General

For general topics related to the site.

1

Pain Has Stolen My Life…

January 2nd, 2008by a00013

I had a good life: I am intelligent and ambitious. I have a great family, used to love life and lived it to the fullest. My career soared as well. I moved up from an entry level to a SVP in only a few short years. I was fortunate enough to meet a wonderful wife, inheriting a 3 year old step-daughter and later, a daughter of our own. Our dream was to enjoy life with our kids, have a nice home, travel and perhaps start a business venture of our own eventually.

And then…eight years ago, out of the blue, I began experiencing some …

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0

Respect for the dying

December 30th, 2007by Ender

I visited relatives this Christmas, it was nice to see everyone but naturally I had a few too many drinks one night and let the veneer slip. So at least one other relative knows how fucked up I am. I really have to remember not to drink, it brings me nothing but misfortune. The trouble with being suicidally disenchanted with life is that it’s hard to cover it up, I’ve made choices in the past couple of months that have given away my secret motives, and so now I have jittery relatives worried about what I might do. I regret that, I should have been …

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0

losing sight

December 18th, 2007by jumpdance16

I get in stages like this, In my life which just seem so wrong. I hurt so many people, with no happiness with myself. There are so many things that I want to leave. But so many things I want to move to, but they are so far, there is no point. So I wake up, without a reason. I walk without a back. Why do I stay?

good bye

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0

nothing

November 26th, 2007by cloudedeyes

i know i wouldn’t kill myself. but i feel like disappearing. just for an hour, maybe for a month, maybe forever. so many things are piling up on me. i don’t know how i feel anymore. the only girl i ever truly loved just hurt me ever so deeply. my parents aren’t bad parents, but it seems that everything that they try to do to promote a good relationship isn’t helping. my friends don’t really respect me anymore, and I hardly get any sleep from the amount of work I have to do.

I just want to sit down, take a deep breath and just vanish. …

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0

It Came Back.

November 4th, 2007by Grey.

It came back. That cloud. The heavy, dark, consuming cloud of hopelessness. I have tried to kill myself on two occassions. Both using medication used to treat depression. Both times would have been successful had I not been found terribly drugged up. The second time I had a seizure as a result and lost a bit of my memory. How I wish I had lost more. I was in the hospital for months, “getting better.”. Then I got out, got another job, started upgrading some courses, even started having dreams again. That was a big sign for me that I had made it. I had …

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0

Why am I?

September 9th, 2007by staringbackatme

Am I the anti-norm? How did I get this way? Maybe I’m not just a product of my upbringing. Certainly others have had to grow up under much worse conditions. I had everything I needed. Well almost everything. But is love necessary? I’m finding it hard to remember what it is to be loved. To be honestly appreciated and cared about. A lot of it is my own doing I’m sure. I’ve pushed many people away. Others I‘ve cut completely off and toss them away. Then of course I’ve had friends who have crushed me callously numerous times. Having a low tolerance for others ruins …

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0

a mirror.

September 8th, 2007by codi

There is something terribly wrong here.

I can no longer recognize the face in the mirror.
I dont like waking up anymore..it all seems so pointless. It feels like the darkness that has taken hold of my mind is desperately trying to claw its way out of my skin. Each day it gets harder to fight the temptation. Just end it says the voice.
You know the voice of which i speak. Its a soothing voice. It talks of better places and happiness and peace and relief. It teases you with promises that THIS will make it all better..make it all go away.. …

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0

and in the end …

August 8th, 2007by PairaDizeLost

don’t know why I am doing this .. who cares ? I have made one mess of my life after another. Lost everything that matters. Didn’t realize until too late what is most important in life. Family. Love. Forgiveness. I don’t have any of that. the short version:
I was in a very unhappy marriage for near 20 years. I knew at the beginning that it wasn’t the “perfect match”. But it would do. I thought I would grow to love him. Hard to do when you don’t even respect each other. We had children over the years. So I never left because of the children. …

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0

The Bridge: Looking Into The Abyss

July 27th, 2007by Heatherrr

The Golden Gate Bridge is the top suicide destination in the world. Suicide is not an easy subject matter. My brother died of cancer as a young man, and I was with him when he died. My sister was killed by a drunk driver, and I wasn’t there when she died. In many ways, it was easier to deal with the death that I saw than the one that I didn’t. That is what guided me as I made the documentary The Bridge. In 2004, our crew ran cameras at the bridge for almost every daylight minute, capturing most of the two dozen suicides that …

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2

So exhausted

June 20th, 2007by onedown

As I lie here on the couch [my 19 yo brother gets my room] my favorite feeling has comeback to haunt me.suicide.My whole life has been shit.I mean my brother is my moms favorite (even tho she acts like hes not)and all he does is treat me like scum even tho I bend over backwards 4 him.(BTW Im 15)No girl likes.I mean im not ugly or anything.Point is I just want this pain to end.If anyone thinks im doing the wrong thing plz tell. otherwise im going to end my suffering by thursday.see ya guys on the otherside

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0

Tired of pain of living

June 17th, 2007by sherzn

Each morning I’m disappointed to find that I’m still here. Each day brings such great burden. At the end of the day I have no reward for going through it. I fit the criteria for high functioning autism. I look normal so its an invisible disability. At least I now have a reason for always being unable to make conversation and not fitting in. It feels as if I was not made to communicate. When I try, my attention span runs out on me, and I have to struggle to find something to make the conversation continue. These …

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0

is this what we live for?

May 30th, 2007by themiserymachine

I sit here in this place of quiet and great knowledge. I sit here and I listen to the voices of those around me. Yet, I feel silence. The voices are distant. Far away from me, just like myself. Of course, I hear their words, but they mean nothing, as they have for so long. Until you feel the empty, you don’t know the meaning of alone. You don’t know the meaning of fear. They talk, and they live, and they love. They do not know these feelings that I feel. They do not experience …

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Meaningless

May 19th, 2007by Charly

I’m almost 23. The first time I clearly remember wanting to kill myself was when I was 11. I’ve been wishing to die ever since and pray everyday that it’ll be the last. I suffered a lot in my life (physical & mental abuse, eating disorders, living on the street, working since I was 14 to pay for school and a LOT more…) and I only know pain and sacrifice. I cry everyday, that’s right EVERYDAY. I’m exhausted of having to fake that I’m OK, just to keep my mom and bro happy. It’s tiring to have to watch tv or go shopping or …

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Living

May 10th, 2007by LeenyyCareBear

Whats the point in liveing when all u want to to is die?? i mean if we dont like it here just kill our selfs y dont we i mean its not like the world will miss me. it mite miss u but i dont know soo…y live in a place we dont like ??

plzz answer this!

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0

I just wish it was over

April 11th, 2007by kakky1950

I don’t think I would ever have the guts to do myself in, but I’m so very tired, I have much to be thankful for, but have suffered such loss. My mother died of cancer when I was 17, my father was murdered when I was 32, I am a cancer survivor and a single mother. My daughter is 26 and back home after a failed marriage. Mercifully, there are no children from her marriage, but mountains of debt. I have been at the same job in the county where I live for 32 1/2 years. I have the time …

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0

rational suicide

April 9th, 2007by hollyhock

You know — my marriage and my job are both in trouble, but I know I can navigate these problems…….. there’s nothing that wrong with my life. And there’s nothing that wrong with me.

And sometimes I feel happy.

But no matter what problems I navigate, there are always just more. I can really see that life is never going to “work out”. It will always be a struggle. Any happiness I feel is temporary and unsatisfactory. It never outweighs the struggle.

And I’m just so tired of struggling.

I read all of these “anti-suicide” posts on the web. None of them really address the fact that …

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0

How to die

April 9th, 2007by koala

It’s lousy everyday with pain all over my body. I just want to end it all so that i can start my life afresh. I have no control over this body. Pls tell me how to do it without hurting anyone esp. my family…….

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0

a hollow ring

March 25th, 2007by sha

i feel like killing myself. it is ringing so hollow and so cold. it always return. it hurts so bad. but life is good. very good in fact. there is no need to weep. doting parents, friends, love. yet i cannot feel e love. my heart is fortified. impregnable. that it is so void. i do feel happy. but sadness never fails to return with a vengeance. so much so, i wished i would never feel happy. and fade into the monotony of life. what do you do when your heart is shattered so frequently. why do everyone seem to have a legitimate reason to …

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0

i think about buying a gun

March 11th, 2007by mieshia

i am so tired. i wake up tired and i live everyday tired. i just wish that i didn’t have to do this anymore. i look at my life and i see nothing, i see someone who doesn’t deserve to live anymore. i don’t belong anywhere. i have never had friends and any time i thought someone liked me for me it turned out that they were just using me or trying to manipulate me for their own benefit or amusement. i’ve never been good at anything and i am not smart. i have nothing to offer the world, i just take up space. i’ve …

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0

March 3rd, 2007by Unknown

I attempted suicide about six years ago. Unfortunately for me at the time, it apparently doesn’t matter if you take Ibuprofen by the dozens, you will feel nothing but sick the next day. Sick, but breathing. I was suprised I woke up the next day – sleep felt like slipping away from life, there were no dreams. There was a feeling, for a time, that I was dead and conscious of it. In time, I grew to resent what I had nearly done to my family. I’m depressive by nature, and the fact that, physically speaking, I’m as ugly as one can imagine, didn’t help …

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