General

For general topics related to the site.

2

I CAN’T FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!

  December 9th, 2010 by Anonymous

I have seriously had enough of everyone! I put my trust in someone and they don’t give a shit! I am sick and tired of putting my trust in people! I always end up getting hurt. I always screw things up. I’m sick and tired of being a dissapointment to everyone! I have a very quick temper and I don’t like it when people including my so called “friends” set it off. I feel like I’m going to explode!!!! But can I tell my friends or family how I feel? No, of course not! They couldn’t and will never understand the rage and pain in …

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2

Who gives a fuck?

  December 8th, 2010 by groggy456

Long time reader, first time poster. This is an excerpt from a draft suicide note I have been working on. I think it sums up my situation pretty well:

I have felt like an ant my whole life. Actually that’s not quite right.  I have felt like a maladjusted, ugly, worthless, piss-ant ant my whole life. I never came to terms with it; or better, I never overcame it. Religion enforced it. Because it said i was born a piss-ant and will die a piss-ant and for some reason an omniscient/omnipotent/

omnibenevolent being needed my love for me to become

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1

What’s the point?

  December 8th, 2010 by AloneinKS

I have suffered from depression for many years. I find the best way to deal with it is by keeping myself busy and goal-oriented. Since I was 15 I had a career goal, and at the age of 24 I have finally attained it. I watched my friends drop out of school, become institutionalized, commit suicide, and join the military. Instead, I worked at this goal for 9 years. I maintained a decent GPA in college and graduate school. Now I have moved back to my home state and started my dream job. I should be happy, but …

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1

Reply To #crying on the inside – Depression And Anxiety Has Ruined My Life!

  December 8th, 2010 by Bodhisattva

I am sorry you are suffering from this dreadful disorder also,
You was not born with it, this develops and happens during the first few years of your life. and other traumas that effected you throughout life. i do not know you or what you have been through so i cannot really say. it can also be something purely physical that the right chemical balance, Diet or Exercise, and proper consistant meditation could really solve.
or help

Anapanasatti Mindfulness of breathing ~ Meditation

i suffer from severe  Anxiety / Chronic Social Anxiety, and a few herbs i can recommend could maybe help as it did for me in a very …

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0

Crying and alone

  December 8th, 2010 by Anonymous

Hey everyone it’s Silent23 again. I’m fairly new to this website and it’s helping me a lot. Ok today I am going to vent.

So I really like this girl, more like love her to death, but we are just friends and she has a bf who got in trouble with the law for doing drugs or something of the sort. She used to be a big druggy and now she has been clean for a couple months(for as much as I know) and I really want the best for her. You know, I listen to her, I am always there for her, I care about …

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0

pills?

  December 8th, 2010 by Wonton

Story of my life. read if you want, but don’t pity me.

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1

A G.I’s Quote About Pain

  December 8th, 2010 by Bodhisattva

“Pain is your friend, pain is your ally, it will tell you when you are seriously injured, it will keep you awake and angry, and remind you to finish the job and get the hell home.

But you know the best thing about pain?

It lets you know, you’re not dead yet!”

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0

Forever 15

  December 8th, 2010 by forever15

Kerry if you are seeing these tears,
don’t think of them as a sign of pain.
see them me missing you and loving you.

I hope you’r in a better place
resting in peace.
November 19 , 1993 – Wednesday March 4, 2009

iFuckingLoveyousomuch.
I’ll never forget you.
[tears]

i just wish i could bring you back.
i never been so close to someone or so much in common before.

Kerry Ranney
you were like my other half and will always be.

.iLoveyou. Kerry.
&& i hope all the pain you were feeling has disappeared.

&& Kerry i thank you for making me stronger.
i always feared for the day to come.
that i get the phone telling me that someone i …

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11

Reply To Hattie’s #Question If I May

  December 8th, 2010 by Bodhisattva

..I am no one,

but then again ‘I’ or ‘We’ can never be i am or that..we are everything and nothing

if i may speak in conventional terms than allow me to introduce my self ..

I am a male 25 year old Turkish Cypriot who lives in the uk, i am as they say a “tragic romantic”..a true Goth at heart but i just don’t look like one..a walking contradiction who doesn’t make any sense in an insane and absurd world.

I am a hardcore Nihilist which wasn’t my choice at all,this has caused me allot of pain throughout my life.. think that i have always sensed knowing about Emptiness and …

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2

I need advice? these are my words.

  December 8th, 2010 by forever15

This note is to Kerry Ranney♥ R.i.P

i never really thought about death.
i’v thought about how much pain it would cause a person.

…..i wonder how much pain you have to feel,
how many tears you have to cry,
how many trys of overdosing,
how many hart breaking memories, that replay in ur mind.
not feeling enough love.

Everyday i look at ur pictures, && wonder. why.
&& could i of stoped you.
talked you out of it,
could i prevented it?
anything?

Everyday those questions run thou my head.
Butt Kerry im not mad, im just happy for yu..i guess.
I hope all ur pain is gone.
and ur having all the fun,
in ur new heaven.

iLoveyou kerry.
&& i miss …

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4

Coincidence or what

  December 8th, 2010 by dylan and pretty boy

Just as I’m sending an e-mail to a guy who wants a partner to catch the bus, and responding to a post here about the same thing, I get a call from my doctor reminding me to call the hospital about going inpatient.  Two opposite extremes and I’m not sure which I will do.  I feel oddly more calm about ctb than I do about wasting more energy in getting well, which I can’t see happening.  Too old, too tired, too done.

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9

a question if i may

  December 8th, 2010 by hattie

so… tell me… world.. this world, as i really want to know and hopefully you guys can help me out…

are the people on this site all emo/goth. are you all obviously dark, do you sulk around in black and breakdown alot? of are some of you old… midlife crisis?

are some of you just normal people… disguised as so in daily life with hidden thoughts and feeling here? like who are we?

im just trying to figure out whos here, im just trying to figure out where i belong and weather there are others like me here…

helps me out guys… just post what sterotrype you would clasify …

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2

fuck the world.

  December 8th, 2010 by crash

No one will probably ever reads this, but I still want to tell my story, even if it´s just for myself.

My mom and dad got a divorce when I was 2. They both have their good and bad sides. Basically: dad is narsissistic and mom drinks too much. I had eating disorder when I was thirteen, and since then it´s gotten worse. When I was 17 I was sent to psychotherapy, which has been a great help but tells about how serious eating problems and how deep my depression was, and still is.  I´m 18 right now, and I should have the whole life ahead …

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0

new here

  December 8th, 2010 by mariadonna

hi…i love the home page…tell us your suicide story…..well….my story is it didn’t work….but i’m delaying for now and that is only because my attempts fail…..i’m finding valuable info here. thanks for the posts.

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2

It’s been a wile since I thought about doing it…..and spark of light in the darkness

  December 8th, 2010 by Broken Dreams

It’s been a few months since I posted anything of commented on this website.I think in my last post I was going to go on how I got to be suicidal and when I was going to kill myself but,It seems that my life has taken a 180 turn around.I know that nobody here propley remembers me on this website and if not I’m ok with it.I origanally joined this website to help people out throught their strugles in life and battles with depression however,I was the one who needed help.My proplem was that I coulden’t let go of the countless years of school bulliying …

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2

Worse than death

  December 8th, 2010 by dylan and pretty boy

Visited my psychiatrist today. She thinks I’m ready for inpatient hospitalization. I’m so underwhelmed by the medical community that I really think it would be a waste of time. The thought of going inpatient scares the crap out of me, but it may come down to that or hanging myself with the laundry in the closet. May not be the right place to ask this question, but has anyone had a good experience going inpatient? I say it may not be the right place because if you had a good experience you probably wouldn’t be on this site. Everything …

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2

Staring into the abyss.

  December 7th, 2010 by Inno

Right now, it feels as though I am staring into an abyss, and I have no idea how to get out of it.

I’ve struggled with depression for the past thirteen years. (I’m 24 now.) I have an autistic spectrum disorder, on-and-off severe depression, and possible adult ADD. I’m a student, and don’t have the required education to work in a field that wouldn’t overload me to death, but I can’t just take “any job.” I haven’t had any success applying for long-term benefits because I’ve pretty much received no actual comprehensive help in dealing with these things, and I am TERRIBLE at managing paperwork, and …

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0

Why do we continue?

  December 7th, 2010 by soaffraidlost1234

I ask myself everyday, why people fight to stay alive? I can’t wait for this life to be over. My sister is a 40, I am 41, she has cancer, and given 6 months to live. I am so jealous of her, she is the luckiest person I know.The only reason I stick around this hellish life, is to take care of my kids. They do not have anyone else in the world that would take care of them. I was married to their POS dad for 18 years, and he split, quite his job to get out of paying any child support. The job that he …

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0

sick of shit!

  December 7th, 2010 by satans_princess

After fucking 8 days clean i relapsed and cut again. Life sucks, I mean all i can do is write.  My mom hates me, if i died more than sad she would be relieved. My bro is pretty awesome and it would hurt him but he’s “the golden one” he wants to get into homeland security. My mom’s so proud of him. I’m the disgrace. My dad’s never around. But I don’t care, I hate him anyway. I hope he never shows his face again. If i ever say i’d rather die than blank blank blank, it means shit. I’d rather dietha live. I’m done …

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1

Endlessness

  December 7th, 2010 by a new laptop

My friends, we never meet each other, even I don’t know what your names are. But I know you are there, you are always there. I’m very grateful for your help. Don’t worry about me, my life is OK.

China is my hometown, USA is my husband’s hometown. I love two.

We only have one world. I really hope the world without any more war, no pain, & no sad.

(The “angels” still studying history and psychology…, let it be. I will fly to planet by UFO tomorrow.)

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