Rants

2

Today…

June 3rd, 2017by GerbzBaby

I felt today didn’t start so good. I told my two friends I didn’t want to hang out because I was in a depressed mood (told them I didn’t feel well) and I had to clean. But they ended up showing up at my house anyways. I agreed to go but I told my sisters not to come even though my friends asked them to come (I get jealous and lonely when I, my sisters and my friends hang out together.. all they do is pay attention to them.. but that’s another story). The whole time I felt horrible. Horrible for not letting my sisters …

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3 weeks ago • Family & Friends Effects, Fun & Interesting, General, Rants

3

I’m done

June 3rd, 2017by silent_songbird

Life has been such a huge freaking struggle and I feel like I’m done. The chronic pain I suffer from, my sick family, my failure as a person, I’m sick of it. I’m tired of living…but, I’m not positive I want to die.

I’m kind of convincing myself not to off myself by challenging the concept of suicide. You see right now, when I think about suicide I ask myself how my corpse will look, or how others will react as well as the bliss of nothingness. If I was going to really commit suicide, I’d have to stop caring about superficial aspects of my postmortem …

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3 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, Coping Skills, General, Rants

2

I’m beginning to hate my “friend” again

June 1st, 2017by GerbzBaby

Okay  before I give you any details  in what’s happening now, let me start by saying me and this person have had beef together in the past. And.. we both liked each other.. not to sure we both like each other anymore. If you want to know about some of the past issues  I have had with him check a few posts from 2016.

Moving on…

So the other night on snapchat I saw him making very concerning posts. Stuff like “I wish I died before the ambulance arrived at my house,” “I already know I’m not wanted, don’t have to remind me,” so on an so …

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3 weeks ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants

11

I Don’t Just Want To Be Tolerable, I Want To Be Likeable

May 31st, 2017by ShiSui

Sam’s Point

Myself included, I tolerate my existence I don’t like it at all. What’s the point then? Why tolerate it? And even worse if you know you can’t fix it, like I KNOW I can’t fix me, the fact while my peers live their life I’m trying to work at being mentallly ready for life falling further behind day by day, just to be a different me, can you be a different you? Really what’s the point of getting out of bed and looking at things just looking right through them instead of at …

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3 weeks ago • Rants

35

Will a life left unanswered

May 31st, 2017by Killstead

When I look back upon my life, I see the many pitfalls I otherwise naively walked into. All the potential and talent wasted because I had convinced myself it would be a worthless endeavor. I never believed I was intelligent even when I heard it said of me. I had thought, if I am so smart – then why does it all seem so dumb? Why were others so capable of being satisified in the struggle of accomplishing something? All I wanted was to be distracted. Distracted from what was wanted, needed, desired, and/or demanded of me. Not that I wanted to become lazy, or …

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3 weeks ago • General, Rants

1

so many

May 31st, 2017by babypanda

I don’t want to be suicidal. I don’t want to feel as though the only way to make things better for everyone is through my absence. But that’s always where I seem to end up.

Too many feelings all at once

I don’t know how to stop

Wish it would end

I don’t want to be here

It hurts to be alive

It hurts to hurt you

I’m tired of trying, of being, of

Why can’t I be normal??!?!??!!?!??!!?!??!?!?

What is my purpose

Why am I here

Jumbled thoughts running through my head

Just keep living

One more day

Make it to the next

I am calm

The storm has passed

More like locked away

But we don’t talk about that

I never talk …

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3 weeks ago • General, Poetry & Art, Rants

2

What Hurts The Most.

May 29th, 2017by kellinandrew

Many things can happen in life,

This I know.

But what do you do,

When the pain is to much to bare.

You hurt yourself,

And call It fair,

You tell yourself that it is your you fault,

That you should have cared.

Now it’s to late.

I didn’t think it would happen to me. At all. Why would it happen? That is what I don’t understand, he tries to help, and I know he cares. It hurt him too, but why? Why does it hurt? Why am I so upset? The baby, can I …

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4 weeks ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, My Suicide Note, Poetry & Art, Rants, Stories of Loss

2

Lost

May 28th, 2017by melancholychild

I feel like everything is working against me right now. I feel very tied down, and I want to run away. I have responsibilities, and I have a path planned for my future, and I have goals I need to achieve to reach that future. But they aren’t what I want to do. They don’t make me happy. They don’t bring me satisfaction. I like writing — a lot. I like writing stories about people who would literally be considered my alter ego. If I could sit and write all day, every day, for hours and hours on end, there is no doubt in my …

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4 weeks ago • Rants

15

A God

May 28th, 2017by Thetoshiana

Is there a God?

I’m angry.  I wish there was a God. Something that gives me hope. I wish I could have that comfort from believing.

But I know there is no God.

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4 weeks ago • General, Rants

2

Almost Made a Scene at Work

May 27th, 2017by BlueDiamond

I keep being told that I’m doing a good job, only been critiqued on one thing, but then well I wasn’t in trouble or anything like that. He said he wants to focus on zoning things in the store, since that was my strong point, and that we have too many employees and the plants have enough water due to the rain.

I’ve worked too many jobs to know where this heading, Yeah, they’re going to soften the blow, this is why I never believe the good comments, then they’ll laid you off because you were not needed enough for the company. I have noticed that …

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4 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, General, Rants

1

May 27th, 2017by doePrince

Sometimes its just frustrating to keep on with the uphill battle is all. Been in highs and lows and while the lows are particularly bad they arent like how they used to be.

Regardless, its still really fucking frustrating when ya actually try to do what you’re supposed to and it doesn’t seem to be doing any good. Keeping up with the doctors, actually giving a shit bout my general health. Even trying to manage or eliminate stress factors in my life but im still battling these hallucinations and voices.

Sometimes something does get to me but its really easy to squash those worries if I ACTUALLY …

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4 weeks ago • Coping Skills, General, Rants

3

I Want To Die

May 25th, 2017by Todamnbad

My life has always been a living hell. Grew up in a dysfunctional family. Suffered a lot of verbal abuse and some physical. It was so bad my friends were scared to come over. That started when I was 8 years old and all that time beforehand, I had a normal childhood. It was when my mom got the new boyfriend shit changed which was when I was 8 and so forth. I was a smart kid and I considered myself smart. A and B student through high school. Had high self esteem. Didn’t have too many friends which didn’t bothered me. Lack of friends …

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4 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, General, Rants, Stories of Loss

5

Why am i alive

May 25th, 2017by ImSayingGoodBye

Seriously… why the f am I here? I just don’t get myself.. everything planned is ready. The tools are placed. But I’m making excuses. Why? I keep telling myself “eventually it’s over, but stay a few months longer for the hell of it” I bought a computer for games. Considering I spend most of my time now.. hiding from sound. I had surgery to fix my ears.. didint work.. we’re going for another attempt/ approach in a month.. I don’t know why I’m trying to fix myself when I’m just going to suicide soon. I guess I’m just scared and I still wanna live in …

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4 weeks ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General, I Will Survive, My Suicide Note, Poetry & Art, Rants, Stories of Hope, Stories of Loss, Suicidal Survivors

7

dont you dare…

May 24th, 2017by anne33

don’t you dare compete with other peoples pain. since when is this a competition??? reading other comments on tons of posts saying that other people have it worse, that someone is hurt more than others, blah blah blah.

fun fact: EVERYONE HURTS. accept it. help each other and we can all grow stronger together.

belittling someone else’s pain isn’t gonna make you feel better. and, why do you wanna be the one to “hurt more” anyways? wouldn’t u typically consider that an.. idk.. bad thing?

sorry im hella emotional right now and i got kinda mad. sorry friends i love you all, this is just my opinion. have …

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4 weeks ago • General, Rants

4

Teenager

May 24th, 2017by musicalloser

When I was a kid I wanted nothing but to get to my teenage years.

I wish I didn’t rush growing up.

Now it feels like a chore to just get out of bed in the morning. I still go to bed hoping I don’t wake up the next morning. I would love to go back to those childhood days when everything was okay.

I sometimes wish this was all just a dream. I’m tired of being where I am now, but I can’t go to anyone for help or I’ll be told I am only seeking attention.

I tried calling for help, and yet no one listened.

All my …

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1 month ago • General, Rants

13

Stupid Sexual Urges

May 23rd, 2017by BlueDiamond

I can never have any real friends. All I attract is perverts everywhere I go saying that they’re my friend, more like hoping to be a friend with benefits. Nobody cares about what I have to say or what I like. I might as well walk around saying, “Blah, blah, blah, look at my tits” over and over again. People are going to group me into that category of sluts, even though I don’t put out. I get sexualized every where I turn, and people wonder why I hate sex so much. Why I don’t want to go out anymore? Can never look a man …

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1 month ago • Chronic Pain, General, Rants

3

I tried to get help

May 23rd, 2017by Milestiba

I went to group yesterday and today with a bag of clothes to go to the hospital. Yesterday, I could not bring myself to talk to the therapist. I have been on my phone every night with two and three different crises lines. But I always say that I will be safe even with the racing thoughts and plans to attempt suicide.

Today, I asked the therapist how do you push across the point of knowing you need help to actually taking it. She told me that the only person who could answer that question was the one asking it. She thanked me for coming to …

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1 month ago • General, My Suicide Note, Rants

1

people; getting stuff out of my head

May 23rd, 2017by vee

even though i can’t feel anything and my brain is a blur, i can still pretend everything’s fine, and people believe it. don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing; i guess it’s a bit of both.
about a week ago, i was told that people saw me as someone composed and mature, and that i seem to be happy even when there’s bad things going on; that it helps others feel better. and i legitimately laughed out loud when i heard that.
off topic, but being a young person who just moved to the other side of the world is hard. wow, shocker! my …

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1 month ago • General, Rants

10

Boulder

May 23rd, 2017by _Angel_x

Have you ever woken up and felt like there’s just this gigantic boulder on you holding you down ? And there’s no way you can move it. And you don’t have the energy to even try. So you just accept your fate and lie there being crushed by its weight. Even when people are screaming at you to get up. And you try to explain to them that you physically can’t. Nothing can break you out of this trance.

You stay under this boulder until the day it finally suffocates you.

That was my morning. How was yours ?

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1 month ago • General, Rants

1

jabbering

May 22nd, 2017by hailtotheamnesiac

Here we go again. I’m left alone in my bed, with nothing but the sound of my fan and my laptop. My boyfriend went to bed, after the horrible day he had. Today was the first time I realized I’m depressed…..again. Only God knows why I was given clinical depression at the age of 15, with severe anxiety to top it off. I have no friends (besides my honey), and the only will to live I have is my religion. I’m losing that will. My religion takes about a great afterlife, and I have never wanted to go more than I do now. Since my …

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1 month ago • General, Rants

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