General

For general topics related to the site.

3

My Final Goodbye

  November 1st, 2009 by canttakethepain

I had it all, I really had it all. For so many years I thought i was the luckiest person in the world. I loved playing football, I loved school and most of all i loved my beautiful mother and my family. What was once a dream turned into a nightmare that just wont stop? I’m a good and quiet kid, why won’t this demon like me alone. The day I lost my mother my whole life has changed. my heart is like a puzzle. I needed my mother to complete it. All my pieces are gone now. I watched my own mother die in …

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0

Dream

  November 1st, 2009 by battle89

I dream a dream where all is well.
I dream a dream where I am understood, I am not called hard-hearted or proud or selfish.
In my dream I am not afraid. I am not in pain. I am not ashamed. I am not alone.

I am not in darkness, but light.

I am loved and loving.
I am free.

Ahh…but reality beckons and the shadow swells.
The pills look more and more alluring.
THINK. If I take these pills I won’t ever have to wake up and maybe…..just maybe…I’ll dream a dream, forever.

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0

Teenagers… the facts…

  November 1st, 2009 by SiLvEr_PoIsOn

Okay so… most adults think that teens are like… “that kid who went and got drunk and went off driving for the fun of it…”. That we’re just over reacting to things and that we don’t understand how lucky we are or whatever. But you know what, i do know, well, not entirely but i’ve heard, i’ve seen, i’ve thought. I may not be in other situations , but i know. I AM lucky, but there are also things that aren’t happy in my life, as there is in probaly everyones. Teens aren’t just “dumb kids” or foolish. I wonder how many adults actually think …

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1

please let me help

  November 1st, 2009 by whydiebeforeyourtime@gmail.com

hey everyone.

i don’t have too much to say but i’ll start off by mentioning that this post isn’t at all for myself.

there are a lot of people who come to this site and write down their experiences/situations for others to read, but many of us here don’t really receive help.

the only way things fall away from goodness is because of a lack of God. so basically what i’m trying to say is that if you really want to make your life and yourself better, you need Him, and you need Him more than just an hour a week.

if you’d like to talk about Him or …

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6

i’m in major depression . crititical stage .

  November 1st, 2009 by RunningInHeels

i wanna die, dear peoples.

i’ve been abused emotionally and physically by my brother whom now i didn’t consider him as part of my siblings anymore.

i’ve lost my beloved and loving father in 2006. and i felt like he took away my happiness with him too.

i hate seeing my mother keep back ups that bloody brother even though he didn’t finish his studies and now he still unemployed and he’s staying with my mother’s money!

i feel like i wanna shoot him!

i feel like i wanna kill him right now!

i wanna see him die!

my bf also just left me.

i’m alone and i hate life.

life is so unfair.

i …

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4

hate life

  November 1st, 2009 by Razorbladekiss

im 17,lesbian.This halloween was the 1st i felt i had absolutly nothing.I hate like,i hate liveing. Nothing matters anymore.I try to smile to please other, its all fake.I hate wakeing up every morning,wishing for death..attempted 8 suicides already. idk what to do now

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4

My First Empty Halloween

  October 31st, 2009 by steveagain

This is the first Halloween of my life I spend alone. No friends, no girl…just me. Alone.

I fear for Thanksgiving. And Christmas. How will all of these holidays work out? Personally, I just can’t wait for the new year. A new year is a new beginning, I hope.

Someone email me. I’m not suicidal…I guess…but I’m alone. I need someone.

variousartists_ftw@yahoo.com

 

Happy halloween…I guess.

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4

Made too many mistakes

  October 31st, 2009 by Dspen

I’ve never had a lot of friends, but I’m more alone now than I have ever been.  I lost my best friend a few months ago because I got angry again and said some horrible things, only this time she didn’t forgive me.   She was the closest thing I have ever had to a girlfriend.  But she has moved on and never wants to see me again.  I lay awake at night remembering all the good times we had, how I would have done things differently , how many times she forgave me for being stupid and immature.  It’s driving me crazy.  After she left …

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2

A Soul Without Words

  October 30th, 2009 by andrewk5

Well its kinda hard to express my depression and how it affects my life . I so mad that I messed up my life with drugs and cold hearted people who could careless if you rolled over and never came back.Iam unemployed right now, so that doesn’t make it any better, I have a three month old son that I can’t even take of because I just can’t find my way.I feel as if my soul is some where else ,where ? I don’t know but my life is not right, I can’t sleep at night , My girl friend is just not into to …

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5

A choice

  October 30th, 2009 by Daniel21

If u dont know what is happenin 2 me just read the post Help Me! But i have got a really fucked up choice 2 make. I have missed school because i am depressed….but not just a few days, months at a time. I lied and made it sound like i had IBS, but now they are goin 2 do tests on me in 3 days. I no that the results r gunna show no trace of IBS, so my parents r probably gunna freak out, and if they find out that i missed school cuz i am depressed i am probably going 2 get …

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0

my life

  October 30th, 2009 by laptop63

oh what i wouldn’t do to have the courage to get the hell out of this hell hole world….. i hate my life,the struggle, the selfpity, self hatered,the guilt of my past,the fear of the future.

its a cold wet day in ireland as i write this..i just left my lovely girlfriend in bed & came back to my empty house…

i hate this aloneness i feel most of the time.a feeling i’ve had since i were a kid, & now @ 46 i feel like a kid still.

i want my family to want me.accept me,love me ect..but they never have and never will, the adult side …

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0

Surrounded by Misery

  October 30th, 2009 by kja611

I am drowning in my feelings. Little insults feel like punches to my chest. I obsess over everything until I end up having a panic attack. I am being dragged down by my negative feelings. How do I just let this go? How do I have a carefree attitude about some things? Why do I over analysis everything? Plus, when I start to analysis things again and again, I start to blame myself even when it was never my fault.

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0

please let me help

  October 29th, 2009 by whydiebeforeyourtime@gmail.com

hey everyone.

i don’t have too much to say but i’ll start off by mentioning that this post isn’t at all for myself.

there are a lot of people who come to this site and write down their experiences/situations for others to read, but many of us here don’t really receive help.

the only way things fall away from goodness is because of a lack of God. so basically what i’m trying to say is that if you really want to make your life and yourself better, you need Him, and you need Him more than just an hour a week.

if you’d like to talk about Him or …

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0

Wondering??????????

  October 29th, 2009 by ZebraStrips

I sometimes wonder what it all for. Life that is. It’s so simple when your a kid and then in one moment it all changes. And part of you wants things to go back and be the way they were. But another part of you says that things can never be the same. That life will always be this way. Which bring me back to Why? Why are here? Does matter that we are here? If it does matter, then to who? I am finding it hard to care about things. I am scared that one day I will wake up and not care about …

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3

Solitude…

  October 29th, 2009 by SiLvEr_PoIsOn

So, it all started like… 6-7 years ago. I was 8 or 9 and it was winter. I lived with my mom, my dad and my sister Hillary. We had decided to go on a family sledding adventure to the park, whoopie. So things in my family we’re…. okay. My father loved my mother and she loved him, and they loved us and we loved them. Woopie love, anyways. My dad was and still is a strict rather irritatingly pesimistic father, like many parents are. He sometimes would hurt my sister, not alot but enough to make her cry, and make me scared. My mother …

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2

No longer wanted

  October 29th, 2009 by Tookie

I am confused and tired.I just turned 18 and am ready to die.Most people are just starting their life and I feel as though I already lived it.Let me explain…I was given up at birth.My mother didn’t want me and my aunt took me in.She loved me and I grew up to be a happy toddler until my mother grew jealous and took me back at age six.My mother has a servere drug habit and I recall days when she came home too drunk or high to function.I would take care of her then.Me a little six year old taking care of a grown woman.I …

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5

unbelievable

  October 29th, 2009 by anotherone

I am a mother of 2. I’ve been told that I am a bad mom because i make my children listen. My son ran up a 400 dollar phone bill and my mother said I was bad because I was and am making him pay me the money back by working off the money (sweeping the floor, cleaning his room by himself and so on.) I just recently realized my husband has a horrible sex addiction. My father (my one person i could talk to about anything and he would help) Passed away on the 6th of Aug. This is just too much pain …

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2

NRTL # 4

  October 29th, 2009 by DEADALREADY

I don’t have much to lose. I don’t see how I can gain anything I need While stuck in this body.
My needs/desires are tearing me apart. I can’t handle seeing all the happy people holding hands with their significant others
while I am still alone. I feel like a man who has been lost in the desert for a long time with nothing to eat and everybody is waving food in front of my face, real close to my face so I can smell it, everything but touch it or taste it. I am convinced that there is no girl (who I would find acceptable myself) …

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0

Dead and Bloated

  October 28th, 2009 by jf79

For some reason, today that is all I can think about, that STP song Dead and Bloated.  Im not entirely sure why, today has been better than most.  I got more tattoo work done today, that is what I do instead of cutting myself, that and heavily self medicate.   I feel like I have something to write, I just don’t know what it is.   Maybe I don’t really have anything to say.   I could just be so ego driven that im sure I have something important to say…….or I could just be tired of having something to say.   Maybe there is a difference.    Maybe I …

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5

Just want to go away

  October 28th, 2009 by leavingsoon

I am so relieved to have a place to pour out the feelings. I have been feeling VERY suicidal for a couple weeks. Sunday I half-assed tried by taking a bunch of my husband xanax, drinking some wine, and taking a bath. I really hoped I’d fall asleep and drown but it didn’t work. In fact, I ended up getting the best night’s sleep I’ve had in a long time. (So, much for all the warning labels)

See – my husband seems to have a mental condition that is getting worse and worse. Somewhere between bipolar and multiple personalities. He also seems to be this little …

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