He looked in her tear painted eyes
He saw past the lies
The I’m fines
The cries
Fake smiles
All the things that were vile
He looked at in her eyes
Said
Your not broken just bent
Everyone has their dents
Mine you have not seen yet
My Suicide Note
hey just an intro, Iam a girl and Iam 18. its been a while since ive talked to someone about all these feelings ive been getting lately. Iv been sad for such a long time now, its been years since I felt truly happy, and it really saddens me cuz I actually want to get better but I just cant, I hate this feeling of not knowing where I stand in life, I see all my friends go to college, get married, move on with their lives and I am over here crippled, not knowing what to do. The pain started off as emotional but […]
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I had a birthstar reading done for me and apparently for 17 years, 17 fucking painful, disappointing, abusive, heart wrenching, miserable years of struggle. I have been and am still going through the effects of a bad planet. So from the age 4 to 31 my life was destined to be bad. I pay money that I dont even have to get prayers and rituals done for me but I dont feel any better, just scared and full of anxiety. All I am told to do is pray and chant, but I dont feel any better. I must […]
I stare up from my casket where they lay me to rest
I watch my family as they place roses on my chest
In a blurred second i experienced all the joy they gave to me
I do regret the rest of their lives that I won’t get to see
Please friends and family, dry all your tears
I will always be with you, so please have no fears
I hear them say how they never saw it comin’
how I was so happy,and they wish they could’ve done somethin’
I still remember all the pain I had inside
all the hopelessness, sadness, and anger […]
Im writing here because I really don’t know where else to turn. There’s people around me that I want to reach out to, but the thought of doing that seems worse than dying…when I was a kid I was around a lot of things that disturbed and distraught me, so in order to cope I turned something off inside of me so I wouldn’t care and these things wouldn’t bother me anymore. And they beer did again, but it came at a great price. I’ve lost passion or interest for anything, and I’ve lost the ability to trust and communicate with others on a genuine […]
My father died when I was 9, cardiovascular issues. My stepfather went to prison for 15 years when I was 12. My mom has struggled ever since to make ends meat. I’ve never had a father figure growing up. My grandfather has had various heart open surgeries, he’s had cancer and now I’m Seeing signs of amnesia. He can pass away any time of any day. My mother has a couple issues, she just found out her cancer tests came out high. I don’t know what to do in life. I dated this one girl, Shannon. I thought she was the one for me. She […]
I thought I would become normal? I thought I would my life would be special and important? I realize now I was wrong. I’m damaged in a way that is not fixable.
It all started when I was just about 3 years old. I have memories of my mother loving me in a ways mother isn’t supposed to love her own flesh and blood. She was my molester, she touched me in ways that I did not know were appropriate. I thought her affection towards me was normal. I had no idea my mother was sick and committing a crime […]
hello there.
my name is Ian, i’m 18 years old. I hate myself. i’ve been cutting myself since 13, but i’m not even remotely an emo. it just calms me down. it was okay, but tonight i thought that maybe just self-harm is not enough. i had this picture of me inside my head where i lie on my bed, bleeding to death, listening to my favorite album by Swans.
my mother despises me. unlike my two perfect brothers, children that she made with the man she loves, not my father. she hates my father. and me. my father doesn’t remember me. haven’t seen him for 15 […]
I feel like I’m losing you but you’re not even mine.
You’re going far away from me and I can’t reach you. Not even a little.
You’re the sun. And I’m the moon. 
When you’re up I’m down.
And it feels like dying. It feels like hell. 
I guess, I need to let you go away.
Who remembers ever talking to “lmarc“??
Everyone else going out with their group of friends. I’m not, because I don’t have any true friend. I’m twenty, and in college, i met two friends, but one was a backstabber, so we’re not friends with each other anymore, so left one friend, but this one friend who stay with me till now, she never made any effort to go out or hang out with me, and it’s been 3 years, so i feel highly that there’s something wrong in this friendship. If she considered me as her friend, not just in college, then why can’t she asked me? because every time i did […]
I always thought of changing my life style and everything, before beginning of something big like college, job. I tired my best to fit in to there college lifestyle, I did make a lot of friends i was happy but after few weeks something happened i don’t know what all of a sudden everyone started to think of my as clown, Started picking on me but i didn’t say a word against them and that made things even worse, which made me talk of the town literally as i live in a town. you see the same faces everyday. which gave people the opportunity to talk shit behind my back. I can fell […]
Humans aren’t born with an innate sense of fear, we’re taught to fear things in life. I fear knives and falling; and for that very reason opted to not take my life that way. But bleeding to death and falling from a significant height is not only fatal, but you pass out relatively quickly or die instantaneously. They’re methods that I’ve been avoiding because of my stupid fear of driving the knife through my abdomen or free falling to the ground. Fuck the plastic bag and struggling! Fuck the tight closet that is completely useless! I’m going to stab myself and whether I become […]
I’ve tried it as a method of suicide. I couldn’t get past a liter without feeling like I was drowning myself in a tasteless liquid. I’m tired of trying all of these methods and getting no where! Its not that I’m half assing my attempt’s because plenty of people die doing a lot less, I’m simply unlucky. I need to find a way to get luck on my side soon, before I’m torn from the only thing that I have left.. my apartment.
I drink cause I’m dry. Of the tears I have cried.
I’m a twenty two year old girl, no I am not a lesbian, nor am I bi-sexual. I am however trapped in the closet. My plastic bag over the head method failed me for the last time. I couldn’t control my body from ripping out of the handcuffs and ripping the bag off of my face. Sheer willpower wasn’t cutting it.
So, I’m trapped in the closet. Its a tiny closet that I’ve locked myself inside and am hoping to pass away in. If I’m lucky I won’t be awakened to my sad life in the morning. If I’m lucky this small, tight limited oxygenated […]
I look at what choices i have. i can let it take me under or fight back. ive fought for a decade or more. my insides are shutting down like its preparing for the worst. ive researched meds that can be lethal. i look one last time and ask myself who is out there to care for someone like me. im on my death bed but im the captain. im ready.
I didn’t successfully attempt my suicide last night. I had my beers and accidentally got too drunk, threw up, and fell asleep. I have all of the basic materials to complete my task. A bag and rope for restraint, is what its come down too. I’ve tried so many methods in the past that I clearly failed at. I’m so disappointed that I’m even writing this now and not just murdering myself.
I just need the sheer willpower to withstand the agony involved with asphyxiation. I’ll have it soon..
I don’t know where to go from here. Last night my mother found my instagram page. It had nothing bad on it but she freaked out. Look at my account is Mozar121. Anyways then she wanted to all of my accounts to everything, my email, facebook, everything and when I told her no she didn’t like that and told me to move out. I said I will if that means I don’t have to see you and then I was walking out the door when my dad showed up. We talked for a while which I never do but I told him somethings I’ve never […]
No need for fancy explanations. I wish to die, and I’ve chosen dehydration as my way to go. I just wanted it to be known somewhere that my death was voluntary.