General

For general topics related to the site.

1

  July 19th, 2010 by spoiltgirl50

Tomorrow is my 52 birthday and I wish I was not going to be here. My husband lost his job over a year ago, we lost our home, car and etc…! We had relocated to TX with family and was evicted there. I had my “dream job ” in nursing. Now back in MS staying with friends and have not located a job in 3 months. Did I say no car?
Survived years of sexual, physical and emotional abuse. My first suicide attempt was at 8 years wiyh an overdose of asprin. I can’t go through …

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2

razor blade

  July 19th, 2010 by beautiful disaster

The razor blade was nice and sharp

 i wanted to tear my skin apart

i hold it down to my wrist.

i push down hard and give it a woosh.

I cut in every direction till i was sore

the blood poured out to the floor.

i coverd it up with my long sleeve shirt

 hoping that later it wouldnt hurt..

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0

servere depression

  July 19th, 2010 by beautiful disaster

the pain strikes my hand.

as the tears run down my face.

all the past memories that i’ve had with the ones i loved.

the ones thats now in heaven watching over me.

looksing back and seeing all the good times we’ve shared.

and now realizing that your no longer coming back.

yout gone forever, till the day i die.

we will reunite again, and i will be in your arms.

and nothing will ever matter but the fact that i get to see you agtain!

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0

the first last pain

  July 19th, 2010 by beautiful disaster

as a young kid growing up, life has been very difficult.

everyday of my life, i hold in all the pain and misery that takes place.

i pretend nothing ever happens, and everything will be okay.

but what they all realize soon or later on nothing will ever be okay.

life is full of lies and bullshit.

and nothing will ever come together,

so hold your breath and and dont let go.

because its going to be a hell of a bumpy ride.

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0

rain

  July 19th, 2010 by anonymous

It pours, drenching us.

Making puddles .

I can see myself,

In the road,

On the sidewalk.

But not like in mirrors.

It tells the truth.

What we really are,

And what we aren’t.

Some enjoy it,

And others loath it.

But it’s here,

Coming down on everyone,

Make the best of it.

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3

i feel like death

  July 19th, 2010 by anonymous

Im trying to be in a good mood today but its not working very well. Ive been totally  faking all of my smiles this morning, and it doesn’t make ME feel any better knowing that im fooling the people around me into thinking that im ok. Maybe they feel better though. So now they don’t have to worry about me and can get on with their day.  I feel like death and just want to get the idea out of the way, maybe by doing it, but idk.

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3

Nothing seems to work

  July 19th, 2010 by greebogangster

Since the age of 8 I’ve been depressed, when I was 8 I used to say that I wished someone would come along and stab me, I can’t remember why as I’m now 15 but the problem’s still there. About 4 months ago I overdosed on 12 paracetemol, I don’t know why they make such a big deal about overdosing cause you’ve gotta take like 30 for it to effect you. Last night I cut myself and poured ink into the cuts hoping that’d do something, it didn’t. I need something that actually works? I’m seeing a psychologist but it’s not helping at all.

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1

bleh

  July 19th, 2010 by anonymous

I cant seem to get this song out of my head. Its “adams song” by blink 182. It feels kind of perfect for explaining the way I feel. “ I never thought id die alone. Another 6 months I’ll be unknown. Give all my things to all my friends. You’ll never step foot in my room again.” I think that’s the song im going to put on repeat in my room when I kill myself.

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2

Why can’t life ever become worth living.

  July 18th, 2010 by october

I want to say that I’ve never been as stressed as I am now but my whole life has always been so filled with it. I grew up with a skitzophrenic unmedicated mother from age 5-16. My two older siblings are mentally slow and one of my younger brothers suffers from severe autism. I spent my whole childhood in fear of my mother and had a constant worry that she would die due to multiple suicide attemps. I have done everything since adulthood to seperate my self from the constant family stress and create happiness for myself. Instead my mother …

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11

Can’t think straight

  July 18th, 2010 by harry

I’ve been crying all the time for no reason and can’t seem to stop. Yesterday i purchased a helium canister and other items to gas myself. I just want it all to be over. What’s wrong with me? I don’t even know why I feel this way. I’m 33

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3

It’s Become A Dream

  July 18th, 2010 by Codename Dreamer

I have looked through many of these suicide stories. Notes, left from people who were in their final approach to their decisions of suicide. I have read stories of people who have lost loved ones and can no longer go on. I have read about those who have come to the conclusion that suicide is the only way to exit the pain. I decided to share my story. I am now 18. It has been over a year and a half since I had reached my limit.

A few days before my 17th birthday, I had been thinking. You see at the time, I had done …

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8

Tired of the facade

  July 18th, 2010 by neila

For years I have not been happy. I put on the fake smile and laugh along with friends and coworkers. I pretend to be having a blast when in fact I feel absolutely alone despite being in a crowd. I hide the cuts and bruises I give myself, or make up excuses (“fell down the stairs again”)

I have always hated my physical appearance. I have never had a serious relationship, likely due to the fact that my father abandoned my mother and I when I was small and I have had little contact with him over the years. I don’t know how to bond with …

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1

IDK

  July 17th, 2010 by ckay2

i’m sick of  trying to feel happy and pretending to be happy. I’m just going to go to my f****** doctor and get some depression pills. Maybe they will work can i  even get depression pills at 14 idk but if it dont work I hope i choke on them or i might overdose myself on them.

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1

someone kill me

  July 17th, 2010 by maxjib

I can’t believe what is happening to me. I failed my exam for the second time. Why? I’m so ashamed..I worked so hard. I’m so hurt..this has shaken me up really bad. I’ve only got 2 more attempts before I get kicked out. Then I won’t have a job. I’ll be a total loser..even more of a loser than I am now.

How did it come to this? How did my life suddenly spiral out of control like this? I work hard, I try so hard..but it’s not good enough. My heart is broken.

Each day I feel like I’m walking through tar. I don’t want to …

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3

I tried to commit suicide three times already and need help or advice

  July 17th, 2010 by lkpuppeteer

I’m going to be 34 soon and don’t ever feel that I will make it. I have this constant fixation on killing myself and cannot afford medications. I have lost my job, have not worked in over a year. I have run out of money, racked up a huge amount of medical debt from being hauled off in a cop car to the hospital and all I want to do is get on medication and get stable. I had to move in with my parents who don’t understand or even really care about my panic, anxiety, depression and isolation. I …

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1

What would you say?

  July 17th, 2010 by cloud34156

Another Saturday is here and again I’m sat at this damn computer thinking too much…

One thing that popped into my head with the whole suicide thing is this whole idea of life being a test…If suicide counts as you failing this “test” and when you die your brought before some god or being or whatever what would you say…I personally think I’d try to rip it’s damn head off lol…anything that would make you live your life in pain or depression and then accuse you of failing because you decided you didn’t want to deal with it anymore…well it’s certainly not a god as we …

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0

I’ve survived three

  July 17th, 2010 by Juliaslast

Strange thing is I have survived three suicides already….my first big love and my son’s father blew his head off with a 25.06 rifle and then HIS two brothers overdosed within the following year. I took my son from that small town and ran. Been runnng ever since. Can’t run far enough though. They tell me I have PTSD and Anxiety disorder and try to feed me antidepressants but often I can’t afford the damn therapy anyway and no one …I don’t care who they are can ever say they understand. We can never understand each other’s minds. People are all different…like snowflakes. I get told …

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0

my memorial (not)

  July 17th, 2010 by loser7

I recently attended a memorial for a woman who died of cancer in her early 40s. She was beloved by the community which was attested by the fact there were over 700 people in attendance. She obviously was a loving individual as you don’t get that many people otherwise unless you’re a celebrity or famous person which she wasn’t.

If there would be a memorial for my demise there would be very few people. This is notable and in hindsight pretty pathetic really when all you ever believed in was to love and be loved. Well I never did figure that out. How to do it …

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0

toofargone

  July 17th, 2010 by toofargone

Sometimes you’re just too far gone and NOBODY can help…..it’s been a wild ride but tonights the night it all ends….God forgive me

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9

There’s nothing wrong with suicide

  July 17th, 2010 by timetodie

I originally posted this about a almost a year ago and unfortunately I still haven’t worked up the courage to kill myself. Nothing has changed except I haven’t seen a mouse in awhile but if I’m not running the ac, I can  smell dead mice. I didn’t want to rewrite this, so I’m just reposting it. Today is my birthday. I’m 45 today and all I want for my birthday is the courage to end my life.. Or to die in my sleep. My preferred method of death is by drowning. There’s a place not too far my house where I think I could do …

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