I’m sorry I’m ugly
I’m sorry I’m useless
I’m sorry that I’m not smarter
I’m sorry that I’m not more athletic
I’m sorry for being so annoying
I’m sorry for being a piece of shit
I’m sorry that I’m not better at my job
I’m sorry that I’m fat
I’m sorry that I can’t cook better meals
I’m sorry that weak
I’m sorry that I’m emotional
I’m sorry that I’m so pathetic
I’m sorry to anyone that has to deal with me
I’m sorry that I exist
Seriously.
Shut up.
There is an old quote that I have very easily warmed up to, and it goes that smaller minds discuss people, things, and events while the better minds discuss ideas. I don’t know who originally said this, but I feel that is strongly correlates to a number of issues I’ve got with certain forms of entertainment. I may sound like hypocrite because I myself am discussing a certain type of people, but the idea behind it bears word that needs to be spoken now more than ever.
You read the title of this rant so I am going to cut to the chase. Can people …
I’ve been beatin
I’ve been shamed
I’ve been lost for so long
My family doesn’t know me
My friends aren’t there anymore
I don’t know where to go
I don’t know…………
This conversation took place in my mind today:
Me- Wow, this Jell-o sure is tasty.
Ideation- You should definitely kill yourself right now. With that spoon.
Me- Literally??? I was talking about Jell-o??? Why are you like this???
Depression- No, no, he has a good point.
do these countless hours and years of self-deprivation mean anything?
do i not matter if i was not thin to begin with? do i not matter if i eat?
is my sickness real? am i sick at all?
i need to cut now
but i have a thing next weekend that has me showing my arms, and i dont want to cut anywhere else
it feels good to cut my arm
theres still scars from 8 months ago
i dont know if the boy i think i love cares enough
i want to delete all my social medias and stop talking to people
i want to sleep
and not have to worry about school or work
or family
we are dying
i hate it here
I hate my mother. She among others say life is worth living, however from what I see and what I am, I cannot imagine a greater punishment than can be inflicted on a person than life itself. I wish I was that baby she aborted, I’d prefer them to deal with life’s awfulness, instead of me. Why did I have to be born, I don’t understand. I definitely hate my father. He is a foul, lowlife, useless piece of trash that disgraces the concrete and carpet he walks on. That fact this fraud is my father is shameful and disturbing. I hate them for creating …
When New Years Eve arrives, IF it arrives for me, I think I will be very happy to say goodbye to 2018, because this year has been the most difficult and painful year of my entire life.
The despair hit me again a couple of days ago. Every time the despair hits, it wears me down a little bit more, and sometimes I think there will be nothing left. And this time the despair was pretty bad. On the one-to-ten scale of despair, this was about an eight. But it’s starting to lift a bit. I hope I can hold on. If I don’t, I think …
He kept asking me to leave him and move, he wanted me to break up with him first and he did not want to end it first. He told me he can take the blame even if I leave him first. Because, we don’t have a future together. He is not ready to think of even giving it a try, instead he wants me to accept the reality and move on.
He says we both knew it right from day 0 when we started this relationship. He stopping coming near me even via texts, he is now ready to turn back and leave. I’m trying so …
I will never ever try to or fall in love again to anyone
Cause no one will understand the pain I got
Even tho I tell you all about it
You still dont understand
Am I to selfish to you??
Yes I am
Am I too moody?
Yes I am
Im already told you THIS IS ME
Im still under depression and still hating everyone around me
You said I LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE
But YOU DONT
Look what you have done ?!
You make it worse
Just go away from my life
Im not here to share happiness with you
I cant give happiness to you
Cause I dont have one
Im not like the other
I cant cry even …
I don’t believe I’m “good” person, if there’s such thing as being good. I believe I am the furtherest thing from it, despite what others tell me.
I’ve tried to be the “good” person I dreamed of and what people wanted me to be, yet I fall back on my annoying habits. I’m lazy, manipulative, unhealthy, very paniky under stress, and my most disliked, fortgetfull.
Being forgetful has been a blessing and a curse, the blessing is when I have a bad day I can go to sleep and wake up refreshed, forgetting what happened yesterday. The curse is I start to forget the simplest things when …
on arts.
I gain a nothin’ when it contains words.
sung as if written. but I lie to myself.
Since my last post in May I’ve gained and then ultimately lost friends because of how terrible of a person I am. I really don’t know why I try anymore. Maybe I give mmyself false confidence that I can actually be friends with people and have long standing friendships or have people that actually want to talk to me instead of just pitying me. I also started doing online school but I’m still fucking depressed so I have no energy to do work. My mom has gotten a lot more depressed and everything in my personal has gotten worse. So has everything else in the …
I have recently moved to a new home in a new city with my parents, and my boyfriend of three years. I have only just lived with my parents prior to this and have had similar feelings in the past few years. In the last city I was in, I had a decent job and so did my boyfriend. I had planned all would go smoothly and I would be able to move out of their home and my boyfriend and I could buy a home shortly. But my dad got another job forcing my parents to need to move, I originally thought i could …
I get high quality medicine. Shall I bother? No one is going to lose life by. …
But I robbed due nationality a piece of my identity.
I’m merely lost and confused. I’m torn between sticking with the person I am now or going back to the person I was before. If I go back to who I was before, I wouldn’t care anymore. I wouldn’t be hurt and life would be easier. There was no concept of if a life mattered before, it was just me and my brother that mattered. There were no friends, no relationships, no anything. It was silence, cold, welcoming, silence.
The person I am now cares too much, sheds too many tears. I’m insecure and don’t want to trust anyone. The people I do try and trust …
Especially when you’ve realized that nothing we do here in reality will ever compare to our imaginations. And no, I’m not talking about petty, shallow, superficial, & stupid imaginations like most people only have with their simple-minded brains. I’m talking about all those best fantasy movies, games, novels, comic books, anime/manga, etc, with all their magic, superpowers, & magical, fantasy, adventurous world/universe with its limitless, unlimited possibilities.
Fuck this reality.
Reality is boring, stupid, & depressing.
reality is boring , life is boring ,
it’s all about money
i hate money
i hate business
i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books
I hate …
Hi! So, I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot lately, and I realised it’s been a little bit over a year since I first tried to commit suicide. I’ve experienced so many things, tried so many means of relief and just like I’d imagined nothing worked. Now, I’m more depressed and helpless than ever before.
They say it gets better, and so I used to think. I’ve been depressed as far as I can remember — I had my first major mental breakdown when I was 12, now I’m 19 soon to be 20. I used to think as I grew older, things would magically get …
You don’t need to tell me all the reason I should hate myself. I already know them. I repeat them to myself every night with nootropics to keep me awake and kicking. Kicking myself for being a failure, for not doing anything right. For never being enough.
I try to do everything right. I read the textbooks, look over my notes, do the work. I could not work for an entire MONTH, an entire 30 DAYS, and I would STILL be advanced in my classes. because I work hard. I “grind” and “hustle” everyday. But unless I haven’t walked in the snow in nothing but flip …
Hey guys! I’m here again after many months I wrote my last post. My life is lonely as always. It’s not changed anything. I’m still a virgin and in some months I’ll be 24. Nobody has any interest to talk to me and be my friend. Girls are the same, indifferent and they don’t want to help me to get away from my loneliness. There is a girl in my job who is blond and hot. I like her and I’d love her to be my girlfriend. But after I talked to her for the first time, she started to avoid me. She always ignores …
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