Rants

1

Does it even matter

  September 3rd, 2018 by PanicRevelation

Does it even matter anymore? honestly it never did.

I tried so hard and so hard to die but each attempt failed leaving me here. So many years wasted.

How much more shame can i build up.

I thought maybe appreciating the small things in life would lead me to a happier life. after every failed jump and drowning and overdose. After bleeding out and forced into therapy for years and years at a time. I still feel so empty inside. Nothing has helped. I just want to die but even that has proven to be useless.

So I thought dying in a different way would be more effective.

More …

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1

Have you ever had?

  September 2nd, 2018 by TakeYourPillsX

Have you ever had that feeling when you wake up you still felt Tired?

Like you just want to sleep for eternity,but you can’t because you’re afraid the nightmares will haunt you again and again…

Have you ever had the feeling when everything is just a blur now?

Like the teacher you’re listening right now sounds like static?

because you’re still tired of all those sleepless nights?

Have you ever had the feeling when what you enjoy seems a little bit dull and lifeless now?

Like reading those adventurous books and the games you play?

Most of All…

Have you ever felt like you’re on the edge?

Waiting for the right moment to explode?

Have …

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4

I’m so unsure of what to do anymore

  September 2nd, 2018 by Snowmxn

So I’d like to preface this with explaining a bit about me. I’m 17, and I’ve been extremely depressed for 3-5 years. It really started in 8th grade, and I’m about to be a senior in high school, so I guess like 4 and a half years. I love videogames, and overall I think I have a pretty good life. I’ve been in psychiatric facilities 6 times, having been hospitalized 6 times I’m pretty familiar with mental illness and I’ve helped countless people along the way. I haven’t been hospitalized in around 8 months now, and I was hoping I wouldn’t be ever again. However, …

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0

Precognition of Pain

  September 2nd, 2018 by Yikrens

it’s okay that everyone turn missing for a little, for a short, for long, for ever.pretending soon or close to have born alone, to be raised alone, to learned alone and to loved alone, cried alone and married alone.

to have fucked alone, till I found myself in a lie, one of which the wreck turned to recover and inserted in this world alone that suddenly I turned insane to not been at all alone.

but all I meet, anyone there is getting me to know is fading out life.

the world is yet not close to understand, healed. corruption is raised and cultivated. any declaration destroyed and …

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16

What if there is no exit?

  September 2nd, 2018 by Yoges

Lately been thinking about possibilities of afterlife. Damn I hope religion got it all wrong. I can’t stand an eternal life promised to good christians or heaven with virgins guaranteed to true muslims.

Spookiest of all is reincarnation by bad karma. It says that if you commit suicide, you return in next life to a similar condition as past life. If you do it a second time, you return a third time and so on. Over and over again until you finally get your act right.

I need someone to prove its all bullshit, that when I die, I cease to be. Mind dissolves as brain disintegrates …

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2

All Suffer All Pain All Humiliation

  August 31st, 2018 by Yikrens

It are happening circumstances which are questionable at all.

All of my 4 Bikes are broke, one has kicked till the Wheel can’t turn anymore.

My mother probably lost her work because I had worked little there but broke the rules.

My Dad lost an entire Nail and is pretending that it’s an old wound. Tbh I didn’t saw it anytime before in my Life.

My Granddad died when I was in a Country where Me or my relatives never had been before. As urgent it was, I’ve been kept forcefully in the Country.

My Grandmother turned psychic and died. It is as if I brought our family all this …

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2

Redact

  August 24th, 2018 by Feiyuin

I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I want to die I …

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6

  August 22nd, 2018 by 678543212

My thoughts are so disjointed I can’t even write without losing what I’m trying to say but after all I still try anyway. Trying anyway, but trying is kind of pointless. Everyday I wake up and I try but everyone around me doesn’t understand anything I say I feel like I say so much and speaking is just sounds in anyway and words are all lies in the end. I don’t know. I get help, I got help, maybe I should get more, but I can’t get help because I can’t help myself, as I lie all the time like words are lies and I …

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5

Irrationality in a Nutshell

  August 22nd, 2018 by robieli

The fact is no rational thought I have will be my own. It will be what I was told to say. If I say for example: “Life is worth living”, that is other people saying that. I don’t think that, I think life and people are terrible, and no one should of been born in this ball of hell.

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2

A year of Suicidal Ideation

  August 21st, 2018 by lostsoul21817

August 21,
Today is the day where it all started.The day where my seemingly happy life started to shatter and fail miserably.Until the age of 17,I’ve only heard of depression but I’ve never experienced it.One year later,I’m heavily depressed and on the verge of suicide.It’s funny how life changes in just a matter of days.

One year of living with depression has taught me many things in life and it also taught me not to trust any Fuckin’ bastards and bitches.The pain may fade away,but you will carry the bruises until your very last breath.For a few weeks,I’ve been able to suppress my suicidal ideation for sometime.

I’m …

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6

I am fatigued

  August 21st, 2018 by ariusversea

School is starting soon.

I wasted my summer working to try to catch up to her.

She’s probably on vacation on some island somewhere, basking in the sun and blue waters.

I wasted my summer. On her. And she doesn’t even know.

I’m tired. Exhausted. Burnt out before I was even turned on.

I want to go back. To when I was 12 and I just wanted to die because I feared the future. Because I knew it would be bad and I would have responsibilities but I would never be enough and I would be stuck being insufficient but depended on.

And I was right.

I …

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2

Back at it again on my BS

  August 19th, 2018 by SuperSoup

I never got therapy like my parents said I would. I’m starting to cut (it’s not deep and looks more like scratches but I’ve never cut before). At least I stopped “drinking” antifreeze (I found out it was actually coolant because I’m so fucking stupid I can’t even hurt myself when I want too). Whenever I feel like shit I keep making plans for my suicide. So far I’ve chosen a date and time, a method, a place, and, today, my last words. I don’t know when or if I should talk to people about the root causes cause they really can’t do shit to …

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9

Misunderstood

  August 18th, 2018 by HearMyBrokenHeart

I’ve never posted here though I’ve thought about it before. Scrolling through the stories of those who seem down, heartbroken, or even suicidal… Today, I will finally post, as I once again feel misunderstood and left unheard.

I tried to kill myself Tuesday. My mind raced as I left work and went out to a spot I had pictured before, but not without stopping by my apartment for a knife that I wasn’t sure would complete the work – but at least enough to try. I had texted my therapist, who I wrote a short text, one she labelled cryptic, as my mind was made up …

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3

reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

  August 18th, 2018 by niki

reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

I hate reality , reality is boring !
I hate real life , real life is boring !
I hate real world , real world is boring !

I wish I live in movie / movies , I wish movies were real
I wish I live in video games , I wish games were real
I wish I live in novels , I wish novels were real
I wish I live in anime , I wish anime …

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2

Almost one week

  August 16th, 2018 by Lb88

Today I cut for the first time in almost one week. I thought I could do it. I thought I could be strong! I always think I’m gonna wind up able to be ok but I’m never really ok. I was mildly happy today and that’s a shock because i haven’t been even close to happy in god knows how long! I spent the day boating and drinking with friends but when I got home around 8:00 pm my depression got the best of me and I found myself with a blade in my hand cutting my thighs without remorse. I thought this would be …

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4

Social Anxiety is an asshole

  August 13th, 2018 by sansfranzdeput

The title makes the theme pretty clear: I have buttloads of Social Anxiety, and it is a living Hell dealing with, ignoring, or confronting it on a daily, and sometimes, hourly basis. I have battled against it my whole memorable life, and I’ve had it up to here- *raises hand to tippy top of head* -with all the bullshit.

I had an amazing day today/yesterday, but all I can think about, all the thoughts I can conjure and obsess over are, “what if I fucked it up? What if the people I talked to and had coffee with in that wonderful, cozy cafe think I am …

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0

In-between

  August 13th, 2018 by somesadgirl

what does it all mean?
what’s the purpose of investing time in people & things if it could all be taken away in an instant?
People crave all the money in the world to fix their troubles yet some can’t be fixed with riches.
I wish it could all that simple, to let go of my troubles but it’s something that lives within me.
something that’s lived within me for quite some time and it’s slowly crumbling me into the gravel.
some people can fight it, others can’t, I’m trying to figure out where I fit into.
the more time passes the closer I get to crumbling completely but something always …

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12

No hope, just anger and pain

  August 12th, 2018 by TheDyingEmperor

Nobody can help me, including myself. That is a crushing feeling.

I really, desperately want to die. I want to murder this worthless male-thing that I am.

The pain is absolutely unbearable. To be completely helpless and hopeless, while at the same time not yet ready to jump.

People can’t relate and can’t say anything useful. ‘Oh, I’ve been there’. No you haven’t. ‘Oh it will get better’. NO IT WON’T! WHY ARE YOU MAKING SUCH HOLLOW STATEMENTS?! You have no fucking clue who I am, how can you say that it will get better?

This is what people always say. Family? I don’t talk to anyone from my …

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3

I feel hopeful

  August 11th, 2018 by NotSoSuicidalNoMoe

I started taking this drug my psychologists prescribed me. I was initially very hesitant to try it since she said my skin could fall off ? (though the chances of it happening were very low –and if I saw any rashes in my skin to immediately go to the ER and it would not get to that point). But I had a horrible episode a few days ago. I spoke with my boyfriend, Eric, about it. I told him how I felt and why I wasn’t so open with him. I told him that I didn’t want to stress him out or to see him …

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2

Broken

  August 9th, 2018 by blackout21

I am just going to describe my situation, thoughts and feelings here in arbitrary order:
-I am addicted to dimethyl ether(gas in hair spray cans) and media including porn.
-I just now realize how much damage this has caused. I fail at almost everything I try. (85% of the last 7 bigger things I tried)
-I was diagnosed with 3 different mental health issues.(ADD, PTSD, paranoid schizophrenia(here in Europe the chances of being employed with this alone is only around 15%(https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15133589))
-I think I have lost a good chunk of my intelligence.(I once had a high IQ(well seems like I only now know what I have lost))
-I am too uncreative …

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