General

For general topics related to the site.

5

Lost.without a roadmap..

April 15th, 2010by ScreamingInSilence

I’m 17,I was on celexa afterawhile I was feeling better..I thought I was cured so I stopped taking it and I started doing things tht are unlike myself,I cheated on my boyfriend of three years I was and still am crazy in love but I honestly don’t know why I cheated,he evetually found out and broke up wig me he is now in another relationship and claims he is in love I asked for another chance to make things right but he said sorry and no,all of my “friends” deserted me I feel alone..I was so drowned my guilt I spend a month in a …

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please let God help you

April 15th, 2010by whydiebeforeyourtime@gmail.com

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” – Jesus, Matthew 11:28

hey everyone.

i don’t have too much to say but i’ll start off by mentioning that this post isn’t at all for myself.

there are a lot of people who come to this site and write down their experiences/situations for others to read, but many of us here don’t really receive help.

the only way things fall away from goodness is because of a lack of God. so basically what i’m trying to say is that if you really want to make your life and yourself better, you

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5

April 15th, 2010by RedWine93

I thought that everything will be good for me, but they had to destroy it. Why do I have to come up again after they push me down? Why? I´m so tired of fighting the fight I will never winn. Maybe my lifes goal is to suffer every day life. Who knows? Maybe life is not for me, maybe my goal is to become just a memory of a girl who had a bright future ahead. The people i trust don´t even care about me.
I try to be a happy person infront of the people who push me down ,but I am so tired of …

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1

Help with the site

April 14th, 2010by unknown227

can someone please help me with this site? cus wen i type in this box it dosnt let me type alot of words, sorry im new to this

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4

Dr. Whats-his-name

April 14th, 2010by Violet Blake

My mother took me out of school early today to go see a crisis counselor in some foreign area of town where it looks like everyone lives in constant fear of either being mugged, or molested, or both.

I walked into the counselors office and immediately felt like Alice must have when she fell down the rabbit hole; completely disoriented and completely idiotic.

“We have an appointment at 1:00”, my mother smiled kindly at the lady working at the reception desk.

The lady didn’t smile back, she just took down my information and told us that we could take a seat in the three chairs pushed up against a …

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1

Life of a MS patient!

April 14th, 2010by cinishet

living a life with Multiple Sclerosis is difficult when your own people don’t understand you… I was diagnosed with MS about 6 years ago… life was tough with pain all over the body… people who were all the time suddenly disappeared… then got married to a girl telling her the whole story… at first all normal but she took different reasons for not staying with me… now its ending of the story! BYE!!!

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27

The romance of it all…

April 14th, 2010by z

I am in another sway of emotion these days, seeking the idealization.  There are so many people left behind, the suicide survivors that voice this sadness and displeasure, while never really comprehending our lifetime of sadness and displeasure.  I wasn’t cut-out for all of this.  So when I think of suicide, I tend to not think of the disappointment I will cause the people in my life…I mean, I do, but–lately–there is a bigger chunk of me that idealizes the perfect moment.  That peaceful fade that I have afforded myself–through careful planning–sometime in the near future.  I have my way out, just waiting.  Not and …

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1

Wish I wasn’t here

April 14th, 2010by Stephen C.

I don’t believe that there is some benevolent being watching over us all: Someone who is making sure that in the end we all come out square.

However, I do have a feeling that someone is assigning to me this tremendous pain I feel. What I can’t figure out is why?
Am I that Karmically fucked up?

I didn’t ask to be here. I didn’t ask to be born.

Apathy has become my existence.

I just want to go.

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2

Nothing Helps

April 13th, 2010by thesadgirl

It all start when I was in 8th grade, I had lots of friends but I felt that they were all just my friend as pitty that I’m such a loser. Maybe I was just paranoid because there was a group of boys that I knew since kindergarden and lets just say this:They were total idiots. Middle school ended and I went to 9th grade, High school. One day in the summer my friend Mike was like ” Hey, Miss. Sad I want you to meet my friend Collin. So I said “Sure whats the worst that could happen?” Little did I know that the …

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1

How I feel. =/

April 13th, 2010by Kaylee

Basically, I feel like a useless, worthless, unwanted teenager. My family yells at me all the time, and they say that I get angry at the because of that. I don’t. I get depressed that I make them unhappy. A child that makes their own parents really unhappy should die. ( only meaning me. ) My friends in school have forgotten me, because they don’t talk to me anymore, they have their own group, where I have my tree in the corner of the field. None of the boys seems like me, I really don’t care.
Since they don’t talk to me anymore, I don’t have …

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1

Sevin – Away We Go

April 13th, 2010by Haunts All

It’s, Sometimes it just gets like this, You know
Who’s to say what’s right or wrong?

He walked alone, for such a time,
No fulfillment in existence, Life was just a grind,
So his heart is stone and his soul’s an empty shell He said, “Sevin, I pray for Heaven, while they send me Hell”

But what could I say when I myself don’t know the truth?
I guess the environment we were lyin in had stole our youth
Cause we were hurtin then and in some ways we’re tortured still
Dreams depictin the screams of victims we were forced to kill
And if they only knew how much this man regrets his past
But …

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1

Phoebe Zodiac

April 13th, 2010by Violet Blake

My best friend asked me if I was depressed today.

“Why would you ask me that?” I stopped walking and turned to face him.

Drake looked perplexed, shrugging his broad shoulders, “You haven’t been talking lately and you barely look at me anymore”.

I bit my lower lip, starting to walk again slowly with him by my side.

“No, I’m fine”, I lied.

I could see the expression on his face that meant he was hurt that I wasn’t giving him the truth. I turned away from his disapproving eyes, why did he have to know me so well? I thought I was doing a good job at hiding my doubts …

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0

Fields of Gold

April 13th, 2010by Haunts All

You’ll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You’ll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in the fields of gold

So she took her love
For to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley
We’ll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in the fields of gold

See the west wind move like a lover so
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold
I never made promises lightly
And …

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4

Prison Bars

April 13th, 2010by Violet Blake

School is going to be hell today.

I used to like school, used to like learning about the english language and chemistry, but I don’t anymore. Now school just seems like another prison for me, somewhere people can bombard me with questions I don’t have the answers too, where kids can act like they don’t care if I live or die.

I bet they don’t care, I wouldn’t be surprised one bit if they didn’t care.

I don’t really care what happens to me at this point, I’m just sick and tired of being trapped in this body where I’m not even comfortable in my own skin, stuck …

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17

Do it quickly!!

April 12th, 2010by Quickly1

Best way is quickly; but, have concern for who will find you. Make sure you will be alone for at least 12 hours to make sure you are dead.  There is pain involved.  So, do it quickly.  A gun to the right part of head.  Massive drugs of the right type; problem is getting the right type.  Knife if you can stand the pain to the heart.  Cutting wrists is slow and if someone saves you results in damage.  Good luck!  :>) !!

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4

Really?

April 12th, 2010by saraphynde

Everyone tells you when you think about suicide talk to someone.
I called everyone in my phone.
No one picked up.
My roommate is in one room, watching Lost, and my boyfriend in the other.
No one gives a shit.
Whenever I try to talk to them about this, they just turn their heads.
Whenever I try to talk to my boyfriend about this, he always makes it worse. He says he’s going to call a hospital.
What hospital? What are you doing? Really? I would rather be dead than go to a hospital. The last thing that someone who is suicidal needs to hear is that …

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0

18

April 12th, 2010by stained_with_sin

I continue to struggle with finding a desire to live. I’ve tried to many times. When i was 8 i tried to hang myself, that was the first time i tried. it came and went as a grew up. When i was 15 i lost my virginity to my 21 year old boyfriend at the time. He told me that if you don’t put out older boys won’t want to date you and that if i’m going to be with him i have to do older things. It was the worst minutes of my life. he was on top with all of his weight crushing …

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13

Close, very close.

April 12th, 2010by Stephen C.

I was sitting on the couch today. I had just had a really emotional argument with my pregnant girlfriend. She left; crying. I sat there with the intentions of grabbing my rifle and doing the deed.
I don’t know why I didn’t. I didn’t have any revelations, and there was no divine intervention; I just didn’t do it.

I don’t care about anything except changing the way I feel. I almost can’t sit still anymore because the pain is too great. I feel like I am not supposed to be here, in this situation.

I don’t care about anyone.
I try, but I can’t find any compassion.

I told my …

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3

Nothing Really Matters

April 12th, 2010by Violet Blake

My parents decided to get a divorce today. Well, they’re not really my parents, it’s my stepdad and my mom.
I know I should feel some sort of remorse for him leaving my family, but I don’t, not for my sake anyway. I hate him. I have no reason too, and yet I feel like I do. He’s never hit me, or my mom, or my sister, but everytime he yells at us for the littlest things it feels like he does, it stings so much.
I used to not care, I thought I could take the vocal hurassment because he made my mother happy, but that …

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10

Anhedonia

April 11th, 2010by allthecolorsofthedark

My life is actually not that bad; I have few major tragedies, no horrible history, no awful circumstances.  But what I do have is a level of self-loathing beyond what almost anyone could imagine.  I hate myself completely and throughout every day my internal monologue berates me, telling me how worthless and pathetic I am, what a failure I’ll always be.  Funny enough, I’m somewhat successful; I’m a good student, I have talents and skills, and I’m a reasonably kind person.  But none of that matters because at the deepest level I understand that I am a piece of shit.  It’s one of the most …

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