I Will Survive

I did this, you can too.

2

To those who think they are alone in pain.

March 29th, 2011by Latika

To all of you who have experienced heart ache, disappointment, abuse in multiple forms, and raised in drug centered families. I know you. Not personally, but emotionally. I was suicidal since I was  a toddler, but at that point my actions weren’t consider to be that of a depressed child. Doctors said I was just a frustrated child with pent up energy because i wanted to hurt everyone, including myself. I was too young to realize what it is i felt and why.

Growing up my dad wasn’t there, mom said he was a work-aholic, while he says she was a drug addict. Both were true. …

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2

Olive Eyes

March 29th, 2011by Latika

Oh, olive eyes of drowning seas!

Please, don’t stare

with such intensity…

The hurt and pain,

the endless guilt

that those soothing eyes

soon smolder silt.

Heat and passion

ask such a toll,

calling for my endless role

in hate, fear, and desperation

Relinquishing my compensation.

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2

Motherhood

March 28th, 2011by Latika

They never knew

and never saw

the endless fear

engulfing us all.

A fear that stuck

and stained like ink,

rich with worry,

lies and deceit.

She lied to me

and also to you,

knowing we were all

just empty fools.

Willing to ignore,

forget, and abuse

that happiness she once knew.

She gave and gave,

while i just took.

A little fool

who was easily shook.

She finally gave

one last time,

but instead gave herself

that bloody …

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1

i’m nothing

March 28th, 2011by seespoombah

I have been depressed since the 9th grade, and I’m 21 now. It really blows. I think about killing myself often. I honestly don’t know how I am still alive

I got in a pretty bad car accident in January, but I didn’t die. I didn’t even get hurt. I felt bad then, because the night before I had been thinking about killing myself…I didn’t do it on purpose

I’m an awful person. My therapist tells me otherwise and logically, I know it’s not true, but I can’t help believing it.

I don’t have many friends. I used to have some friends, but now I’m living at home …

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5

a thousand times I’ve failed, still Your mercy remains

March 24th, 2011by mangomango

When I wanted to die, I used to stand by the side of the road and think about how easy it would be to walk in front of a big truck and get mowed down. I figured it would be quick and easy, except I felt bad for the driver and what they’d have to deal with.

I went to the hospital once because I was so low and I couldn’t stand living that way any more. I didn’t want to die, not really, but I wanted to stop feeling like life wasn’t worth living. I wanted to stop waking up to a sick stomach, stop …

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1

Suicide is out of reach

March 22nd, 2011by KevinThorn

Hey, I feel bad about posting on here, mostly because im not a druggy or have a particularly bad life. Im a 19 year old college student with a loving family. That being said i do hate myself and have tried to kill myself numerous times. I cut myself every other week or so, always in hidden areas like shoulders or thighs and always disinfected with rubbing alcohol at least 2 times a  day until they heal over. Ive taken every type of anti depressant possible, seen over 20 psychiatrists/councilors and I never seem to feel better. It feels like ive been given so much, but i can do …

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7

I Need You..

March 22nd, 2011by Skrattt315

Hey Guys..

It’s me again. I forgot to tell you my name last night. It’s Ashlie. I’m from California. And right now I really need some help. My mother and I got in a huge fight today at dinner, because I’ve been being harassed at school. Some kid threw a syringe at me in 1st period and told me that I was nothing better than a junkie. And over the past two weeks, the same kid and many more of his friends have been touching me and just being complete ass holes. I guess I’m writing to anyone who’s willing to listen because I’m really feeling like

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3

I survived a bullet to the brain

March 21st, 2011by holenhead

In 1995, I attempted to take my own life by, of course, blowing my brains out! If I had known then, what I know now, would I have done it? The answer is yes and no. Yes, because it forced me to get help and to change my life. No, because I am partially paralyzed on my left side and never will know if my life really would have gotten better if I could have just hung on a little longer. 

16 years later, I am sufferig from some small amount of PTSD over the event and now am having to deal with it all over …

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3

Chokers, cutters and… Nutters???

March 21st, 2011by RogueShadow1281

What the fuck is a nutter, first of all? Also, I am not a cutter, but wish I was one, but I’m also a *****. I choke myself instead and write depressing shit. Choking, not as in choking a chicken, or masturbation, but as in my own neck. I asphyxiated myself with my hands on my neck. Only problem is I can’t find anyone that’s the same. I feel even worse, jk, but I am pretty pissed off I can’t find people who do the same thing as I do. I check google, but only found celebrites doing auto-erotic shit and suicide methods. I want …

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0

A quote for when I am sad. Helps me not cry in public… T_T 

March 21st, 2011by RogueShadow1281

Ryan Smithson, Ghosts of War, quoted.

” I comptemplate crying, but that seems useless. What does crying ever really do for us? It doesn’t solve our problems. It doesn’t solve problems. It doesn’t make us run faster or shoot better. If anything, crying only delays our solutions to the problem.” 

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1

A dream of the love of my life who broke my heart by saying no…

March 21st, 2011by RogueShadow1281

(I use the notes section of my iPhone like a journal… I love this dream, wish I could sleep and re-dream it…)

Today, I had another dream about Nycolle. I don’t feel angry, or annoyed, but slightly happier. 
  It started out random, I was walking through a mall and ended up naked, then wore my blanket I was sleeping in an hour ago. I ended up at a game store, buying a random game, my mom came through the door took the game and disappeared. I walked with another naked dude and we talked, don’t remember, but I ended up having clothes on and went to his …

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4

Just Another Statistic..

March 21st, 2011by Skrattt315

I’ve been through it all. I’m not kidding. Sit down and read this. I’m not a fake. I’m 15 years old and surprised as hell that I made it past 13. Since I was 12, I’ve been through rapes, murders, suicides, jails, hospitals, addictions, heartbreak,prostitution, eating disorders, honestly, everything. (If I left something out that you’re struggling with, let me know.) I’m currently still cutting. And I just got out of Juvenile Hall about 3 weeks ago, for the fifth time. The last time I cut was yesterday. I’ve thought about suicide everyday for the last 4 years. I wake up and think of ways to die. I

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7

All for you.

March 17th, 2011by snoochiez

Images burnt into the mind,
The scar leaving what’s behind,
Taking once what was mine.

I see a dark gloomy future of the past,
Asking myself if this will ever last,
Stuck in this endless void,
Within it is my trapped joy.

Screaming louder,
Not even you can hear,
Digging to find a single tear.

If you see me laugh,
Will you call me insane?
I’m just stuck inside this brain.
Is it so hard to ask for?
Your love?
My pain?
I love you.
No matter how much it rains.

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5

Hope.

March 16th, 2011by Bella16693

I was sexually abused at a young age for a period of time. I’m now 18 years old and through out my childhood/teenage years I found it hard to trust people, I am also depressed for as long as I can remember. I met my boyfriend at the age of about 12 and after 3 years I trusted him enough to start a relationship. This relationship last 2 years, I was in some parts of my life content because of my relationship. In August 2009 I found out my boyfriend had been sleeping  with another girl for 2-3 months starting in April. I was devasted. I forgave him. …

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4

Suffer

March 14th, 2011by RogueShadow1281

Let me rant on again…
I’m a 16 year old male from California. That should do you enough good, right?
This planet, this beautiful (or my image of the paradise it was portrayed as) earth inhabited by life. Also inhabited are evil, greedy humans. They are parasitic creatures that prey on this planet’s resources and each other. I fully understand that there are good people, who make you think different, but think about the majority of the people, the evil, vile creatures. These people deserve to suffer, but why not let them suffer without me. I would much rather be dead than to suffer, but I …

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5

Goodbye life

March 12th, 2011by What the hell happened to me

I’m going to kill myself. I don’t know when. I don’t know how but Im going to end this. I just have to write it all down for my 2 sisters that I’m not related too. That’s all that’s keeping me here now. I was religionish before but god’s gone silent.

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11

Maybe this isn’t the answer

March 12th, 2011by Quiet.Star

Life’s a *****. I know that, yet I still sat on my ass and hoped for change. Life’s a harsh mistress and shows no mercy; yet I recently learned I want to live. Watching the images of the tragedy in Japan makes me realize how lucky I am regardless of how shitty my life is now. I think I’m going to become an activist or journalist; it’s the only way to repay the kindness I’ve recieved here on SP is to persevere through obstacles, excel in life, and help others in need.

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3

Leave me out with the waste.

March 6th, 2011by lixie

Now, I’ve heard by many that if you write a diary, you get your thoughts sorted out on paper, and you can look at it afterwards, and it’s supposed to be good therapy.

So this will be my diary.

Today I felt really happy. My favourite football-team won against a rival that they haven’t beaten for a long time.
I smiled, I laughed.

Now I’m unhappy, and keep finding excuses not to cut myself, although I haven’t cut in almost 2 years now. I wanna cry, cuz I think maybe that will release some of the stress I’m getting because of this.
But I’m broken. I can’t cry. I’ve been …

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7

Value of Life

March 6th, 2011by Heldogtertjie

I was planning to commit suicide for quite some time. And on the 17th of February 2011 I decided that it was time. I arrived at college at about 13:00, just before my class started and told my friend I was going to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and took a handful of my anti depressants with some alcohol.
When I noticed it wasn’t acting quickly enough, I decided to cut my jugular with the blade of an NT cutter. All this time my friend got pretty worried about why I was taking so long, so he asked the receptionist, who was sitting outside, …

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2

Demise

February 27th, 2011by RogueShadow1281

My demise… I wish there was something I could do to be remembered, but I am just lost. I wasted so much precious time playing video games, going to school, all that crap. That doesn’t mean I’m already past all that. I’m still wasting time. Wish I could go down with a bang, but I won’t, unless I suicide with a pistol of some sort. Hopefully a Colt… Or maybe a Revolver, just so my neighbor will remember how his favorite gun killed someone he knows. Ha, anyways I want to live and die fighting. I want to lead an army of outcasts(or some army) …

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