of my life has just been spiraling down into oblivion. I lost my job and now work part-time at a grocery store. I make less than half the amount I used to at my previous job. Because of this job, I am in constant physical pain and have thrown my back out more times than I care to mention. I keep applying to jobs and come in as a finalist for those positions, but never make it as the chosen one. My live-in boyfriend of almost 4 years has a tumor in his brain, no …

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0

Life

August 20th, 2009by Looney

Good evening to all my fellow suiciders and i hope that everything is at your liking.  Times may get a little rough and may cause you to fall short of being victorious but don’t let something as small break someone so big.  Everyone has a special purpose and meaning in life, we all just have to try and solve the mystery before giving up and calling it what it is.  Times may be tough and there are no promises that are promised to you, so don’t wait around thinking that suicide would resolve your issues and cause people to care even more.  Instead write down …

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1

Louder

August 20th, 2009by mffarrow

Tonight during dinner with my friends I left the table and walked away.  I left my wallet, keys, and mobile phone behind.  None of us realised that I wasn’t coming back.  I don’t know where I went, exactly, but somehow I ended up at home.  I must have broken in.

Why did I leave? Where did I go?  When I woke up, my hands were dirty, and there were scratches on my arm.  There was a knife stuck in the mattress next to me, but no blood.

My brain wants me dead, and I am scared.

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0

regressing

August 19th, 2009by helper

Hey guys, been off this site for awhile, i was actually pretty proud of myself, been over 2 months since i have self hurt, or contemplated suicide. that was quickly overturned a few days ago, when i learned i was going to a school, a school that contains a girl that used and abused me. she was supposed to be my best friend, and be there for me, i hadn’t had friends in so long, or really ever for that matter, and she was there for me, hung out with me, and made me feel good. but in all this joy, there were tiny red flags that …

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6

No reason to live, things have only gotten worse.

August 19th, 2009by Krisse

I’m 19 years old, and I’ve been through more than any person should in their lifetime.  I’ve been raped twice, the first was by my “loving boyfriend” when I was 15, he said he loved me, and I believed him.  Because of this, I was stupid enough to stay with him.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, he also physically and emotionally abused me constantly.  My so-called friends knew what was going on, and they just sat there and did nothing.   The best day of my life was October 15th 2006 when I got into a car accident and he was killed.  I thought the …

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6

Suicide :(

August 18th, 2009by MjLover123

Im 13 years old and ive been thinking about suicide for a while now .. my grandad passed away in april and i was a huge fan of michael jackson who died at the end of june .. i keep crying at the tragic things that have happend to me .. i want to end my life so i can rest forever instead of my friends mocking me and saying that im obsessed with michael jackson .. i cant even talk to my best friend about my suicide attempt because shel just get mad and think im being silly .. ive always wanted a child …

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4

It’s been a while…

August 17th, 2009by erased_orion

It’s been a while since i’ve been here….i wonder if that’s a good thing or not. Still, im glad there’s some place i can vent all of this.

Really, i don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want there to be a name for this feeling…Im not sure what i should do next.

I still cut. I don’t know why they just set it aside….im trying to ask for help, really i am. It took a lot for me to take that step and ask, but all they did is ignore it and act like it doesnt matter if i disappeared from the face of the planet. …

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0

to the wounded

August 16th, 2009by Looney

hi to all my fellow suiciders out there.  i would like to encourage you to just read what i have to say.  recently it was drawn to my attention that there were so many suicidal cases through out america even in iraq where all of our soldiers are fighting.   so in all faithfullness i along with many others have dedicated our time to help or talk to those who are going through these episodes.  I am a soldier deploying to Iraq.  please email me when you get the change at virgak47@yahoo.com or google virgak47@gmail.com.  please take this as a way out of realy …

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4

suicide as a hopeful thing

August 16th, 2009by heidi

Hi all, i’m new. i’m feeling suicidal, having been on and off for some time. But for me it is a source of hope. I feel as if the universe is telling me that my presence is no longer required. I can’t find work, i’m running out of money, i have serious health problems and no insurance and i will probably lose my house. my great fear is that i will be forced to live in my car. i think if i was told today that i had terminal cancer i would kiss the doctor. it would be such a relief.

Planning my death gives focus …

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11

My Life is unormal

August 14th, 2009by Unormal life

I don’t want to write a long text.

I don’t want to go to school, I am afraid of failing in School in Life ,being homeless..

I got the choice suicide or not?

I am 14 retoke 7th Grade I am now getting in 8th.

Why am I still alive? What is keeping me from suicide?

For a fact from my life now it’s great, but school is startin and I am so scared, afraid of failing.

I am broken down I am forteen and I still wet the bed.\

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