If there’s no love, what’s the reason to live? What’s that?..’learn to love yourself’? Being human contradicts that.
Even nature would agree we are selfish. Willing to suck the life out of all things, demand everything serve a purpose. It’s slightly terrifying.
I don’t know what to do or anything….I’m lonely, alone, worthless, not anything but a waste of space, time, effort…anything. I would give my life story but have so many times, would also be a book…i type too much. I annoy others I just gwt in the way. I have tourettes, as well as many mental issues some self diagnosed, others not,
I have many health problems like celiac disease, back issues, jaw messed up, etc.
I try to make friends, but everyone gets tired of the way I talk or I’m plain boring. I’m married and trying to get divorces…middle of it. He is extremely narsisistic …
I was intensely suicidal for months until two weeks ago when i started feeling better and life became worth it. I want to carry on living and recovering for now but im also very keen on making sure i can readily kill myself when i feel to in future, the option needs to always be there so when times get tough or pointless or if i just feel like its time to go, i can do it painlessly and possibly in comfort. I want a suicide kit, everybody should have an escape plan, how naive and irresponsible it is not to. What if i became …
There’s nothing left.
My boyfriend broke up with me because of my anorexia.
Ive lost motivation to do well in school.
I dont care about my work performance, and neither does my boss.
its the same exhaustion every day. no friends, no life, apathy.
All I want is the gym and my winter coat. Green tea and black coffee. A scale, my measuring cups, and a bag of apples. Thats all that I care about in life right now.
I just…cant function. Im empty. Apathetic.
The medicine is like a bandaid.
After months of crawling in the metaphorical dirt, my physician got fed up and referred me to a psychiatrist. I didn’t fight it, I gave up.
I’ve given up for a while now. I’m in a mental limbo: I care… but I don’t.
How may times have I cycled through the mental healthcare system? I’ve lost count.
Have a crisis… see the Doc… meet the new Psych… get meds… ignore everything…. Have a crisis- again.
I thought I was doing well. I always think I’m doing well. The medication slaps a lid on my emotions, muffles the voices… for a while. But when the …
I didn’t really know where else to turn at this point. I’ve attempted suicide in the past but haven’t succeeded.
I do have a small will to live but so many things just bring me down. I’m sure many on here already know that feeling when your life is static and you just aren’t happy with your present situation. No boyfriend, no friends, everyone seems to be repelled by me even though I try to be respectful and optimistic. I feel as if I’m just disliked and unwanted. Everything I do is unappreciated. My life is going no where.
I’m a 26 year old still living at …
Have you ever been afraid to reach out to someone? to anyone?
Have you ever experience opening up to someone and you do your best to make them understand what you are going through and what is going through your head and yet you can’t seem to make them understand regardless of how much words are going out of your mouth on how you carefully choose words to explain to them what is what?
I don’t think anyone can understand. ‘Cause myself can’t understand it too. Do you?
Before i try opening up, there’s a lot of what ifs in my head.
There’s so many thoughts in my head …
Something changed. I don’t think it was me, at least not to begin with.
Now I’m planning an idea so far out of my personality; something that feels like I’m retaliating. I’m not sure if I care either, Maybe it’s just an excuse to do something crazy.
What else is there to say.
So if you see me walk down the hallway and you want to ask me if I’m okay…
While you refuse to believe me when I whisper yes…
Just know that I’m thinking about how you’d react if I told you I wanted to die.
You wouldn’t want to help me then.
That’s a promise.
“You got an 86% on your final exam” is what my dad texted me this morning. I can tell from the text that he’ll call me to his office, grill me about how stupid I and the rest of the infantile population is, then proceed to tell me how SHE’s doing everything better. How SHE’s going to have the best grades in the grade. How SHE’s going to get the governor’s medal in 12th grade because SHE’s organized, SHE’ s a hard worker, and SHE doesn’t settle for under 95%. But I do, he’ll say. I’m settling and failing and letting myself fail, he’ll say.
I …
I want to die so bad. I just don’t get how others can wait for a tomorrow? Or how they have something that they’re working towards. I don’t have anything. I’m only 17 but I feel so lost and life’s being a *****. I’m so scared. I was going to end my life today. I decided on going for a walk. To get my head clear. I know I’m not ready to attempt cause I’m scared of failing.
Every time I let myself feel anything I get fucked over. Every relationship I’ve been in before my current one I’ve been cheated on. Now my current SO is talking to and hanging out with a girl who up until 2 weeks ago was sending him nudes (We’ve been dating longer than 2 weeks, it was going on well we were dating). I want to trust him I really fucking do, but when every single time you’ve trusted in the past you’ve gotten hurt its so hard. Its getting harder and harder to feel anything. I am so numb. Being numb is better than getting …
I’m so fucking alone. One can’t just spout “I wished I was dead” to others. This is my first post here, it’s a bit ramble-y.
I don’t know what to do anymore. The suicidal impulses got better with medication, but I can’t move on and work and live my life like a normal person. Almost every day I hope to die.
I lived multiple suicide attempts, but I feel like I didn’t deserve to survive. I can’t support myself- why should I live? I feel like a disgrace of an adult. I only got a few years to get better, before my brain decides to quit trying. …
I don’t really know why but recently I’ve noticed that I don’t eat as much as I used to, whenever I was having an especially bad day I’d usually eat more then normal. I was recently put on some medication (2 weeks ago) so I thought maybe that could be the reason but I noticed that I started eating less over a month ago so that can’t be it. I used to weigh 114lbs and now I’m down to 105lbs and people keep commenting on my weight but it makes me really uncomfortable. It’s gotten to the point where I had to force myself to …
I thought that I’d already been in hell since late 2011. Extreme isolation, becoming mostly a shut-in, losing the last few contacts I had one at a time. Not working, not in school. Giving up on myself and gaining weight. Hardly getting any sunlight. But it became the new normal, entertain myself as best I could, listen to podcasts and watch streams to try to emulate some form of human interaction, and just deal with it.
In April I ended up in the ER. Thought I had an infection or something. I was having trouble in the bathroom. I’m 31 years old. My bladder hasn’t worked …
So I want to die. Like honestly. I’m so done with everything. Mom’s banning me from watching Criminal Minds (Because it’s “corrupting my mind”) and my parents took all the locks off my doors and I really just want to cut. I’m tired of living here and I’m already sick of summer break. Goddddd. Just frustrated.
I can’t figure out my gender either. Like I thought I was agender but then what if I’m FTM trans? I dunno. I’m just realizing this now too. It’s not something I ever knew from a young age. Is that even possible? Also, can you be FTM trans without bottom …
I haven’t posted here for ages, the last time I was having the worst time of my life (so far). Due to certain circumstances, I was so suicidal back then, but I feel like I’m there once again. I’m 18 years old now, and I feel like my life is a shambles, something that’s just destined to fail.
I’ve become so self-loathing, just looking at myself in the mirror makes me feel such shame and like I want to end it all, there’s not much I can do to change my body. My voice is too high and annoying, I’ve developed spots and scars on my …
I’ve sat here, countless days, haven’t left the house, haven’t DONE anything, I have no purpose, nobody is willing to hear my cries, even my best friend, whom I thought was exactly like me cant see anything wrong. Im leaving to go to Japan in 12 days, and after that, when I get back, Im going to go see her and then, then Im done. Im done not having a reason to live, im done being hurt by everyone, im done with my deadbeat family who always bash on me. there is no way that im going to sit here and let this happen. so, …
I have been struggling with bipolar disorder since I was twelve years old
I can’t count on my fingers and toes how many times I’ve self-harmed, attempted suicide and been hospitalized.
Lately my thoughts of suicide have grown much more frequent for the first time in years.
I thought with age, these feelings would decrease or maybe even diminish but alas, here I am.
Everyday is a struggle to combat the “voices in my head”.
I wish I weren’t so logical as to combat these thoughts.
I’m exhausted. I just want to sleep forever.
If you let me fall in love with you like I want to, I’d do anything for you. I mostly want to massage you, eat you out, give you the best food and drink, and remember the smallest things about your personality.
I’d even help you enact a painless and undetectable suicide, if you were completely sure that’s what you wanted. It’s your right and I would never assert otherwise. I would bury your secret and cover it with a nonplussed veneer. I signed up for the whole woman with all her flaws and self-doubt, just so I could find joy in giving. Obviously I’d rather …
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