I have a friend who cuts herself and she is thinking about committing suicide. She told me about her life and I then compared it to my life. I found they were the same. We both have cuts on our bodies and our fathers abuse us. She can’t do anything without getting thrown somewhere. My father just takes his belt off and whips me with it.  I told my mom that he abuses me and she ignored me. I told her I wanted to kill myself and all she said was, “God doesn’t except those who kill themselves.” Lot of help that did. I haven’t tried yet […]
Rants
i think I get why I self injure. It’s because half of me is in constant pain and turmoil, and the other part looks perfectally fine. So in my quest for balance in my life, I try to make both sides show equal amounts of what I feel. A balance between physical and emotional pain. What I look like on the outside, my inside is unable to deal with, so I have to change the outside to match the inside. I’m wrecked emotionally. I have no faith in anything anymore, I’m in constant pain, and I want to die. So I show it by cuts […]
You won’t EVER understand until you’ve been through what I have.
You don’t know anything about me.
You don’t have the right to judge someone when you have no idea what they go through. Every. Single. Day.
Been molested, raped, bullied, punched, slapped, used, burned, cut, and beaten til blood dripped down my cheeks and elbow.
You have no right to call me a *****, whore, slut, skank, hoe, chink, etc
Every word you used on me I added a new scar on my wrist.
Been to the hospital waking up in shame wishing I wouldn’t hear another insult.
Being called an stupid dumb idiot for committing suicide. For not wanting to hear anymore hurtful words. […]
Just wondering if anyone else out there is curious as to what really happens when a person dies. I am not exactly religious so heaven and hell may not apply to me, or they could. I do have nothing against that way of thinking though. But honestly I wanna know some other peoples views. What do you REALLY think happens when you die?
As days pass, I sit in silence.
I cant remember the last time I was actually happy.
I doubt everything and everyone.
I wonder when my ending point is. All I ever wanted was to live a normal life, to be happy, simple as that. Hurting myself more and more everyday wishing today, today I will make that false move and end EVERYTHING right here at this moment.
This is the fourth time this has happened to me in five months.
First one was a guy I dated for two months. Things were fine, no problems, until towards the end, after he got a text from his ex saying she was jealous that he was dating me and he became distant. He told me he stopped feeling things for me, after telling me how strong his feelings were. I was aheady in the hospital that summer for having constant thoughts of suicide after ending a serious relationship with a guy that left me about six times and cheated on me once. I began to […]
I really feel that the end is coming closer and closer.
I’m so close to my braking point. I want to go threw with it.
but if i fail i will be teased, and my life will be worse.
My family and I do not get along, my friends are going away im alone,
I don’t want to live, the light at the end of the tunnel is gone.
Honesty is a virtue. Especially with the degree of deceit in our world. Even the kind that is told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. Or the kind told not to betray a secret. The kind told to let someone keep hope or faith. The kinds told that keep our current system running. And the kinds that are told to deliberately injure, harm, and hurt.
Sometimes we tell them to ourselves. And then comes the time where it is easier to fabricate a tale rather than tell your loved ones the truth. Of course when they find out the truth it will hurt them, but better tha […]
Some say that the proliferation of social networks is killing people’s interpersonal relationships. I think it is taking them to another dimension. I’ve never met any of you in person but I find myself worried abo many of you when I’m offline. Hoping you are ok, hoping uyou are getting better, and for those who are decided hoping their end is painless and peaceful.
So many people here could be saved by the people in their lives just listening and being there. For someone to just hug them, support them, and justactually care. I wish I could have an island and just bring all of you […]
I am extremely tired. Happiness keeps teasin me. Everytime it feels like its finally in grasp and my lifes going to be ok, it slips right out of my hands. Somebody I thought was my friend screwed up my relationship a while back. We never got over each other. I still like him alot. My boyfriend now, doesnt make me alot happier. We only see each other literally maybe three times a year so we just text. In the middle of the convErsation he’ll leave without explanation…yay. Then he acts like it never happened. I flirted with my ex and sccidently went a little too […]
Everyone feels sorry for the people that are physically hurt. People with broken bones get their casts signed. People with cancer get support from all corners of the earth. But what do people think of mental illnesses? They think that it’s a choice. That we can just snap out of it. And if we can’t, we should either go to a crazy house or die. We get no support except from our close ones and fellow sufferers. When someone nearly dies in a car crash, they awake to notes of love and compassion sitting next to their hospital bed. You know what I woke up […]
Okay…This has been going on for a while now..My best friend has issues, I can tell but she wont let me in to help her, she knows all about my problems and is always there when I need her but now I wish she would let me in so I can help her. Whenever I ask her if she’s okay she says ‘yea’ but I know she’s lying to me, I really don’t understand…She knows I’ve went through similar stuff to her. And when I ask her again if she’s okay she turns away and walks off… I feel like she’s pushing me away for […]
I don’t really know what to do… There’s this really cute looking guy at my support group thingie and I think I really like him the only problem is he’s gay……What do I do? I know I can’t be with him but I want to be more than friends, Should I just forget about him?
Day by day goes by and stuff happens and it puts me on the edge. I hate this life its not fair. I did not choose to be born so can’t I take my own life? But truthfully and honestly I am scared shitless. I don’t know how or when I am just certain that it will happen. I had a close friend who committed suicide and it has always been a rumor how he did it. The family never told anyone. But I heard it was bloody. I dont understand how somebody can have so much courage and be so brave. I havent done a lot […]
Trying to make sure I do my method of falling asleep peacefully. Not sure it is going to happen. Not depressed, not in pain other than the normal chronic health problems. Which I was hoping would do me in but the doc says nope, Mr… you can live with this. /begin sarcasm  Lol. Out of the men in my family I’m the lucky one not killed by disease. /end sarcasm
I stopped taking the meds months ago. Hurts but not as much as the insomnia, the freqent urination, the weakness and joint pain.. agh.
At least it wasnt as bad as the chemo years ago. My hair actually […]
The darkness of life,
The brigthness of death,
Life’s excruciating pain,
Death’s soothing pleasure,
Life’s long term toil,
Death’s eternal rest,
Life’s confusing uncertainty,
Death’s confirmed state,
The confinement of life,
The freedom of death,
The caustic acid that is life,
The healing balm that is death,
Life’s sour holding,
Death’s sweet release.
It is funny how when people are upset about their issues, one of the main responses they are given is a comparison to people who are considerably worse off by objective comparison.
Nobody brings up people who seem to be considerably doing better by a similar comparison.Â
The motive behind it is understandable, yet since this is a world with no gurantees and one can only control ones actons and thoughts to a limited extent after one is born, why shoul one feel guilty for being born in a country where poverty is less of a problem than say a third world country.
Why should one feel guilty […]
I’m trying to make things right. fuck, i guess i didn’t realize working on a time limit makes things a helluva lot more difficult. Why is it that it’s never enough? why am I never enough? I can see my ‘friends’ going places, and doing things with their lives, but when I think of myself all I can think of is the nothingness inside of me (yes I stole that from Linkin Park), I can’t see myself going to college or getting a job, or being a ‘contributing member of society. I am stuck. and I just what to end it all.
Fuck. The nights and […]
i find myself ending each and every day here on this site. No matter what happened during the day, it always ends the same. An hour of rumination, followed by an hour of contemplation, all the while the world sleeps. Uncaring and cold, the world ignores my existence. I’m used to it. Being constantly in pain and suffering and having no hope that tomorrow will be better. And that is the saddest thing I can think of.
i cant get anything right. constantly in trouble. my mom found out i’ve had sex at 16, i send pictures to my boyfriend, i smoke weed. she found this out because my principle went through my school issued ipad and found pictures and conversations about sex on a texting app. i cant go back to school now. i cant let the administrators look at me after this. i cant look at myself hardly. i was put up for expulsion today. and thats not all, Â i just got in trouble for shoplifting. about two weeks ago, fine to pay, PTI, court the whole nine fucking yards. […]